Memories of the Good Old Days
A short talk56 total reviews
Comment from jessizero
This was a sweet, well-written encounter. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. It reminded me of my own grandmother who used to hang up clothes. Thank you for reviving this post, and best wishes to you.
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2023
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This was a sweet, well-written encounter. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. It reminded me of my own grandmother who used to hang up clothes. Thank you for reviving this post, and best wishes to you.
Comment Written 26-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2023
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Hanging clothes is pretty much a thing of the past.
Thanks Jessi for reading.
Kohn
Comment from Bill O'Bier
I enjoyed your story very much. The descriptive language flowed well. The artwork was great for the theme of the story.
Thanks so much for sharing
Bill
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2016
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I enjoyed your story very much. The descriptive language flowed well. The artwork was great for the theme of the story.
Thanks so much for sharing
Bill
Comment Written 13-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2016
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Bill, thank you for taking the time to read and share. John
Comment from krprice
Try to avoid heard, felt, smelled, and saw. Rewrite sentences without using it.
"What is that?" I asked.
Delete unnecessary 'that'.
"My daughter's house. . .
Excellent post. I remember hanging clothes on the line with wooden clothespins before we got a dryer.
Karlene
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2016
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Try to avoid heard, felt, smelled, and saw. Rewrite sentences without using it.
"What is that?" I asked.
Delete unnecessary 'that'.
"My daughter's house. . .
Excellent post. I remember hanging clothes on the line with wooden clothespins before we got a dryer.
Karlene
Comment Written 13-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2016
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I'll look at the suggestions. Thank you very much. John
Comment from lindafisher
I love a little bit of nostalgia. You have certainly brought back some wonderful memories of my mother hanging out her washing. A very heartwarming story. Thank you.
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2016
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I love a little bit of nostalgia. You have certainly brought back some wonderful memories of my mother hanging out her washing. A very heartwarming story. Thank you.
Comment Written 13-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2016
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Linda, thank you for stopping over. John
Comment from IndianaIrish
John, this is such a delightful memoir not the past, and I'm sure many readers can relate to clothes drying on the outside clothesline. Gosh, they sure smelled good...especially the sheets and blankets. My Gram did the wash every Monday, and I would love to help her. Enjoyed your story and thanks for stirring my memories, too.
I've always thought you wanted to be alerted to any SPaG and receive any suggestions and help with your writing. Do you still, John? I give you a five-star rating in the belief you would correct any errors, but I've noticed you don't. Normally, I would give a four-star rating and tell the writer to let me know when corrections were made so I can upgrade the rating. I love helping writers...especially my favorite writers...but reviewing takes time and if you'd rather not be alerted to needed corrections, please just tell me, John, okay? I'd be happy to read and comment on the topic only if that's what you prefer.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
A few years back(,) I entered a 5K running event hosted in a town adjacent to where I grew up. On the day of the event(,) I left early enough (both are dependant introductory clauses that depends on the independant clause that follows. Dependant doesn't have both subject and verb and the independant one does. Dependant clauses need a comma before the independant. If clause can be read as a complete sentence, a comma is needed after the intro clause)
Off in the distance(,) I heard a faint, familiar sound.
It [almost] sounded like the chirp of a tiny bird in the spring. But now that Summer(summer. Seasons aren't proper names) was
[Then] I heard it again.
[There] (S)standing on a back porch of a house was an older woman hanging clothes. The sound that echoed through my mind was [that of] a clothes line(clothesline) on two pulleys.
The house was on the corner(,) and I casually walked
"My daughters (daughter's It needs an apostrophe to show ownership)house."
As I approached your daughters house(, prepositional phrases longer than 4-5 words need a comma)
Then I saw you hanging your clothes on the clothes line(clothesline)
I can still picture the clothes pin(clothespin) holder she had. It looked like a small apron. It would rip, she'd sew it. If it ripped again(,) she'd sew it again, and again."
Why do you still use the clothes line(clothesline)?
gentle manor(manner) and well(-)rooted up-bringing(upbringing)as she continued.
What better way then(than) with clothes hung outside for all to see and cleansed by the light of the sun.(?)"
She paused for a moment, looked toward the sun and [then] started to laugh
With only two people talking, speech tags don't need to be used very often as it's easy to follow the conversation and who's doing the talking. You could probably delete some and make the story tighter.
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2016
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John, this is such a delightful memoir not the past, and I'm sure many readers can relate to clothes drying on the outside clothesline. Gosh, they sure smelled good...especially the sheets and blankets. My Gram did the wash every Monday, and I would love to help her. Enjoyed your story and thanks for stirring my memories, too.
I've always thought you wanted to be alerted to any SPaG and receive any suggestions and help with your writing. Do you still, John? I give you a five-star rating in the belief you would correct any errors, but I've noticed you don't. Normally, I would give a four-star rating and tell the writer to let me know when corrections were made so I can upgrade the rating. I love helping writers...especially my favorite writers...but reviewing takes time and if you'd rather not be alerted to needed corrections, please just tell me, John, okay? I'd be happy to read and comment on the topic only if that's what you prefer.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
A few years back(,) I entered a 5K running event hosted in a town adjacent to where I grew up. On the day of the event(,) I left early enough (both are dependant introductory clauses that depends on the independant clause that follows. Dependant doesn't have both subject and verb and the independant one does. Dependant clauses need a comma before the independant. If clause can be read as a complete sentence, a comma is needed after the intro clause)
Off in the distance(,) I heard a faint, familiar sound.
It [almost] sounded like the chirp of a tiny bird in the spring. But now that Summer(summer. Seasons aren't proper names) was
[Then] I heard it again.
[There] (S)standing on a back porch of a house was an older woman hanging clothes. The sound that echoed through my mind was [that of] a clothes line(clothesline) on two pulleys.
The house was on the corner(,) and I casually walked
"My daughters (daughter's It needs an apostrophe to show ownership)house."
As I approached your daughters house(, prepositional phrases longer than 4-5 words need a comma)
Then I saw you hanging your clothes on the clothes line(clothesline)
I can still picture the clothes pin(clothespin) holder she had. It looked like a small apron. It would rip, she'd sew it. If it ripped again(,) she'd sew it again, and again."
Why do you still use the clothes line(clothesline)?
gentle manor(manner) and well(-)rooted up-bringing(upbringing)as she continued.
What better way then(than) with clothes hung outside for all to see and cleansed by the light of the sun.(?)"
She paused for a moment, looked toward the sun and [then] started to laugh
With only two people talking, speech tags don't need to be used very often as it's easy to follow the conversation and who's doing the talking. You could probably delete some and make the story tighter.
Comment Written 12-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2016
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Karyn, I most certainly accept your reviews and corrections (I can't believe this one had hundreds of them, it's like I'm not learning squat!).
I copy your review and have them saved and I go back and look at them. I don't always make the changes physically but I do read with them side by side.
I'll leave it up to you how you want to do it. I'm getting discouraged at my lack of progress.
Hope all is better with you. John
Comment from Mabaker
Hi jmdg1954, I've not read you before. I enjoyed your stroll down memory lane to a degree, I thought it would be a good thing to revisit the town I had lived my childhood in. I found the street and what remained of our house. I was so disappointed. The only thing left was rubble and a toilet bowl. The house I had loved reduced to a toilet bowl!
Regards Mabaker
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2016
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Hi jmdg1954, I've not read you before. I enjoyed your stroll down memory lane to a degree, I thought it would be a good thing to revisit the town I had lived my childhood in. I found the street and what remained of our house. I was so disappointed. The only thing left was rubble and a toilet bowl. The house I had loved reduced to a toilet bowl!
Regards Mabaker
Comment Written 12-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2016
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Ma, I don't know if your review is serious or meant to be comical. Either way, thank you for the review. John
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No it was true
Comment from Jumbo J
Hi John,
what a pleasant little read... the moments that allow our memories to retrace its course... it's nearly like being in the comfort of one's home... but not the place, rather, the feeling of... and it doesn't have to be a big, or a pronounced feeling to take one back within the blink of an eyelid... I loved the read my Brother... well done, really happy and glad you are back writing a few little things... always make a little spare time for your talent (Your Writing) to flourish!... Yes, I know, I should be giving that advice? But the truth is, I miss your stories.
With our thoughts we create,
a taste of yesterday,
James.
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2016
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Hi John,
what a pleasant little read... the moments that allow our memories to retrace its course... it's nearly like being in the comfort of one's home... but not the place, rather, the feeling of... and it doesn't have to be a big, or a pronounced feeling to take one back within the blink of an eyelid... I loved the read my Brother... well done, really happy and glad you are back writing a few little things... always make a little spare time for your talent (Your Writing) to flourish!... Yes, I know, I should be giving that advice? But the truth is, I miss your stories.
With our thoughts we create,
a taste of yesterday,
James.
Comment Written 12-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2016
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James, thank you brother for reading and sharing. It's always a pleasure to hear from you.
I hope you have a great Sunday visiting your Mum.
Take care brother. John
Comment from mermaids
Hanging laundry on the line is energy saving and good for the environment. My mother use to do it when I was growing up. It would be great to return to a more ecological way to do laundry.
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2016
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Hanging laundry on the line is energy saving and good for the environment. My mother use to do it when I was growing up. It would be great to return to a more ecological way to do laundry.
Comment Written 12-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2016
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Thank you for stopping over and sharing.
John
Comment from Marykelly
This is a well told story of a visit to the past. The sound of the squeaky pulley brings back memories for you and those memories are realistic because they involve so many of the senses that hanging clothes on a clothesline involves and you describe the action very well. Seeing the old woman is just a brief encounter but your meeting with her is layered with memories that give a nice depth to your story.
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2016
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This is a well told story of a visit to the past. The sound of the squeaky pulley brings back memories for you and those memories are realistic because they involve so many of the senses that hanging clothes on a clothesline involves and you describe the action very well. Seeing the old woman is just a brief encounter but your meeting with her is layered with memories that give a nice depth to your story.
Comment Written 12-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2016
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Thank you for stopping over to read and share your thoughts. Always appreciated. John
Comment from Ric Myworld
Now this is one of those little stories that will bring back memories for many. I could even smell the clean, fresh sheets after they had whipped in the wind on the clothesline as I read. How we used the clothes pins to attach cards to the spokes for our bicycles to make them rumble like they were motorized. Peeking between sheets to watch the glistening, half-naked bodies of two sisters lying out in the backyard butted up to ours, their browned sun-kissed skin smothered in the tantalizing scents of cocoa butter and baby oil. "Thanks for the memories." Now that was a nice song, too. :-)
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2016
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Now this is one of those little stories that will bring back memories for many. I could even smell the clean, fresh sheets after they had whipped in the wind on the clothesline as I read. How we used the clothes pins to attach cards to the spokes for our bicycles to make them rumble like they were motorized. Peeking between sheets to watch the glistening, half-naked bodies of two sisters lying out in the backyard butted up to ours, their browned sun-kissed skin smothered in the tantalizing scents of cocoa butter and baby oil. "Thanks for the memories." Now that was a nice song, too. :-)
Comment Written 12-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2016
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I wonder how many Mickey Mantle cards we used no knowing what monetary value they would have years down the road.
Thank for reading and reminding me of those glistening bodies...
John
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I'm sure we wasted many. LOL! I had four huge, waist-high boxes passed down to me from an old man up the street for the lack of anyone else to give them to. I even had Babe Ruth, Ty Cobb, etc. There were numbers of Mickey Mantle and Roger Maris cards, of course I have no idea if they were rookie cards or not. Darn it! But I don't guess it would matter any way since my grandmother had Goodwill pick them up, along with about as many Beatles cards. Lucky me. :-)
