Prosetry
Viewing comments for Chapter 52 "Daddy"Story telling poems
19 total reviews
Comment from Liberty Justice
I'm sorry poet missed stories of fathers life. This father was very brave and a true patriot yo have served so many wars. Did he survive all these wars. Very interesting how poet's family survived many ordeals. liberty justice
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2016
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I'm sorry poet missed stories of fathers life. This father was very brave and a true patriot yo have served so many wars. Did he survive all these wars. Very interesting how poet's family survived many ordeals. liberty justice
Comment Written 01-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2016
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Thank you so much. I agree, I am happy I got to write about him.
Comment from Pantygynt
How is it that I can read two adjacent free verse poems and find them not just different but one an example of prose hacked into lines and the other, this one, a poem, of great beauty. I was talking to another Fanstorian about the teaching of free verse. I don't think you can teach it, not like you can teach a sonnet or a villanelle.
There being no rules to teach. You've either got it or you haven't.
You have.
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2016
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How is it that I can read two adjacent free verse poems and find them not just different but one an example of prose hacked into lines and the other, this one, a poem, of great beauty. I was talking to another Fanstorian about the teaching of free verse. I don't think you can teach it, not like you can teach a sonnet or a villanelle.
There being no rules to teach. You've either got it or you haven't.
You have.
Comment Written 01-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2016
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Thank you so much. I truly enjoyed talking about my father. I have so much to learn and I am get so much help at Fan Story.
Comment from William Ross
A great poem and write on your father, we as fathers do not want to bring the horrors of war home with us if we can help it. great write thanks for sharing the thoughts.
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2016
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A great poem and write on your father, we as fathers do not want to bring the horrors of war home with us if we can help it. great write thanks for sharing the thoughts.
Comment Written 01-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2016
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Thank you , I so appreciate it. And it is nice to hear from a Father. It helps me understand.
Comment from MsRamsy
You created a love song for your father that takes flight each time someone reads this. I wish to thank you for sharing that.
I love the straightforwardness of your work. I didn't have to waste time sifting through extravagant hints or psychological riddles. For those of us who never had such inspirations in our own lives, your creation's a quiet reassurance that all is , indeed, still pretty decent out there.
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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You created a love song for your father that takes flight each time someone reads this. I wish to thank you for sharing that.
I love the straightforwardness of your work. I didn't have to waste time sifting through extravagant hints or psychological riddles. For those of us who never had such inspirations in our own lives, your creation's a quiet reassurance that all is , indeed, still pretty decent out there.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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Wow, you just touched my soul. I have been told that my writing is sometimes raw with emotions. I hide nothing. A love song to my father truly makes me want to cry, I didn't think of it as that and yet that is what it is. Thank you
Comment from alleewin
I have never really liked or understood poetry but this one I do like.
Because poetry is so new to me I don't attempt to review the ones I don't understand because I don't feel I can give useful advise, and so I can't help you improve your poem but I did enjoy reading it. I think most men in any war who are forced to perform such horrific actions would feel reluctant to talk about it. My heart goes out to them for having to experience such things.
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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I have never really liked or understood poetry but this one I do like.
Because poetry is so new to me I don't attempt to review the ones I don't understand because I don't feel I can give useful advise, and so I can't help you improve your poem but I did enjoy reading it. I think most men in any war who are forced to perform such horrific actions would feel reluctant to talk about it. My heart goes out to them for having to experience such things.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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Thank you so much. I so appreciate your words and understanding. Especially your comment about Men who know war. You helped make my day better.
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Thank you. You just made my day better by telling me that.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A well written poem. Your daddy was a kind loving man and father. Judging from your poem, I think he thought it will be better to spare you the horrific details of war.
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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A well written poem. Your daddy was a kind loving man and father. Judging from your poem, I think he thought it will be better to spare you the horrific details of war.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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I also believe that. Thank you for your kind words.
Comment from pmait
Beautiful in so many ways. I have a few suggestions.
1. Remove any periods and commas. Your separate lines do the job. Keep the ?
2. Remove any upper case letters at the beginning of lines, except the personal "I" and the "L" at the end, which will make the emotion stand out.
3. Keep the interior caps on Conestoga, Dad, France, D-day, B52's and the Lord's Prayer, since they are proper names or titles. "Mom," with its modifier, is optional.
4. Line 5, a typo, change "a" to "as."
But I wouldn't change a word. Well written, and the short lines are perfect.
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reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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Beautiful in so many ways. I have a few suggestions.
1. Remove any periods and commas. Your separate lines do the job. Keep the ?
2. Remove any upper case letters at the beginning of lines, except the personal "I" and the "L" at the end, which will make the emotion stand out.
3. Keep the interior caps on Conestoga, Dad, France, D-day, B52's and the Lord's Prayer, since they are proper names or titles. "Mom," with its modifier, is optional.
4. Line 5, a typo, change "a" to "as."
But I wouldn't change a word. Well written, and the short lines are perfect.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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I am printing your review as I type so that I can go back and make the changes. I so appreciate you.
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Happy to help any way I can.
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Happy to help any way I can.
Comment from Joy Graham
Oh wow! I can so relate to this poem as my dad was in WWII also. I asked my dad what he was doing on D-Day and his reply was sobering, just as your dad's 21st birthday was. He said he was "in a foxhole getting shot at by the Germans because nobody told them that the war was over". I just wondered because they always show the people partying in the streets on D-Day celebrating the end of the way.
You almost had me in tears with this poem. It just touched me deeply. All the stories of each generation before you and all the things they lived through.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2016
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Oh wow! I can so relate to this poem as my dad was in WWII also. I asked my dad what he was doing on D-Day and his reply was sobering, just as your dad's 21st birthday was. He said he was "in a foxhole getting shot at by the Germans because nobody told them that the war was over". I just wondered because they always show the people partying in the streets on D-Day celebrating the end of the way.
You almost had me in tears with this poem. It just touched me deeply. All the stories of each generation before you and all the things they lived through.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2016
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Thank you, I have become your fan . I love this site that truly helps us grow as writers and people.
Comment from foxangie123
Truly an amazing write of the most enjoyment here. You are genius to take travel and situation from history and apply it with great writing. Bravo..
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reply by the author on 25-Feb-2016
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Truly an amazing write of the most enjoyment here. You are genius to take travel and situation from history and apply it with great writing. Bravo..
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2016
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thank you for the wonderful review. It helps me understand how grateful I am to have a history that others relate to.
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Greatly stated.
