Little Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 388 "Sin"Small and Specialty Poems
10 total reviews
Comment from Pantygynt
Touche! I have been outpied. Creative use of zero and I will certainly forgive your accusative I. I parts of the English west country the accusative ! is well established in common parlance as well as poetry and song "Don't tell I, tell 'ee" being a song title that a recall.
Given the artwork I was looking for "incubus" (8) and must confess to being disappointed at not finding it. Nevertheless I congratulate you on a fine feat of mathematical poetry, or should that be of poetical mathematics?
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2016
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Touche! I have been outpied. Creative use of zero and I will certainly forgive your accusative I. I parts of the English west country the accusative ! is well established in common parlance as well as poetry and song "Don't tell I, tell 'ee" being a song title that a recall.
Given the artwork I was looking for "incubus" (8) and must confess to being disappointed at not finding it. Nevertheless I congratulate you on a fine feat of mathematical poetry, or should that be of poetical mathematics?
Comment Written 17-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2016
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Thank you Pantygynt. I certainly thought about using Incubus here, and actually used that as a querie to find an image, but wasn't satisfied with any image. I also didn't want to be focused necessarily on sexual sin. Finally, as you likely know, you are very much driven by where the numbers take you, and I didn't have an 8 where it fit and/or sounded right.
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I know exactly what you mean. The numbers are a hard taskmaster.
Comment from Dean Kuch
Every time a bell rings
an angel gets it's wings,
so too do demons dance,
they merrily sing,
should mortals
give them the chance.
This was absolutely an amazing story, Tom, all centered around pi. How intriguing.
Dark entities need but only a tiny crack, a chink in the armor, so to speak, to gain
entry. That's why I adhere to that old tried, but true saying:
Keep you friends close, but keep your enemies closer still.
It's important to know your adversaries--what you're up against. Any good field general will tell you to know your enemy and their tactics is to know that you enter into battle with a fighting chance of winning.
Great form, this Piem...
~Dean
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2016
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Every time a bell rings
an angel gets it's wings,
so too do demons dance,
they merrily sing,
should mortals
give them the chance.
This was absolutely an amazing story, Tom, all centered around pi. How intriguing.
Dark entities need but only a tiny crack, a chink in the armor, so to speak, to gain
entry. That's why I adhere to that old tried, but true saying:
Keep you friends close, but keep your enemies closer still.
It's important to know your adversaries--what you're up against. Any good field general will tell you to know your enemy and their tactics is to know that you enter into battle with a fighting chance of winning.
Great form, this Piem...
~Dean
Comment Written 17-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2016
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Thank you Dean. For a wonderful review and sound advice.
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Anytime, Tom.
~Dean
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Anytime, Tom.
~Dean
Comment from Joan E.
I read my first Piem yesterday with Pantygynt's post for I am Cat's birthday and found it challenging. You met the challenge and created a cohesive story. Cheers- Joan
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2016
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I read my first Piem yesterday with Pantygynt's post for I am Cat's birthday and found it challenging. You met the challenge and created a cohesive story. Cheers- Joan
Comment Written 17-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2016
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Thank you Joan, it was quite a project. Had my nose buried in the dictionary for hours, thank God for electronics.
Comment from His Grayness
Thanks for the "genius at work" here....offering a very rare and complex lesson of poetic structure to all of us in the dusty rooms of commonality! This work is worthy of deep consideration and possible application. I shall do my best! Thanks for the brain gifts! HIS GRAYNESS: Vance
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2016
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Thanks for the "genius at work" here....offering a very rare and complex lesson of poetic structure to all of us in the dusty rooms of commonality! This work is worthy of deep consideration and possible application. I shall do my best! Thanks for the brain gifts! HIS GRAYNESS: Vance
Comment Written 16-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2016
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Thank you, Vance. You are far from common, but I appreciate the compliment.
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Dear Treischel: sincere and genuine thanks for your genius, your guidance, and your obvious compassion for the masses of us who reach for enlightenment and grasp with sweaty and bloody fingers to the reigns of WISDOM. Blessings dear one! Vance
Comment from Kaydoe
This is a very unique complex poem. I understand the words and it's expressed well but I am confused about Pi. Math was not my strong point and this is, as they say "Greek to me!" Thanks for sharing. I think you must have a very high IQ.
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2016
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This is a very unique complex poem. I understand the words and it's expressed well but I am confused about Pi. Math was not my strong point and this is, as they say "Greek to me!" Thanks for sharing. I think you must have a very high IQ.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2016
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Thank you Kaydoe. Good Pi joke, the is definitely Greek.
Comment from flylikeaneagle
Treschel: amazing alleluia! While you were writing this poem, I was in Fargo with my Mom. The news reporters were showing off pies that the chefs baked, yes, pies. Different tasty pies with extra whipped cream. We have different ideas of fun. They even celebrated St Patrick's day early. Mom and i watched the state basketball. Our team got second - Jackson. Saw this on the cable. So we did different things on pie day. I think your poem is so clever with the words matching the numbers. You are very creative and the photo is funny. flylikeaneagle
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2016
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Treschel: amazing alleluia! While you were writing this poem, I was in Fargo with my Mom. The news reporters were showing off pies that the chefs baked, yes, pies. Different tasty pies with extra whipped cream. We have different ideas of fun. They even celebrated St Patrick's day early. Mom and i watched the state basketball. Our team got second - Jackson. Saw this on the cable. So we did different things on pie day. I think your poem is so clever with the words matching the numbers. You are very creative and the photo is funny. flylikeaneagle
Comment Written 16-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2016
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Thank you flylikeaneagle, I like your pies better than my Pi.
Comment from tfawcus
Your versatility and ability to ferret out new forms never ceases to amaze me. This looks as if it would stretch the most nimble members of the mind gym! Of course, you and Jim are fitter than most of us in that respect!
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2016
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Your versatility and ability to ferret out new forms never ceases to amaze me. This looks as if it would stretch the most nimble members of the mind gym! Of course, you and Jim are fitter than most of us in that respect!
Comment Written 16-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2016
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Thank you Tony. You don't do so bad yourself, my friend. I appreciate the compliment.
Comment from foxangie123
You are something else when it comes down to creativity. A real teacher I feel like. I have learned so much from you indeed. This is another great example.
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2016
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You are something else when it comes down to creativity. A real teacher I feel like. I have learned so much from you indeed. This is another great example.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2016
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Thank you foxangie. I am pleased, if you learn something. That's way I always include notes.
Comment from ciliverde
Dang it, I SO want to give you a six for this, Tom - it is fantastic. While not a huge fan of the 'piem', I just approached it as I would a free verse poem. It is just amazing; sorry, I'm having a hard time penning intelligent comments here.
"So, listless flounder that I represent,
showing a torpid spiritual ego unguarded,
demonized net entraps numb I." - this is just so beautifully worded, and your torpid spiritual ego demonstrates that spiritual laziness, lack of attention to self and to "goodness" allows the entrapment of the demon. Dante would be proud!
Unknowing victim's soul committed from Hell,
after victories of sin.
"Whisper, alleluia!" a fiend says. - I'm still sorting through the meaning of this somewhat. The soul somehow seems to be a hapless accomplice to the sins, egged on by the demons. Is that right?
The final urging of that fiend just sends a chill up my spine. I'd better look to my soul's business!
Carol
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2016
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Dang it, I SO want to give you a six for this, Tom - it is fantastic. While not a huge fan of the 'piem', I just approached it as I would a free verse poem. It is just amazing; sorry, I'm having a hard time penning intelligent comments here.
"So, listless flounder that I represent,
showing a torpid spiritual ego unguarded,
demonized net entraps numb I." - this is just so beautifully worded, and your torpid spiritual ego demonstrates that spiritual laziness, lack of attention to self and to "goodness" allows the entrapment of the demon. Dante would be proud!
Unknowing victim's soul committed from Hell,
after victories of sin.
"Whisper, alleluia!" a fiend says. - I'm still sorting through the meaning of this somewhat. The soul somehow seems to be a hapless accomplice to the sins, egged on by the demons. Is that right?
The final urging of that fiend just sends a chill up my spine. I'd better look to my soul's business!
Carol
Comment Written 16-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2016
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Thank you Carol. Notice that I didn't say committed "to" Hell, just "from" Hell, my meaning here is that evil is controlling this, so as we sin, it is a victory they celebrate.
I really appreciate your insight into this. BTW, I noticed that "fiend" has only 5 letters, so I had to change it to "spirit"
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Oh no! I loved the fiend. And thanks for the explanation, that was my other thought. Great poem!
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
An interesting poem (poem) and I think a lot of head scratching to find the best fitting words to make up a sensible story. The demons surely try their best eadoecially on a Sunday morning. Lol.
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2016
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An interesting poem (poem) and I think a lot of head scratching to find the best fitting words to make up a sensible story. The demons surely try their best eadoecially on a Sunday morning. Lol.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2016
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Thank you Sandra. Yes. I took a lot of effort. Maybe more than it's worth. But, then again, it was a challenge.
