Blue Coffin
Brown burial in blue box.98 total reviews
Comment from frogbook
Worthy of a six if I possessed one. This is very powerful from beginning to end but especially the vividly strong conclusion. Great way to get a sad and frightening message out there in a very talented piece of writing.
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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Worthy of a six if I possessed one. This is very powerful from beginning to end but especially the vividly strong conclusion. Great way to get a sad and frightening message out there in a very talented piece of writing.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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Thank you, frogbook, for your generous review of my powerful, frightening poem. I deeply appreciate it.
Comment from alleewin
This is a very powerful poem. It is well written using words that flow and make it easy to read. I have never had a taste for poems and I don't understand many, but I do like this one. I especially liked the way you used the five senses to show the true measure of what we are losing.
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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This is a very powerful poem. It is well written using words that flow and make it easy to read. I have never had a taste for poems and I don't understand many, but I do like this one. I especially liked the way you used the five senses to show the true measure of what we are losing.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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Thank you, alleewin, for your generous, six star review. I knew I had a hook of inspiration when I read an article in a reported stated she was unable to smell the pines in a dead forest. I developed my poem from there along the five senses and added thought to the sixth stanza. thank you for your review. I am glad you understood and liked my poem.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello,
I love the way you describe the story so well in poem form.
I can see why you are a story teller.
The tragedy of the loss of beautiful trees and the air they provide is huge. Well done my friend.
*Gypsy*
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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Hello,
I love the way you describe the story so well in poem form.
I can see why you are a story teller.
The tragedy of the loss of beautiful trees and the air they provide is huge. Well done my friend.
*Gypsy*
Comment Written 31-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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Yes, Gypsy, the storytelling in me shows in this poem. This poem is like an episode of Twilight Zone only that it is true and happening now. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Jonesy
Whoa. I've heard something about beetle's destructive powers before, but not quite like this. As if what we do to our planet isn't bad enough.
It's not often I'm educated as well as entertained (although in something of a sad way with this one) with a poem, so big props there.
I don't read much poetry, but seems easy to spot the skill behind this one.
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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Whoa. I've heard something about beetle's destructive powers before, but not quite like this. As if what we do to our planet isn't bad enough.
It's not often I'm educated as well as entertained (although in something of a sad way with this one) with a poem, so big props there.
I don't read much poetry, but seems easy to spot the skill behind this one.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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Thank you, Jonesy, for your review of my poem. It cheers me to know that it both educated and entertained you in a sad way. I am also cheered that people who seldom read poetry understand and appreciate my poem. Thanks.
Comment from rspoet
Like the locust they descend
and like the gypsy moth
they devour
leaving little behind
Global warming has many
unforeseen consequences
Perhaps they be victims of their own success
much like the moth
Perhaps the cold will return
Or perhaps not
A nicely written free verse poem
with a great message
Maybe someone will listen
before the only sound left
is the boring of beetles
Well done
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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Like the locust they descend
and like the gypsy moth
they devour
leaving little behind
Global warming has many
unforeseen consequences
Perhaps they be victims of their own success
much like the moth
Perhaps the cold will return
Or perhaps not
A nicely written free verse poem
with a great message
Maybe someone will listen
before the only sound left
is the boring of beetles
Well done
Comment Written 31-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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Thank you, rspoet, for your poetic review. At one point I had considered comparing the bark beetles to locusts. Some experts think the beetles will die off AFTER THEY DEVOUR THE LAST TREE. If that be the case, we are goners. Thanks for your review.
Comment from Liberty Justice
Nicely worded! Poet's concern for nature and man's way if wasting our natural resources makes poet a Poet Conservationist and Poet Environmentalist.
Writer is giving warning about using up unnecessary water trees etc. WELL DONE! liberty justice
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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Nicely worded! Poet's concern for nature and man's way if wasting our natural resources makes poet a Poet Conservationist and Poet Environmentalist.
Writer is giving warning about using up unnecessary water trees etc. WELL DONE! liberty justice
Comment Written 31-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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Thank you, Liberty Justice, for your review of my poem by a Poet Environmentalist. I appreciate it.
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You're so welcome dear poet.
See my writings and my.book for sale on My profile. liberty justice
Comment from songlines
This says it all - sadly true. You write beautifully, and since you say you are an oral storyteller I would love to hear your voice read this, (FanStory enables this) which I am sure would bring depth and strengthen the meaning to the listener. Just a by-the-way: I lived in S.F. for a while and still have family there.
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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This says it all - sadly true. You write beautifully, and since you say you are an oral storyteller I would love to hear your voice read this, (FanStory enables this) which I am sure would bring depth and strengthen the meaning to the listener. Just a by-the-way: I lived in S.F. for a while and still have family there.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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Thank you, songlines, for your generous, six star review. Yes, I am an oral storyteller and just racked up two performances and two workshops last week. I never considered doing a reading or a performance of this poem. You inspire me. Thanks.
Comment from hifein
very interesting take on the decimation of the by the beetle. the sky (or is it the blue wood) , i assume is the 'blue coffin' . on a deeper level we are all headed for coffins albeit of different colors. your style is engaging and your love of the natural '"un"man-made" is communicated well as well as your sadness for the loss. I like the way you communicated your visceral response to the decimation. also i like the repetition of the first line for emphasis.
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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very interesting take on the decimation of the by the beetle. the sky (or is it the blue wood) , i assume is the 'blue coffin' . on a deeper level we are all headed for coffins albeit of different colors. your style is engaging and your love of the natural '"un"man-made" is communicated well as well as your sadness for the loss. I like the way you communicated your visceral response to the decimation. also i like the repetition of the first line for emphasis.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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Thank you, hifein, for your generous, six star review. It is the wood that is dyed blue by a fungus the beetles carry to convert the wood into food their larvae can eat. When dried, the wood appeared stained and streaked with gray. I am glad you felt a "visceral response to the decimation." Thanks for your review
Comment from NJK62
This is a wonderful poem about climate change.
I particularly liked the way you create the effects of climate change through the senses: you evoke a before and after reality.
You first notice the absence
of the scent of pine needles
in the forest--
no minty memories of Christmases
spent searching the woods for a tree.
You next notice the absence
of the songs of birds
in the forest--
just the crackle and crunch of needles
and branches beneath your feet.
The neologism of 'everbrown' is apt and eye-catching, capturing imaginatively the effects of the beetle on the pines.
You then notice the presence
of dead pines
as far as the eye can see,
along ridges and slopes and valleys,
every evergreen now everbrown.
The well-observed detail of 'sweat' on a winter's day, captures the unnatural effects of climate change. Furthermore, the alliterative 'felled the forests..' gives power to the the line that describes the devastation caused by the bark beetles.
Sweat trickles down your neck
on this winter day,
and you wonder what wood tastes like
for the bark beetles,
which felled the forests from Canada to Mexico.
The poem ends with the powerful image of the 'blue coffin', a truly resonant image that acts both as a symbol of the effects of the climate change and a warning of what is to come.
Your arms and body vibrate
as your saw cuts an infected tree.
Back at your shop,
you sand, you polish, you run your fingers
over surfaces stained blue by the beetles' fungus,
And you think of the dead trees
to be recycled this way;
and of the customers on this planet;
and you wonder if anyone will be left
to build you a blue coffin.
There's some hihgly accomplished writing here. Nigel.
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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This is a wonderful poem about climate change.
I particularly liked the way you create the effects of climate change through the senses: you evoke a before and after reality.
You first notice the absence
of the scent of pine needles
in the forest--
no minty memories of Christmases
spent searching the woods for a tree.
You next notice the absence
of the songs of birds
in the forest--
just the crackle and crunch of needles
and branches beneath your feet.
The neologism of 'everbrown' is apt and eye-catching, capturing imaginatively the effects of the beetle on the pines.
You then notice the presence
of dead pines
as far as the eye can see,
along ridges and slopes and valleys,
every evergreen now everbrown.
The well-observed detail of 'sweat' on a winter's day, captures the unnatural effects of climate change. Furthermore, the alliterative 'felled the forests..' gives power to the the line that describes the devastation caused by the bark beetles.
Sweat trickles down your neck
on this winter day,
and you wonder what wood tastes like
for the bark beetles,
which felled the forests from Canada to Mexico.
The poem ends with the powerful image of the 'blue coffin', a truly resonant image that acts both as a symbol of the effects of the climate change and a warning of what is to come.
Your arms and body vibrate
as your saw cuts an infected tree.
Back at your shop,
you sand, you polish, you run your fingers
over surfaces stained blue by the beetles' fungus,
And you think of the dead trees
to be recycled this way;
and of the customers on this planet;
and you wonder if anyone will be left
to build you a blue coffin.
There's some hihgly accomplished writing here. Nigel.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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Oh, thank you, Nigel, for your generous, six star review of "some highly accomplished writing here." I am glad you noticed the "sweat on this winter's day." It is a subtle, sticky, and tactile acknowledgement of global warming. Thank you for your review.
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My pleasure. Nigel.
Comment from RGstar
Good point, yet, I am afraid ware seeing the part of the evolution of our species and the attributes to it. Man contributes , as rightly said, much to the Global warming, yet even though pessimistic, it cannot be stopped. The planet is warming whilst the solar output could be seen as slightly decreased. The sun is key, and we are just specs that are a dot in this universe, here on borrowed time, so whilst we destroy so much, know that we are powerless to stop mother nature in whichever way she seems fit. We must learn to live with nature, nurture and groom...the way we would in our own grooming. Unfortunately, some do not even groom themselves so how then would all those that have or in charge of the resources to groom the land,groom it?
We and many generations after us are in for a long ride and how we see earth now will not be through similar eyes in a thousand years from now.
Good write.
I like the way you go through stages here,fine combing different areas to cement your theme. Some of the actions were a bit diverse from each other, but on the whole, nicely poetic.
Have a great day...while we still can.
RGstar
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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Good point, yet, I am afraid ware seeing the part of the evolution of our species and the attributes to it. Man contributes , as rightly said, much to the Global warming, yet even though pessimistic, it cannot be stopped. The planet is warming whilst the solar output could be seen as slightly decreased. The sun is key, and we are just specs that are a dot in this universe, here on borrowed time, so whilst we destroy so much, know that we are powerless to stop mother nature in whichever way she seems fit. We must learn to live with nature, nurture and groom...the way we would in our own grooming. Unfortunately, some do not even groom themselves so how then would all those that have or in charge of the resources to groom the land,groom it?
We and many generations after us are in for a long ride and how we see earth now will not be through similar eyes in a thousand years from now.
Good write.
I like the way you go through stages here,fine combing different areas to cement your theme. Some of the actions were a bit diverse from each other, but on the whole, nicely poetic.
Have a great day...while we still can.
RGstar
Comment Written 31-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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Thank you, RGstar, for your fine review and detailed thoughts about Global Warming. Mother Nature is going to do what she is going to do. Either we adapt or die. Thanks for your review.
