Comment from Kaydoe

Excellent

A lovely written poem and sounds good to me. I am rather new at poetry and never wrote a Rondeau poem before, so I may have to leave that to others to give you an in-depth critic on this style. Picture went nicely with the poem.

 Comment Written 29-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 30-Mar-2016

Hi Kaydoe. and welcome to FS you will love it and I do so appreciate you lovely review of my poem and you don't have to be an expert to give an opinion I am far from one and I just review as I see it. So Thank you very much for your time to read and review my work. Many Cheers Christine

Comment from lightink

Excellent

This is a lovely poem, and I so much share the sentiment...
This is my dream, too, indeed.

I think it's a well written rondeau - probably the punctuation could be a little different. Also, it might be a matter of taste, but I prefer to stay away from reversed word order.
So, my suggestion would be:
"I so much wish I could create
a life of peace - no signs of hate"
What do you think?

The poem itself is very good though!
Warmly,
J

 Comment Written 28-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 30-Mar-2016

Hi J and thanks so much for your input to my poem and I appreciate you suggestions and will try to learn a little more about 'reversed word order' so next time it may be better. I wanted to stay with 'I wish I could' though for time being bit will take you advice on board sp thanks for that Many Cheers to you And thanks for your support Christine😀

Comment from royowen

Excellent

A sweetly composed Rondeau. Christine, the theme is great the work immaculate and you and I agree, wouldn't it be great to do this, unfortunately free will abounds, and people think it's good to be a rebel. Beautifully composed and crafted, the delivery is excellent, and the narratively wonderful, well done, blessings, Roy

 Comment Written 28-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 30-Mar-2016

Hi Roy I am so pleased you thought this beautifully composed that means a lot as I tried to get the right words to fit my message so Thanks so much and I always look forward to your comments. If only it could be this simple but there is still so much beauty and love we must always look at the good. Many Cheers to you Christine😀

reply by royowen on 30-Mar-2016

Always my pleasure

Comment from fastdigits

Excellent

A beautiful scripted story that
is told in rhyming mastery as
it artistically gently falls down
the page in silken words woven
in warmth.
Well done

 Comment Written 28-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 30-Mar-2016

Hi fastdigits, What a lovely review so thanks a lot for your time to read and give me feedback it is much appreciated and your words are also beautifully written . Cheers to you and have a great day Christine😀

Comment from William Ross

Excellent

i think it worked out very well for you on your first attempt. great rhyme wonderful rhythm and read. something I think we wish we all could have, Peace.

 Comment Written 28-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 28-Mar-2016

Thanls William. I always enjoy hearing from you and thanks for your lovely comments and support. If only it could be this simple. Hope you had a lovely Easter and many Cheers go your way Christine😀

Comment from robyn corum

Excellent

Chrissy,

I'm so happy to think I might have had ANYTHING to do with this sweet piece of poetry! *smile* Joy will be tickled too!

I love the message of hope and a love that conquers all. Great job!

Favorite lines:
Fill every heart with love abound. I wish I could

 Comment Written 28-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 28-Mar-2016

Hi Robyn, Thanks so much for the idea to try this and for your lovely comments. I pondered a while with a theme and this came up. Hope you and yours had a lovely Easter . Cheers Christine😀smile

Comment from Joy Graham

Excellent

You have composed a lovely rondeau :)

- nice repeating line.lately I have tried to include the repeating phrase in the rhyme scheme. It's not a requirement of the form, just an extra special touch I've been experimenting with.

- you chose two sensible rhymes. The trick with the rondeau is to choose two rhymes that have plenty of options. There's nothing worse than running out of rhyme words that fit with the topic. You don't have that issue here at all.

- nice iambic tetrameter throughout. I keep going back to line 5.

- "Just start again with a clean slate" - the meter is off here. You could say, "just start again, erase the slate" or, "just start again clean off the slate".

I'm happy you took part in the Easter weekend rondeau marathon. It was a lot of fun :)

 Comment Written 28-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 28-Mar-2016

Hi Joy. I am very happy with your lovely comments and Thank you for the challenge. As soon as I saw Robyn's poem I thought How nice and thought I would give it a try. And I have taken up your suggestion for line 5 and made a change. It is always nice to have some help and I do like to get things right. Hope you and yours had a nice Easter . With Many Cheers Christine😀smile

Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin

Excellent

Hi, Christine

= Looks good to me ... I'm not versed on this format, but I really like the message in your Rondeau.
= Nice flow, making for an easy read.
= Beautiful pairing of artwork with this as well.

A Smile Is A Frown Turned Upside Down (*_*)
Jacqueline (Jax) M Franklin

 Comment Written 28-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 28-Mar-2016

Hi Jacqueline, Always lovely to hear from you. I do hope you and yours had a lovely Easter break. I went camping with my husband and son and friends and upon return found this challenge form Robyn and Joy and thought I would give it a try. So Thanks for your read and review ( give it a try) Took me ages to find the right artwork so thanks for mentioning this. As always many Cheers and yes I am smiling 😀 Christine

Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose

Excellent

Hello, Chrissie,

I love your poem about an idyllic world where I would like to be. You did a great job with the challenge. Well done my friend.
Gypsy

 Comment Written 28-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 28-Mar-2016

Hi Gypsy. If only LOL would't it be nice to be able to change the world especially at the moment. Still one must look on the bright side and Try not to get bogged down in the negatives. I always enjoy hearing from you and hope you and yours had a lovely Easter with lots of Chockie Thanks for reading me Cheers Christinex😀

Comment from Dorothy Farrell

Excellent

Hi Chrissy - this is a lovely Rondeau in perfect form. Gorgeous accompanying picture. Your rhyme scheme is good and the repeated lines fall seamlessly into place and the whole is a good read. Well done - warm regards Dorothy x

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 28-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 28-Mar-2016

Hi Dorothy, Many thanks for reading and reviewing my First time Rondeau and I am pleased you liked the artwork as It took me ages to find one that I thought conveyed my feelings so Thanks so much for your lovely comments. I hope you and yours had a great Easter and send you many Cheers form me Christine😀smile

reply by Dorothy Farrell on 29-Mar-2016

Hi Chrissy - I know what you mean about taking so long to find a picture to suit your poem. I am the same - I spend ages. It's important, I think, because it's the first thing the reader sees and may be influenced by it. Your picture was perfect. Dorothy x

reply by the author on 30-Mar-2016

Yes I know what you mean. I think once the poem is written the right picture will just add that extra oomph Cheers so much Christine 😀