I Am a Rock
Contest entry81 total reviews
Comment from beizanten
It is rather Interesting but I don't think I understand what it is about other than the tone of lonelyness and pain. It is hard to understand
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2016
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It is rather Interesting but I don't think I understand what it is about other than the tone of lonelyness and pain. It is hard to understand
Comment Written 05-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2016
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Oh, beizanten, I subverted the original lyrics by "using almost the same words to tell a quite different story," as one reviewer said. I am glad you understood "the tone of loneliness and pain." That was all this was about. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Kaydoe
I think you wrote a nice re-write Lyric poem. It sounded pretty good and I can imagine the song to go with these words. Good luck with the contest!
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2016
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I think you wrote a nice re-write Lyric poem. It sounded pretty good and I can imagine the song to go with these words. Good luck with the contest!
Comment Written 05-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2016
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Thank you, Kaydoe, for your review and contest well-wishes.
Comment from rama devi
I love Simon And Garfunkle and especially this song...and I love your positive spin on it in the first stanza. Well done. true to form for the contest. I could hear the music in the background in my mind while reading. I wonder how it would be if you wrote all stanzas as opposite...positive spins--like:
I've built walls
Out of tissue thin and fragile
That I let none penetrate.
I've built walls
Out of tissue thin and fragile
That I let friends penetrate.
Just a thought. I enjoyed the poignancy of this lonely voice feeling fragile and craving company rather than rejecting it.
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2016
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I love Simon And Garfunkle and especially this song...and I love your positive spin on it in the first stanza. Well done. true to form for the contest. I could hear the music in the background in my mind while reading. I wonder how it would be if you wrote all stanzas as opposite...positive spins--like:
I've built walls
Out of tissue thin and fragile
That I let none penetrate.
I've built walls
Out of tissue thin and fragile
That I let friends penetrate.
Just a thought. I enjoyed the poignancy of this lonely voice feeling fragile and craving company rather than rejecting it.
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 05-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2016
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Oh, thank you, rama devi, for your review and suggestions. I had fun writing this. Yes, I feel the "poignancy of this lonely voice."
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:-)))
Comment from Delahay
Dean Kuch ruined Sound of Silence for me with his rewrite. You have changed the meaning of this sound in a way. Your version is not happy with the status quo in being shut off from others.
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2016
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Dean Kuch ruined Sound of Silence for me with his rewrite. You have changed the meaning of this sound in a way. Your version is not happy with the status quo in being shut off from others.
Comment Written 05-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2016
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Yes, Delahay, my "version is not happy with the status quo in being shut off from others." Thank you for your review.
Comment from LIJ Red
An interesting inverted paraphrase of an old favorite song of mine,
so I have to pronounce this an excellent post. A well-written re-take...
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2016
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An interesting inverted paraphrase of an old favorite song of mine,
so I have to pronounce this an excellent post. A well-written re-take...
Comment Written 05-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2016
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Oh, thank you, LIJ Red, for your enthusiastic review and pronouncing "this an excellent post."
Comment from kiwisteveh
I can't help feeling that this is not what the organiser of the concert had in mind. You have stuck to close to the original, including many of the exact lines of Paul Simon's lyrics and it seems many of the end rhymes.
The result is that you have a poem that carries more or less the exact same message as the original - a cry of defiant loneliness. I am sure the intention was to make the piece recognizable, but different. Perhaps alter the tone or subvert the message.
Steve
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2016
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I can't help feeling that this is not what the organiser of the concert had in mind. You have stuck to close to the original, including many of the exact lines of Paul Simon's lyrics and it seems many of the end rhymes.
The result is that you have a poem that carries more or less the exact same message as the original - a cry of defiant loneliness. I am sure the intention was to make the piece recognizable, but different. Perhaps alter the tone or subvert the message.
Steve
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2016
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Thank you, Steve, for your review and message. I will see in several hours if this is what the organizer had in mind.
Comment from I am Cat
Andre'!
Awesome re-write!
WEll done! This should be a great contender. And yeah, I had it on two screens, looking and trying to remember yours from Simon and Garfunkel's...
I'm struck at the similarities, and how you managed to stay on par with one of the greatest writing duos of all time.
Well done, Andre', truly.
Good luck in the contest!
Cat
(and welcome back! Great to see you) ;)
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2016
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Andre'!
Awesome re-write!
WEll done! This should be a great contender. And yeah, I had it on two screens, looking and trying to remember yours from Simon and Garfunkel's...
I'm struck at the similarities, and how you managed to stay on par with one of the greatest writing duos of all time.
Well done, Andre', truly.
Good luck in the contest!
Cat
(and welcome back! Great to see you) ;)
Comment Written 05-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2016
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Yes, I am Cat, I am glad to be back. This is my first poem post in 2016! Win or lose, I already won by getting back in the game a day after Page & Spine published three of my FanStory poems. http://www.pagespineficshowcase.com/poems.html
Thank you for your review and contest well-wishes.
Comment from tfawcus
This is a very clever inversion of the original lyrics, using almost the same words to tell a quite different story. It is hard to maintain rock-solid strength without support.
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2016
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This is a very clever inversion of the original lyrics, using almost the same words to tell a quite different story. It is hard to maintain rock-solid strength without support.
Comment Written 05-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2016
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Yes, tfawcus, "This is a very clever inversion of the original lyrics, using almost the same words to tell a quite different story." Thank you for the support you provided me by reviewing these lyrics.
Comment from Dr. Nad
I Am a Rock is a beautiful entry for rewrite the lyrics writing prompt. As I read it I could just hear Paul Simon singing it. LOL follows along very nicely with the tune and the cadence of the original song. Your message comes through as well, we need friends but we don't always have them. Thanks for sharing. May God bless you!
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2016
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I Am a Rock is a beautiful entry for rewrite the lyrics writing prompt. As I read it I could just hear Paul Simon singing it. LOL follows along very nicely with the tune and the cadence of the original song. Your message comes through as well, we need friends but we don't always have them. Thanks for sharing. May God bless you!
Comment Written 05-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2016
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Thank you, Dr. Nad, for your generous review. I am glad my message came through. We all need friends.
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You are very welcome,
Embrace the Love from above!
Comment from victor 66
I remember when this song came out. I was going to a Catholic high school, for what ever reason, the public high school was not in session that day. It was early spring and a car load of public high school kids were going by our school with that song playing as loud as they could get it. One of the students in my class blurted out, "Hey, they got Simon and Garfunkel in the back seat!" You did a very nice job parodying their song. I enjoyed it and it brought back some fond memories. Best wishes.
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2016
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I remember when this song came out. I was going to a Catholic high school, for what ever reason, the public high school was not in session that day. It was early spring and a car load of public high school kids were going by our school with that song playing as loud as they could get it. One of the students in my class blurted out, "Hey, they got Simon and Garfunkel in the back seat!" You did a very nice job parodying their song. I enjoyed it and it brought back some fond memories. Best wishes.
Comment Written 05-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2016
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Yes, victor66, this song brings back bittersweet memories of rebellion and loneliness. I am glad you enjoyed it.
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Yes, I did enjoy it. Take care.
