Blue Coffin
Brown burial in blue box.98 total reviews
Comment from Natalie Walker
I appreciate your poem and the explanation after it for bringing attention to this topic, and it is done with beautiful imagery. I especially like "evergreen to everbrown." I think that is clever, and so is ending with "to build you a blue coffin."
I see no mistakes in this, nice work.
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2016
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I appreciate your poem and the explanation after it for bringing attention to this topic, and it is done with beautiful imagery. I especially like "evergreen to everbrown." I think that is clever, and so is ending with "to build you a blue coffin."
I see no mistakes in this, nice work.
Comment Written 29-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2016
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Thank you, NatalieWalker, for your glowing review. I am glad my poem brought "attention to this topic." I thank TAB that's Me for tweaking the "evergreen to everbrown" line. Thanks again.
Comment from nomi338
We, mankind, ignore the damage being done to our earth at our own peril. I know that some hope to escape the climatic end by either being dead by the time it comes or being able to escape to another planet. Pipe dreams and cartoon movies. We can make a difference but the greedy rich and those hoping to become rich are only concerned with gaining and maintaining their wealth at any and all costs. Too bad for the rest of us. Great write. My congratulations to all who contributed to the creation of this wake up call.
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2016
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We, mankind, ignore the damage being done to our earth at our own peril. I know that some hope to escape the climatic end by either being dead by the time it comes or being able to escape to another planet. Pipe dreams and cartoon movies. We can make a difference but the greedy rich and those hoping to become rich are only concerned with gaining and maintaining their wealth at any and all costs. Too bad for the rest of us. Great write. My congratulations to all who contributed to the creation of this wake up call.
Comment Written 29-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2016
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Yes, nomi338, we ignore the damage "done to our earth at our own peril." Reviewers in Spain, England, Canada, and throughout America have reported that their trees are dying because of fungus-borne bark beetles. Thank you for your review on my poem and for your congratulations on our wake up call project.
Comment from DonandVicki
I had no idea that this was happening to our forests. I hope that someone is doing something about it. I will check out the website. A very moving poem.
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2016
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I had no idea that this was happening to our forests. I hope that someone is doing something about it. I will check out the website. A very moving poem.
Comment Written 29-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2016
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DonandVicki, do check out the website and Google "bark beetles." You will find articles about this devastation. Thank you for your review of my "very moving poem."
Comment from TAB_that's me
I like yours is the best in the group though they are all powerful and wonderfully written.
I like that you touched on all the senses.
I have seen the rows of 'everbrown' trees in Nebraska as well. The farmers chopped down rows and rows of dead windbreaks.
Amazing work!
Teresa
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2016
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I like yours is the best in the group though they are all powerful and wonderfully written.
I like that you touched on all the senses.
I have seen the rows of 'everbrown' trees in Nebraska as well. The farmers chopped down rows and rows of dead windbreaks.
Amazing work!
Teresa
Comment Written 29-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2016
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Ah, Teresa, thank you, thank you, thank you, not only for your generous, six star review but suggesting that I add "now ever" to transform the line into "every evergreen now everbrown." Many reviewers have noted that clever line and wished they had thought of it.
"Everbrown" trees in Nebraska, too?! Reviewers in Arizona and England report that the trees are dying or have died over there, too, because of bark beetles. This infestation is global as the temperature rises and the beetles thrive.
I am unsure of whether or not my poem is the best in the group, but it is certainly the most unique and sensory. Other poets, I love them, spoke in big, sweeping generalities on climate change. I focused on a beetle that is the size of a grain of rice, and I take the reader on a sensory tour of the devastation it wrecks. By taking this macro approach, the poem gets under your skin in a way that they other poems, although forcefully written, do not achieve.
Thank you for your review, "everbrown" suggestion, and support.
Comment from Mark Childs
Well written and if I was to pick apart anything, it would be the:
you first notice
you next notice
you then notice
They don't fit the flow of an otherwise nicely told nature story. Keep up the good work
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2016
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Well written and if I was to pick apart anything, it would be the:
you first notice
you next notice
you then notice
They don't fit the flow of an otherwise nicely told nature story. Keep up the good work
Comment Written 29-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2016
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Thank you, Mark, for your generous review. Thank you also for encouraging me to "keep up the good work."
Comment from koolaid228
You are right so right my friend, we are killing all our natural resources, whether
it be trees or global warming, to the smog filled skies, to the over oiled drilled lands of Alaska, we are destroying are land, you have brought up a very interesting subject that I know a lot of people are unaware or don't care. Thank you for sharing such an interesting point my brother. koolaid228
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2016
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You are right so right my friend, we are killing all our natural resources, whether
it be trees or global warming, to the smog filled skies, to the over oiled drilled lands of Alaska, we are destroying are land, you have brought up a very interesting subject that I know a lot of people are unaware or don't care. Thank you for sharing such an interesting point my brother. koolaid228
Comment Written 29-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2016
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Yes, koolaid228, people are becoming aware of my "interesting point." Reviewers in Spain, England, and Canada have all reported that their trees are dying because of fungus-borne bark beetles. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
I did not know about this beetle killing life giving trees in a short period of time. That is terrible bad news for all of us on planet earth our only home.
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2016
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I did not know about this beetle killing life giving trees in a short period of time. That is terrible bad news for all of us on planet earth our only home.
Comment Written 29-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2016
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Yes, Sandra, reviewers in Nebraska, Arizona, Alberta, Canada, and now England have reported that their trees are dying or have died because of these bark beetles. This "is terrible bad news for all of us on planet earth our only home." Thank you for your review.
Comment from camaria
What a chilling description of a little-known disaster. I live in Alberta Canada, and have driven through some areas where pine beetles have infested. This winter was the mildest I can remember. In fact, there are already full fire bans on where I live as we had little snow over winter and no rain as of yet. I loved your last line about the coffin. Chilling. Excellent share.
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2016
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What a chilling description of a little-known disaster. I live in Alberta Canada, and have driven through some areas where pine beetles have infested. This winter was the mildest I can remember. In fact, there are already full fire bans on where I live as we had little snow over winter and no rain as of yet. I loved your last line about the coffin. Chilling. Excellent share.
Comment Written 29-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2016
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Yes, Camaria, reviewers in Nebraska, Arizona, and now England have reported that their trees are dying or have died because of these bark beetles. Yes, "What a chilling description of a little-known disaster" that has gone global. This is devastating. Thank you for your review of my "chilling, excellent share," and for telling me what is happening to the trees where you live. One of my greatest sadness is to hear reviewers from around the world inform me that their trees have died. Thanks for your review.
Comment from rama devi
Oh great! I love that you decided to go with everbrown..it's so spot on...and your brown background is a perfect complement to the poem's presentation. I love this addition to our great project. It's unique, well voiced, powerful and relevant. I love the opening in conversational tone, drawing the reader into appreciation of nature via what we're losing. I love the way the stanzas build up a crescendo.
great irony here:
Sweat trickles down your neck
on this winter day,
pitch perfect closing:
and you wonder if anyone will be left
to build you a blue coffin.
Wish I had a six.
******
Love,
rd
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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Oh great! I love that you decided to go with everbrown..it's so spot on...and your brown background is a perfect complement to the poem's presentation. I love this addition to our great project. It's unique, well voiced, powerful and relevant. I love the opening in conversational tone, drawing the reader into appreciation of nature via what we're losing. I love the way the stanzas build up a crescendo.
great irony here:
Sweat trickles down your neck
on this winter day,
pitch perfect closing:
and you wonder if anyone will be left
to build you a blue coffin.
Wish I had a six.
******
Love,
rd
Comment Written 29-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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Yes, rama devi, I kept "everbrown" and received a lot of praise on that but the real thanks go to Teresa of TAB that's Me for suggesting it. I have not read all of the poems in our project yet, but I know my poem is unique because it is specific, visceral, and sensory. I involve the reader's senses and used the "you" pronoun. When sweat trickles down your neck on a winter day, you know the world is in trouble. I am thrilled to participate in this project. Thanks for your review and encouragement.
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Yes--I love how the YOU worked here...meant to mention that in the review...but was reviewing quickly as I was about to leave for USA...and now....I've arrived! Warm smiles, rd
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Yes--I love how the YOU worked here...meant to mention that in the review...but was reviewing quickly as I was about to leave for USA...and now....I've arrived! Warm smiles, rd
Comment from babyross
What an interesting write to start the day. I love nature poems and to read of how the forest is becoming extinct because of the beetles is sad. You were extremely informative in this educational write, as well as your notes. Very well done.
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2016
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What an interesting write to start the day. I love nature poems and to read of how the forest is becoming extinct because of the beetles is sad. You were extremely informative in this educational write, as well as your notes. Very well done.
Comment Written 29-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2016
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Yes, babyross, I am "extremely informative in this educational write." Also informative is when reviewers in Spain, England, Canada, and throughout America report that their trees are dying because of fungus-borne bark beetles. Thank you for your review.
