Little Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 384 "As River Flows to Ocean"Small and Specialty Poems
15 total reviews
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
Water is one of the most mistreated life sources. Polluting the rivers and dams with human waste leads to dangerous illness. I was affected six years ago with a parasite from drinking water which broke down my immune system and indirectly the cause of losing my left leg. My immune system was not able to fight the infection. It is all sorted out and are free from the parasite.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2016
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Water is one of the most mistreated life sources. Polluting the rivers and dams with human waste leads to dangerous illness. I was affected six years ago with a parasite from drinking water which broke down my immune system and indirectly the cause of losing my left leg. My immune system was not able to fight the infection. It is all sorted out and are free from the parasite.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2016
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Thank you Sandra. That is horrible. Thank you for sharing.
Comment from Pantygynt
This has a serious conservatory message underpinning the whole thing and yet it is approach in such a way that to my English ears is playful in the extreme. No English poet would think of rhyming like this:
into vital river currents,
as if local waters weren't
But I don't think you are joking. You don't usually joke about conservatory matters. Meanwhile just allow me to rejoice in the amazing differences that exist within our common language. I just love that rhyme but for all the wrong reasons I am sure.
Does the closing of the lock mean than navigation now stops at this point?
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2016
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This has a serious conservatory message underpinning the whole thing and yet it is approach in such a way that to my English ears is playful in the extreme. No English poet would think of rhyming like this:
into vital river currents,
as if local waters weren't
But I don't think you are joking. You don't usually joke about conservatory matters. Meanwhile just allow me to rejoice in the amazing differences that exist within our common language. I just love that rhyme but for all the wrong reasons I am sure.
Does the closing of the lock mean than navigation now stops at this point?
Comment Written 06-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2016
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Thank you Pantygynt. Yes, there is no travel up the river beyond this point, now.
Comment from William Ross
very nice great rhyming and rhythm a wonderful read and a great message to take care of of water. great job on this thanks for shring the message and have a great day.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2016
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very nice great rhyming and rhythm a wonderful read and a great message to take care of of water. great job on this thanks for shring the message and have a great day.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2016
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Thank you William.
Comment from lightink
I am so thrilled when someone is willing to speak up about these things!
I loved how you walked around both the sacredness and the human use of water before showing how it's spoiled by us! Then you end by warning us to preserve it!
Beautiful! Spoken from my soul!
Thank you!
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reply by the author on 06-Mar-2016
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I am so thrilled when someone is willing to speak up about these things!
I loved how you walked around both the sacredness and the human use of water before showing how it's spoiled by us! Then you end by warning us to preserve it!
Beautiful! Spoken from my soul!
Thank you!
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Comment Written 06-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2016
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Thank you Jyoti.i am please it touched you in that way.
Comment from I am Cat
Yeah, you could pretty much sing along to this, (the song) but, I kept having to sing the same verses over and over... with different words, there was no refrain because you kept the syllable count the same. So for me, since I know the song VERY well... it was a little disheartening once I go about 3/4 through it. LOL I was really to go to the chorus, you know? LOL
But anyway, it had the same beat, but it was so long, it just kept repeating the same tune...
my favorite parts were:
Even birds, who coast on air,
need pure liquid for their care.
If we want to keep our eagles,
flocks of geese, and even sea gulls,
then don't pollute the environments they take,
for heaven's sake,
as river flows ~ to ocean.
Fed by the rains of Heaven,
by melting snow, it's driven.
Without it, couldn't grow the trees,
or sustain our societies.
We'd be left with only burning desert sands,
across all lands,
no river then - or ocean.
Very well done, Tom... I think I would like it even better if I hadn't been such a huge fan of the song. ;)
Hugs
Cat
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reply by the author on 06-Mar-2016
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Yeah, you could pretty much sing along to this, (the song) but, I kept having to sing the same verses over and over... with different words, there was no refrain because you kept the syllable count the same. So for me, since I know the song VERY well... it was a little disheartening once I go about 3/4 through it. LOL I was really to go to the chorus, you know? LOL
But anyway, it had the same beat, but it was so long, it just kept repeating the same tune...
my favorite parts were:
Even birds, who coast on air,
need pure liquid for their care.
If we want to keep our eagles,
flocks of geese, and even sea gulls,
then don't pollute the environments they take,
for heaven's sake,
as river flows ~ to ocean.
Fed by the rains of Heaven,
by melting snow, it's driven.
Without it, couldn't grow the trees,
or sustain our societies.
We'd be left with only burning desert sands,
across all lands,
no river then - or ocean.
Very well done, Tom... I think I would like it even better if I hadn't been such a huge fan of the song. ;)
Hugs
Cat
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2016
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Thank you Cat. Maybe it got too long, hope you read Dean's his is awesome. Hmm. Maybe I'd be better off if I didn't mention the song,
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lol, I heard the song as soon as I started reading, but then... you know... I'm willing to bet Karen is a bit like me... in that repetitive things drive her mad? That's how I am... so the fact that it went on and on, it's a flaw in ME, not your work, seriously. When a song repeats over and over... it drives me mad... it's a 'thing' with people who are highly sensitive, I think. We react to smells, sounds, lights, anything out of balance for us.
you know? ;)
you probably know.
I'm willing to bet you do.
So I wouldn't use me as an indicator. Ok? ;)
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No, I think you have a point. I think the song prejudiced my poem. I think I'll just describe it as some water thoughts, kill all my notes and just say, thanks for reading my work.
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I hope I didn't mess up your whole idea, Tom... I think it's a great poem with some great thoughts, but I felt stuck in a loop, that's all.
;)
Hugs
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No problem, I appreciate your honesty. I took out the song references. People will love or hate it on its own merits. Hugs, and good night.
