Karma
Strange encounter at a small Cafe.27 total reviews
Comment from damommy
I love this story. It was captivating.
I love the compassion in this story. Evan was trying to teach that to the others.
I hope there is more to come of this story. Will we ever see Evan again?
I'm a little confused about "Shelly" and "Sherry." Did I miss someone?
Great story. 8-)
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2016
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I love this story. It was captivating.
I love the compassion in this story. Evan was trying to teach that to the others.
I hope there is more to come of this story. Will we ever see Evan again?
I'm a little confused about "Shelly" and "Sherry." Did I miss someone?
Great story. 8-)
Comment Written 28-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2016
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Oops. I better go back and edit. I love that the people on this website see what I don't. You are a blessing. There is only one person Sherry. It I wrote Shelly then that is a typo.
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Thank you. 8-)
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Thank you. 8-)
Comment from DonandVicki
It sounds like there may be a continuation to this story as the woman is going to have her baby, probally in the cafe in the midst of the storm. The story kept me entertained.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2016
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It sounds like there may be a continuation to this story as the woman is going to have her baby, probally in the cafe in the midst of the storm. The story kept me entertained.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2016
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Yes, it could. I just want to see all of them change.
Comment from Phoenix Rysing
What a great and mysterious contest entry. I think you've done a great job here, and would love to read a continuation of the baby being born and how things changed. Very well done. Wouldn't change a single thing.
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2016
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What a great and mysterious contest entry. I think you've done a great job here, and would love to read a continuation of the baby being born and how things changed. Very well done. Wouldn't change a single thing.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2016
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Wow, thank you. I rewrote it about six times with the help of my fan story friends. I truly am learning . Thank you so much.
Comment from Word Junkie
Hello jusylee72,
This is an intriguing story with a fascinatinating plot twist. You have a great imagination and yoe should do well in the contest.
There eyes met in disbelief.
"There" should be 'their,' and I may have seen another instance where their was used for there.
I enjoyed this. Thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest.
Regards,
Lana
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2016
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Hello jusylee72,
This is an intriguing story with a fascinatinating plot twist. You have a great imagination and yoe should do well in the contest.
There eyes met in disbelief.
"There" should be 'their,' and I may have seen another instance where their was used for there.
I enjoyed this. Thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest.
Regards,
Lana
Comment Written 27-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2016
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Thank you so much, I immediately corrected the Their. Having other ears and eyes makes such a difference for a writer. You truly helped me. Thank you.
Comment from N.K. Wagner
People are a product of their training and experiences. Our philosophies may clash, but one hopes we can pyll together in times of need. Well done. :) Nancy
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2016
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People are a product of their training and experiences. Our philosophies may clash, but one hopes we can pyll together in times of need. Well done. :) Nancy
Comment Written 26-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2016
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Thank you so much I truly appreciate it.
Comment from Jim Lorson Sr
This is very entertaining with the interactions between Sherry, Max and Evan. Your dialogue between these three kept my interest throughout this excellent story. I had a suspicious feeling about Evan. That "He" was there for a reason. His presence created conversation, conflict and a telling of what God rewards us with. I like how you ended this story.
Very well thought out and written. Hope you and yours have a very Happy Easter.
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2016
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This is very entertaining with the interactions between Sherry, Max and Evan. Your dialogue between these three kept my interest throughout this excellent story. I had a suspicious feeling about Evan. That "He" was there for a reason. His presence created conversation, conflict and a telling of what God rewards us with. I like how you ended this story.
Very well thought out and written. Hope you and yours have a very Happy Easter.
Comment Written 26-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2016
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Thank you so much for the six stars. I truly rewrote this six times. It was worth it.
Comment from pegesusunicorn
You also have a very good heart. There was a moral to your story and a gentleness, even with the argument between Sherry and Max, but I think that was the gentleness I was feeling, Evan was the gentleness. Bringing light to meaning of tolerance and acceptance, A very good story and I could tell you enjoy writing, it shines into your stories.
Peg
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2016
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You also have a very good heart. There was a moral to your story and a gentleness, even with the argument between Sherry and Max, but I think that was the gentleness I was feeling, Evan was the gentleness. Bringing light to meaning of tolerance and acceptance, A very good story and I could tell you enjoy writing, it shines into your stories.
Peg
Comment Written 26-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2016
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What a heart felt review. You made my day. You get it. Thank you so much
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you are welcome
Peg
Comment from Nika2016
This is excellent. The plot is good...the characters real...and I was in the restaurant. Up until..the change..Evan was just a man. It leaves the reader questioning ..angel? Alien ᤾?
..................
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2016
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This is excellent. The plot is good...the characters real...and I was in the restaurant. Up until..the change..Evan was just a man. It leaves the reader questioning ..angel? Alien ᤾?
..................
Comment Written 25-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2016
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Thank you so much. I enjoyed writing and re writing this. I got so many ideas from the Fan story world. It helps to make me better.
Comment from Jonesy
Interesting to write, huh? Well, pretty interesting to read too. I thought the contrast between the different characters was something that set this apart.
Really good job.
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2016
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Interesting to write, huh? Well, pretty interesting to read too. I thought the contrast between the different characters was something that set this apart.
Really good job.
Comment Written 25-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2016
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thank you so much. I need all the encouragement I can get. Thank you for reading it.
Comment from F. Wehr3
I thought this was a good story. A very creative entry for the contest. I found a few things for your consideration.
'Jeff, the owner of the Cafe and Max had been friends since childhood.' You have a subordinate clause. Use offsetting commas after Jeff and after cafe (which should not be capitalized).
"Fate, destiny. What goes around comes around." now Sherry was talking,' My suggest would be turn this into a speech tag. Comma after around, Sherry said.
I was Baptized in the blood of the lamb and I know right from wrong.' Two complete sentences, use comma before and.
But Shelly's wanted to argue "Right?"' Period after argue. Sherry? and no possessive needed.
"There's three of us Jeff." Max stated the obvious. Comma before Jeff and after Jeff
"Did you get struck by lighting Max? I see only two." Comma before Max.
Overall, very good story.
Take care,
Russell
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2016
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I thought this was a good story. A very creative entry for the contest. I found a few things for your consideration.
'Jeff, the owner of the Cafe and Max had been friends since childhood.' You have a subordinate clause. Use offsetting commas after Jeff and after cafe (which should not be capitalized).
"Fate, destiny. What goes around comes around." now Sherry was talking,' My suggest would be turn this into a speech tag. Comma after around, Sherry said.
I was Baptized in the blood of the lamb and I know right from wrong.' Two complete sentences, use comma before and.
But Shelly's wanted to argue "Right?"' Period after argue. Sherry? and no possessive needed.
"There's three of us Jeff." Max stated the obvious. Comma before Jeff and after Jeff
"Did you get struck by lighting Max? I see only two." Comma before Max.
Overall, very good story.
Take care,
Russell
Comment Written 25-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2016
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You have no idea how I appreciate your review. I obviously do not know punctuation well. I will edit accordingly. Thank you for the review. I hope you will edit other thing I have written. I am definitely learning.
