Jealousy and Me-Part 2
Biographical Study20 total reviews
Comment from Gloria ....
Okay I'm settling in with a coffee to review part two of your jealousy essay, Mikey.
Sounds like this fellah has a bit of a wandering eye. Oh wait a minute, ahem... I'm just *whistles*
As always you write straight from the heart and that is your strongest asset. Reading you IS like peaking into the private pages of a person's diary and that my dear is what real writing is supposed to be like.
Exceptional as always. Can't wait for your next diary entry. :))
Gloria
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2016
  |
Okay I'm settling in with a coffee to review part two of your jealousy essay, Mikey.
Sounds like this fellah has a bit of a wandering eye. Oh wait a minute, ahem... I'm just *whistles*
As always you write straight from the heart and that is your strongest asset. Reading you IS like peaking into the private pages of a person's diary and that my dear is what real writing is supposed to be like.
Exceptional as always. Can't wait for your next diary entry. :))
Gloria
Comment Written 22-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2016
-
Sometimes your intuition is a bit scary. I get the feeling you are looking right inside my brain and looking at things I'm not privy to myself. Ha!
I'm so pleased you find merit in this as to my style. That's encouraging and gives me some incentive to consider pursuing this further. It's a lot to learn for me. Damn, i should have paid attention in school. I so hate to admit Mrs. Vernalis was right. She's risen from the grave no doubt and is dancing on her tombstone.
Thanks so much. It means as much to point out something a writer is doing right as it does to point out something needing correction. mikey
Comment from seaglass
I agree that communication, the kind where both are truly listening, is key to trust and understanding. In my 2nd and present relationship, we shared our expectations for a relationship before it even got serious. There were certain things he never wanted to have to tolerate again and the same was true for me.
Part of our demonstration of love is to respect that expectation of one another. Secondly, the golden rule is under-rated. Many who play the jealously game wouldn't want to experience it coming back at them.
Thirdly, Everyone entering into a relationship, has to talk through what to expect from each other's careers and hobbies. It would be stupid for a woman to marry a gynecologist if she couldn't tolerate her husband being in a room with an unclothed woman.
I think this is often the case with the entertainment business as well as professional sports. It's a fun chase to capture a performer or athlete, but then one has to deal with all the other fans and groupies trying to do the same thing.
It's probably the reason Hollywood couples and sport figures change spouses as often as they change their socks.
In truth, there are unbalanced women who seek to seduce certain career men. Doctors, ministers, priests, rodeo cowboys, men holding office, and musicians are targets. These woman feel they have no personal value and seek to gain it on the coat tail of a successful man.
My uncle was a successful, and good looking minister. He never allowed himself to be caught in a moment with another woman without his assistant, his secretary, or his wife present. That seems like over caution but apparently he had experienced some deadly types.
I think an understanding about what can happen, and the precaution that will be taken, is what many spouses need to relax and not feel the need for jealously.
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2016
|
I agree that communication, the kind where both are truly listening, is key to trust and understanding. In my 2nd and present relationship, we shared our expectations for a relationship before it even got serious. There were certain things he never wanted to have to tolerate again and the same was true for me.
Part of our demonstration of love is to respect that expectation of one another. Secondly, the golden rule is under-rated. Many who play the jealously game wouldn't want to experience it coming back at them.
Thirdly, Everyone entering into a relationship, has to talk through what to expect from each other's careers and hobbies. It would be stupid for a woman to marry a gynecologist if she couldn't tolerate her husband being in a room with an unclothed woman.
I think this is often the case with the entertainment business as well as professional sports. It's a fun chase to capture a performer or athlete, but then one has to deal with all the other fans and groupies trying to do the same thing.
It's probably the reason Hollywood couples and sport figures change spouses as often as they change their socks.
In truth, there are unbalanced women who seek to seduce certain career men. Doctors, ministers, priests, rodeo cowboys, men holding office, and musicians are targets. These woman feel they have no personal value and seek to gain it on the coat tail of a successful man.
My uncle was a successful, and good looking minister. He never allowed himself to be caught in a moment with another woman without his assistant, his secretary, or his wife present. That seems like over caution but apparently he had experienced some deadly types.
I think an understanding about what can happen, and the precaution that will be taken, is what many spouses need to relax and not feel the need for jealously.
Comment Written 22-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2016
-
I copied this to word. It's almost as though it was written specifically for me to study. These are all things from the back of my mind brought to the fore by writing this little piece. You have managed to really break it down and shed some awesome light on it. Over caution hits home with a lot of force to me. That may be something I have control over that I haven't considered seriously enough, but should. Well, of course, I know I should. :)) Thanks so much for taking this time. What a wonderful response. mikey
-
So glad my thoughts were meaningful to me.
-
I meant to say...so glad my thoughts were meaningful to YOU...lol
-
Well, I figured, but I also thought they were probably meaningful to you as well. :))
I have these copied to word and I am working on things. It would be a hoot if I grew up at this late age. HAHAHA! I'm just shooting for a little growth. No need to go crazy. LOLOL
-
I grow up more a little every day
Comment from Dawn Munro
What a brilliant ending to your "biographical study", Mike - and I loved the phrasing, as well as the meaning in this: "I'm not in the book and neither are you." LOL - too true!!!
The "jealousy" you speak of, for me, is the romantic version of envy - subverting your career would just be "envy" I think - in any event, it's that toxic influence we strive to eliminate from our lives as we mature and seek to understand ourselves and our place in the world, as we look for true peace of mind.
Well done! Best of luck!
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2016
|
What a brilliant ending to your "biographical study", Mike - and I loved the phrasing, as well as the meaning in this: "I'm not in the book and neither are you." LOL - too true!!!
The "jealousy" you speak of, for me, is the romantic version of envy - subverting your career would just be "envy" I think - in any event, it's that toxic influence we strive to eliminate from our lives as we mature and seek to understand ourselves and our place in the world, as we look for true peace of mind.
Well done! Best of luck!
Comment Written 21-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2016
-
I'm so pleased you singled out that line. That's sooo important to me. Psychologists and counselors need to keep that in mind when dealing with people. We are all different. Also, we can all lie, so unless both parties are being truthful none of it works anyway. Yeah, maturing. Hahaha. A lofty goal for the male of the species. GEEEEEEEEE do I hafta? Hahaha!! mikey
-
Hey, it's not gender-specific. LOL. I just had someone tell me I was "a grown-ass woman!" Mind you, his agenda was er...shall we say NOYB. LOL. (He's awfully cute though. It's tempting. HAAHAHA!)
-
I'm a guy. I'm well aware of our agenda. HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! It's comforting to know that some of us are tempting. It gives the rest of us hope!!!! :))))
-
LOL. BUT...
Let me explain my sudden mood switch - just now I am experiencing (yet again) what I am convinced is someone looking for the very worst in character - MY character!!! (or is it that my writing is so poor, my communication skills so pathetic, I come across 180 degrees apart from who I am?) (God, I STUDIED communication in college - twice - the second time not business communication but creative - Advertising program and I was DEAN'S list the whole time.)
These are the things that make me sick (heartsick) about FS. If you are proud of your work, you're a conceited, boastful bitch worthy of scorn and put-down, yet if you are too humble, you aren't respected/taken seriously.
I'm off on a tangent again, Mike, my feelings hurt by this guy. WTF is wrong with people? I better leave before I bring you down too. I'll be back, but not sure when...there are too many good people to let a few judgemental remarks from others keep me away...I guess... ttfn
-
Don't let any jackass bring you down. There's always a few in the pack. I know the feeling too. It just wipes out every good vibe and feeling you have. Bastards. How can they have that much power. It's just so damn wrong. Everyone knows what an awesome person you are. He's nothing and everyone knows that too. Hurry back. Don't let it get to you. Hugs, mikey
-
This did the trick (and not risking any more interaction with anyone for a while). Thanks mighty Mike - all kidding aside, you wrote just what I needed to hear (big suck that I am). But in my defense, I've spent most of my life very reticent about sharing my private life (and slowly opening up here), so when it's a perceived put-down, it stings. Makes me want to climb right back behind that wall. Thank you for the amazing compliment. I can see why the gals were/are clamoring for Mikey. *grin* I'd tease and say you're silver-tongued but I know you were sincere, and I am also when I say it was a big help to read your kind words!
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi, Mikey
= You bring up interesting points, scenarios.
= An excellent ending to your essay.
= I believe when it comes down to it, each of us fights our own demons, which in turn causes us to act and react the way we do.
= When it comes to relationships, while most of the time psycho analysis has its merit, there are times when it is nothing but psycho-babble. (*<*)
* Cheers & Blessings *
Keep Smilin'... Jackie <> Jax (*>*)
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2016
|
Hi, Mikey
= You bring up interesting points, scenarios.
= An excellent ending to your essay.
= I believe when it comes down to it, each of us fights our own demons, which in turn causes us to act and react the way we do.
= When it comes to relationships, while most of the time psycho analysis has its merit, there are times when it is nothing but psycho-babble. (*<*)
* Cheers & Blessings *
Keep Smilin'... Jackie <> Jax (*>*)
Comment Written 21-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2016
-
I've come to almost the exact same conclusions. It is a bunch of psycho-babble for the most part. As you say, each of us fights our own demons and our demons are our own and nobody else's. We are no two of us alike. No book can tell us what to do and no one reading out of a book can either. Great feedback. blessings to you, mikey
Comment from Ric Myworld
We are all individuals. We can't be compared to anyone else. We are all different in some way. Thank goodness. I mean, who the Hell would ever truly want to be like anyone else. Even thought, many think they want to, at least for awhile. Thanks for another fine chapter. :-)
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2016
|
We are all individuals. We can't be compared to anyone else. We are all different in some way. Thank goodness. I mean, who the Hell would ever truly want to be like anyone else. Even thought, many think they want to, at least for awhile. Thanks for another fine chapter. :-)
Comment Written 21-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2016
-
I'd like to be like Kate Winslet's husband, but only for the evening. Then I'd like to turn back into myself so I could see myself smiling in the mirror the next morning. Jeez, what a looney response. This place gets to ya after awhile. HAHAHA. mikey
Comment from l.raven
OK!!!Michael.. lets try a third time...when I say only glance...I mean rarely... and only with me there...it truly is disrespectful to the other partner...you are in love or your not...and there are lady friends...if you can't talk or show what you are texting to your partner...something is wrong...and the one doing it is wrong...but it goes back to....how much do I love you...it truly depends on the couple...finally...this thing shut me off twice sweetie...thank you for sharing your story you...now have great evening...very well written...Luff Linda xxoo love
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2016
|
OK!!!Michael.. lets try a third time...when I say only glance...I mean rarely... and only with me there...it truly is disrespectful to the other partner...you are in love or your not...and there are lady friends...if you can't talk or show what you are texting to your partner...something is wrong...and the one doing it is wrong...but it goes back to....how much do I love you...it truly depends on the couple...finally...this thing shut me off twice sweetie...thank you for sharing your story you...now have great evening...very well written...Luff Linda xxoo love
Comment Written 21-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2016
-
I hate when a dude disrespects his partner. Nothing is worse to me. I've been known to embarrass guys for doing that. It just shows no class at all. Yeah, my best responses always get wiped out by this crazy thing. Ha! Thanks for your thoughtful replies. Most cool and sweet. mikey xxppoo
-
you are so welcome sweetie...always...love xxoo
Comment from Linda Engel
Excellent conclusion to this two part therapy session. You are strong and insightful for taking the time to evaluate yourself and your relationships. Don't leave things unsettled. Communication is key and it isn't just throwing your feelings out there.
It is paying attention to your partner day in and day out whether they are speaking or not.
After twenty years with Fred, I have put aside what hurt me and became thankful for the good in the relationship. The laughter. The kindness. The hugs and kisses. And most importantly the freedom to be me. The freedom to pursue my crafts and writing, and just being able to be alone. He goes spends time with his friends and I get the house to myself. The older he gets the less time he spends away. It all works out.
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2016
|
Excellent conclusion to this two part therapy session. You are strong and insightful for taking the time to evaluate yourself and your relationships. Don't leave things unsettled. Communication is key and it isn't just throwing your feelings out there.
It is paying attention to your partner day in and day out whether they are speaking or not.
After twenty years with Fred, I have put aside what hurt me and became thankful for the good in the relationship. The laughter. The kindness. The hugs and kisses. And most importantly the freedom to be me. The freedom to pursue my crafts and writing, and just being able to be alone. He goes spends time with his friends and I get the house to myself. The older he gets the less time he spends away. It all works out.
Comment Written 21-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2016
-
It means so much to read your analysis and see your advice written in black and white. It totally affirms some of the conclusions I came to. But, I have a tendency to doubt my own wisdom considering my track record. Ha! Awesome insights and so thoughtful in your response. Thank you very much. mikey
Comment from Rubylou
The strongest impression I came away with was lack of communication. In one paragraph, you ask "Should she tell me?" )about her insecurity._
Also you speak of not understanding, " each other's perspectives." This leaves a black hole in any relationship.
I feel that when partner feels left out or not a part of his/her loved one's life
( even a small part ) maybe there is no sharing of activities going on it produces a gap and the longer it goes on the harder it becomes to bridge it. This leads to jealousy and strife . (just my thoughts)
I like your ending. It is a resolve to open up, send out love, and expect love in return.
Rubylou
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2016
|
The strongest impression I came away with was lack of communication. In one paragraph, you ask "Should she tell me?" )about her insecurity._
Also you speak of not understanding, " each other's perspectives." This leaves a black hole in any relationship.
I feel that when partner feels left out or not a part of his/her loved one's life
( even a small part ) maybe there is no sharing of activities going on it produces a gap and the longer it goes on the harder it becomes to bridge it. This leads to jealousy and strife . (just my thoughts)
I like your ending. It is a resolve to open up, send out love, and expect love in return.
Rubylou
Comment Written 21-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2016
-
You came to the same conclusions I did, Rubylou.
What's funny is that many of these conclusions occurred to me as I wrote this. Better late than never, yes?
Wonderful insights. You truly affirm what I've discovered and that's a huge help to me personally and tells me I wrote something worthwhile as well. Thanks a million. mike
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Oh I hate it when I read the last part first but this is the way it came up.
ABsoltuely the truth spoken.
Jealousy is the pit of hell itself as it makes even the sane become unglued.
I have lived both sides and that is why I guess I understand.
Great writing.
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2016
|
Oh I hate it when I read the last part first but this is the way it came up.
ABsoltuely the truth spoken.
Jealousy is the pit of hell itself as it makes even the sane become unglued.
I have lived both sides and that is why I guess I understand.
Great writing.
Comment Written 21-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2016
-
I'm not usually the jealous type, but I have been once in a blue moon, it is an insane feeling. This was fun to write, I probably learned more than I imparted. :)) mike
Comment from Scarbrems
I enjoyed this exploration of an emotion most of us have been guilty o, and some of us have been the victim of. I've been with the same guy for ever and a day, so what do I know, really, but we've always each had friends of the opposite sex, and it isn't a problem. If sombody wants to have an affair, I'm not going to stop it happening by assuming they are cheating on me with every bird they talk to.
Some great points made.
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2016
|
I enjoyed this exploration of an emotion most of us have been guilty o, and some of us have been the victim of. I've been with the same guy for ever and a day, so what do I know, really, but we've always each had friends of the opposite sex, and it isn't a problem. If sombody wants to have an affair, I'm not going to stop it happening by assuming they are cheating on me with every bird they talk to.
Some great points made.
Comment Written 21-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2016
-
Well, every guy in the world wishes they had you. :))
I'm one that prefers female company and kind of abhors males and couldn't think of anything worse than a night out with the boys. I'm one of their kind, more of us doesn't improve things.
I don't care about rebuilding car engines or building houses from scratch so I don't want to hang around with people that do. I've never minded who my partner wants as friends. I like to see her happy and she does have interests I don't share. I have discovered in writing this I'm not immune to a little jealous streak though, so I have to look at that.
In general though, I agree totally with you. What's the worry? mike
