Blue Coffin
Brown burial in blue box.98 total reviews
Comment from William Ross
bery good a great free verse poem on the bark beetle taking over our forests, It seems a problem man seems not so worried about Great write thanks for sharing the message, have a great day
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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bery good a great free verse poem on the bark beetle taking over our forests, It seems a problem man seems not so worried about Great write thanks for sharing the message, have a great day
Comment Written 29-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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Thank you, William, for your review. People are worried about the bark beetles killing our forests. Reviewers in Canada, Spain, England, and throughout America in Arizona, Illinois, Nebraska, and Arizona told me that beetles are killing their trees.
Comment from Dean Kuch
NaturesCasket.com...anything to make a buck, right, Andre?
every evergreen now everbrown..........Very telling line here, Andre.
Everbrown" trees, be they pine or otherwise, produce no oxygen for our air...
"And you think of the dead trees
to be recycled this way;
and of the customers on this planet;
and you wonder if anyone will be left
to build you a blue coffin."............You close this frightening poem with an strong apocalyptic implication. Either man finds a way to destroy the Bark Beetle infestation, or we just might become fodder for their food eventually as well...
~Dean
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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NaturesCasket.com...anything to make a buck, right, Andre?
every evergreen now everbrown..........Very telling line here, Andre.
Everbrown" trees, be they pine or otherwise, produce no oxygen for our air...
"And you think of the dead trees
to be recycled this way;
and of the customers on this planet;
and you wonder if anyone will be left
to build you a blue coffin."............You close this frightening poem with an strong apocalyptic implication. Either man finds a way to destroy the Bark Beetle infestation, or we just might become fodder for their food eventually as well...
~Dean
Comment Written 29-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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Yes, Dean, anything to make a buck. As soon as I saw that blue coffin, I got an idea. Reviewers in Spain, England, Canada, Illinois, Arizona, and Nebraska told be that bark beetles are killing their trees. The Apocalypse is here. Thanks for your review.
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It's always a pleasure, Andre. You are more than welcome.
Comment from honeytree
Really interesting art work
for these words written.
I wonder if these beetles can be stopped
It is cruel what is happening to these trees.
Fantastic words written here.
I have no six.
Honey tree.
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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Really interesting art work
for these words written.
I wonder if these beetles can be stopped
It is cruel what is happening to these trees.
Fantastic words written here.
I have no six.
Honey tree.
Comment Written 29-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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Honey Tree, in Illinois alone, the authorities gave up fighting the emerald ash borer because the infestation is widespread. Reviewers in Spain, Canada, England, and US told me that authorities are cutting and burning dead trees. Thanks for your review.
Comment from jusylee72
So heartfelt and true. I love that you care so much. I felt it was well written and got the point across very well. I too worry about our world. Thank you so much for writing .
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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So heartfelt and true. I love that you care so much. I felt it was well written and got the point across very well. I too worry about our world. Thank you so much for writing .
Comment Written 29-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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Thank you, jusylee72, for reviewing my work. I am glad I shared my "heartfelt and true" poem with you.
Comment from VictoriaG
I like poems that I can learn something from-this is one of those poems. I learned about bark beetles and that they leave blue fungus on the trees. I didn't like that you then had to explain the poem to me in the paragraph below. A poem (or any writing) should be able to stand on its own without the author explaining "What I meant by that was...."
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2016
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I like poems that I can learn something from-this is one of those poems. I learned about bark beetles and that they leave blue fungus on the trees. I didn't like that you then had to explain the poem to me in the paragraph below. A poem (or any writing) should be able to stand on its own without the author explaining "What I meant by that was...."
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2016
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Thank you, VictoriaG, for your review and comments.
Comment from marzipan
I loved the rhythm of this poem and I could hear it being read aloud. Thanks for speaking up for the forests. Your description of the background to the poem made me go back and read it again. My senses are involved and I can imagine being present amongst those trees. Thanks for sharing. The personal touch grounded me at the end re the question around mortality. It reminds me of the link between the death of a forest and the death of humans - a good metaphor and link.
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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I loved the rhythm of this poem and I could hear it being read aloud. Thanks for speaking up for the forests. Your description of the background to the poem made me go back and read it again. My senses are involved and I can imagine being present amongst those trees. Thanks for sharing. The personal touch grounded me at the end re the question around mortality. It reminds me of the link between the death of a forest and the death of humans - a good metaphor and link.
Comment Written 29-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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Yes, marzipan, other reviewers have remarked that " I could hear (the poem) being read aloud." My background as a storyteller on stage influenced me. I used a lot of repetition, i.e. "You first notice," "You next notice," "You then notice," "the scent of pine," and "the songs of birds." This creates rhythm. I involved the reader's senses and used the "you" pronoun. I am glad you saw "the link between the death of a forest and the death of humans." Thanks for your review.
Comment from Lancer1979
Thank you for sharing this poem, and enlightening me about the plight of the forests. I live in Southern California, near San Diego, and we've only gotten small amounts of rain that aren't even helping to rid our state of the drought as I'm sure you're well aware. I long for the days of green lawns, beautiful gardens, butterflies, and hummingbirds.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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Thank you for sharing this poem, and enlightening me about the plight of the forests. I live in Southern California, near San Diego, and we've only gotten small amounts of rain that aren't even helping to rid our state of the drought as I'm sure you're well aware. I long for the days of green lawns, beautiful gardens, butterflies, and hummingbirds.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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I live in Northern California near San Francisco. While we had more rain this year, it is still not enough to make up for five years of drought. I am glad you found my poem enlightening. Thank you for your review.
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You're welcome. A few sprinkles this morning. :)
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You're welcome! :D
Comment from lightink
Andre, I LOVE how you engage all the senses and make a dramatic statement with your poem. I'm still stunned that this is a true story!
I did a rather thorough review earlier but there are a few lines that popped out to me right now, as especially brilliant - and I'm not certain that I highlighted them earlier:
"just the crackle and crunch of needles
and branches beneath your feet. "
This sounds so good when read aloud with its C alliteration and CH consonance! You made this very hearable! :)
Also, the new version:
"every evergreen now everbrown" is very special!
I LOVE this.
While I was certain after giving a six star to all 14 sonnets that I would not do this with the further sections of the book - I can't withhold those. I am giving all free verses a sixer because they are all amazing.
I'm very pleased with the end results.
Thank you so much for providing this exceptional poem, and for the active participation in the forum discussions!
It meant a lot to me!
It was a joy to have you on the team!
Warmly,
Jyoti
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2016
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Andre, I LOVE how you engage all the senses and make a dramatic statement with your poem. I'm still stunned that this is a true story!
I did a rather thorough review earlier but there are a few lines that popped out to me right now, as especially brilliant - and I'm not certain that I highlighted them earlier:
"just the crackle and crunch of needles
and branches beneath your feet. "
This sounds so good when read aloud with its C alliteration and CH consonance! You made this very hearable! :)
Also, the new version:
"every evergreen now everbrown" is very special!
I LOVE this.
While I was certain after giving a six star to all 14 sonnets that I would not do this with the further sections of the book - I can't withhold those. I am giving all free verses a sixer because they are all amazing.
I'm very pleased with the end results.
Thank you so much for providing this exceptional poem, and for the active participation in the forum discussions!
It meant a lot to me!
It was a joy to have you on the team!
Warmly,
Jyoti
Comment Written 29-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2016
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Jyoti, thank you for your joyous, six star review, for selecting me to be on this team, and for nurturing my poem along with edits in the workshop. I surprised myself with this poem in which I took dictations from the earth. Thank you for taking on this cause with creativity and passion.
