My Hero
An example of a mother's love43 total reviews
Comment from Nika2016
It is a very entertaining story. We always used the rope to swing across my grandfather's barn, too. What fun! You were too little. The reader can feel your fear and the love you had for your mom.
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2016
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It is a very entertaining story. We always used the rope to swing across my grandfather's barn, too. What fun! You were too little. The reader can feel your fear and the love you had for your mom.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2016
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Thanks. Yep, I did swing across on that rope when I got older. It was great fun even though dad kept telling us not to do it.
Comment from Douglas Paul
This is a great story. You told it well. It flows smoothly and at a good pace. I can see why your Mom is your hereo. That was brave if she has a fear o f heights
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2016
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This is a great story. You told it well. It flows smoothly and at a good pace. I can see why your Mom is your hereo. That was brave if she has a fear o f heights
Comment Written 27-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2016
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Thanks. I appreciate the great review.
Comment from robyn corum
1.) of hay to play (Tarzan) of the jungle.
You preach it, my friend~! You are exactly right. We are all spoiled and don't even realize it! I really enjoyed this story - it went in a completely different direction than I expected and I enjoyed having mom be the hero -- for once. *smile*
Thanks for that!
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2016
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1.) of hay to play (Tarzan) of the jungle.
You preach it, my friend~! You are exactly right. We are all spoiled and don't even realize it! I really enjoyed this story - it went in a completely different direction than I expected and I enjoyed having mom be the hero -- for once. *smile*
Thanks for that!
Comment Written 27-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2016
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Thanks. I know I spelled Tarzen wrong, but all the reviewers, including you, are pointing it out. I appreciate the help and will edit and change.
Comment from higgybop
This is fantastic! I would love to read whatever else you have about your mom. Your visuals are great. Please continue to share your writing with others and I wish you luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2016
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This is fantastic! I would love to read whatever else you have about your mom. Your visuals are great. Please continue to share your writing with others and I wish you luck in the contest.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2016
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Thanks. I intend to write more about my mother and the rest of the family at some point. Thanks for the six stars, they are appreciated.
Comment from damommy
What a beautiful tribute to your mother. Mothers are like a bear with cubs. She'll do anything, fight anybody over her babies.
My mother couldn't swim and can't to this day. (She's 94). When was little, I fell out of a boat and somehow we got to me and got us both back on the river bank. Mothers are like that.
I loved reading your story. It was so sweet and loving. Thank you for sharing this with us. 8-)
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2016
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What a beautiful tribute to your mother. Mothers are like a bear with cubs. She'll do anything, fight anybody over her babies.
My mother couldn't swim and can't to this day. (She's 94). When was little, I fell out of a boat and somehow we got to me and got us both back on the river bank. Mothers are like that.
I loved reading your story. It was so sweet and loving. Thank you for sharing this with us. 8-)
Comment Written 27-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2016
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Thanks. It sounds like your mother was a hero too. I love hearing other folks stories about mother's.
Comment from Bill O'Bier
I loved reading your story and was quickly drawn in. The descriptive language flowed well.
Good Luck in the contest.
Thanks for sharing.
Bill
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2016
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I loved reading your story and was quickly drawn in. The descriptive language flowed well.
Good Luck in the contest.
Thanks for sharing.
Bill
Comment Written 27-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2016
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Thanks. I'm glad you enjoyed the story.
Comment from lancellot
IT is a nice telling and many will welcome a story about a mother who saves her cub. It needs some expansion. It is one dimensional in being all telling, no showing. No feelings of fear comes through. no personal connection with the child or mom.
Maybe I could climb up there; I saw my older brothers and sisters do it all the time.
- The first part of this line reads like a thought in question form you at the time.
Well, they weren't here now so who was going to stop me?
- Here you change in tense. This is present not past as you're tell the tale years later
Fear had me totally paralyzed. There was only one solution to my predicament and that was Mom. I began to howl at the top of my lungs.
- this was abrupt. We have no contest for the fear. We can't see it in action. You just tell us.
It must have been a good half hour before mother heard me
- This 30 min window. would be a perfect time to show the reader what fear was doing to you, so was can experience it with you.
It must have been extremely difficult to get a hysterical child down that ladder to safety
- How were you hysterical? at this point you are frozen. we don't see any more.
We can see any fear in your mother. Most heroic acts involve the overcoming of fear in action.
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2016
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IT is a nice telling and many will welcome a story about a mother who saves her cub. It needs some expansion. It is one dimensional in being all telling, no showing. No feelings of fear comes through. no personal connection with the child or mom.
Maybe I could climb up there; I saw my older brothers and sisters do it all the time.
- The first part of this line reads like a thought in question form you at the time.
Well, they weren't here now so who was going to stop me?
- Here you change in tense. This is present not past as you're tell the tale years later
Fear had me totally paralyzed. There was only one solution to my predicament and that was Mom. I began to howl at the top of my lungs.
- this was abrupt. We have no contest for the fear. We can't see it in action. You just tell us.
It must have been a good half hour before mother heard me
- This 30 min window. would be a perfect time to show the reader what fear was doing to you, so was can experience it with you.
It must have been extremely difficult to get a hysterical child down that ladder to safety
- How were you hysterical? at this point you are frozen. we don't see any more.
We can see any fear in your mother. Most heroic acts involve the overcoming of fear in action.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2016
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Thanks. I don't have any more reviewer votes or I would give you one. Thanks for the help.
Comment from LIJ Red
This cuts right to the prompt, and illustrates the essence of being a
good mother. You don't mention any sound thrashing afterward, so she was a remarkably forbearing hero.
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2016
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This cuts right to the prompt, and illustrates the essence of being a
good mother. You don't mention any sound thrashing afterward, so she was a remarkably forbearing hero.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2016
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Thanks. No, mother was not one to physically punish us much; she left that to my father. She did chew me out pretty good but here was no danger of me doing that stunt again anyway.
Comment from lindafisher
Your mum certainly was a hero, to conquer a fear like that is very heroic. Your story is has everything. The picture of your mum sewing is indicative of the times. I enjoyed reading this story.
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2016
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Your mum certainly was a hero, to conquer a fear like that is very heroic. Your story is has everything. The picture of your mum sewing is indicative of the times. I enjoyed reading this story.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2016
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Thanks. I am seventy now but I still miss my mother. It is a shame our loved ones must leave.
Comment from royowen
I think love is the strongest of all emotions, it makes people do things they wouldn't normally do, unconditionality cause us to risk our own necks to save another, VC winners to face a machine nest, people who can't swim try to rescue someone drown, Jesus said, "greater love hath no man than this, to lay down His life for a friend." John 15:14, well done, great story, good chance, blessings,, Roy.
Typo : (Tarzen) of the jungle. Tarzan?
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2016
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I think love is the strongest of all emotions, it makes people do things they wouldn't normally do, unconditionality cause us to risk our own necks to save another, VC winners to face a machine nest, people who can't swim try to rescue someone drown, Jesus said, "greater love hath no man than this, to lay down His life for a friend." John 15:14, well done, great story, good chance, blessings,, Roy.
Typo : (Tarzen) of the jungle. Tarzan?
Comment Written 27-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2016
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Thanks. I believe my mother would have killed for any one of us. She was a mother in the days when mothers were there twenty four hours a day and seven days a week. I never came home from school and found my mother not there.
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Well done, mine too.
