LORD ABRAM
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Dawn of the Nordoxz"Land of the Angels
26 total reviews
Comment from DonandVicki
A very spiritual , yet supernatural tale. You hold on to the readers attention with you well told tale. You have a keen sense of character development. I did not feel that this chapter was too lengthy.
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2016
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A very spiritual , yet supernatural tale. You hold on to the readers attention with you well told tale. You have a keen sense of character development. I did not feel that this chapter was too lengthy.
Comment Written 15-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2016
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Thank you very much, Donamd Vicki.
Comment from mbagby23
I do like how you change the font when Abram speaking. It makes it easier to tell the narrator from him. I also like how you give a list of the characters. It gives us a heads up on who to look towards in the up coming chapters. Nicely done and great story line.
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2016
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I do like how you change the font when Abram speaking. It makes it easier to tell the narrator from him. I also like how you give a list of the characters. It gives us a heads up on who to look towards in the up coming chapters. Nicely done and great story line.
Comment Written 15-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2016
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Thank you very much. I really appreciate your review. I'm glad you liked it.
Comment from JTStone
Excellent premise, though the action could have been more specific. It was too easy, one swing equaled one kill-on both sides. War with either beasts or humans is horrific and terrifying. I felt neither. It was rather clean.
The story itself was well written. Abram's narrative was brilliantly done. The story had a perfect flow and the bed scene with Abram honoring his late wife was very well crafted.
Other than the fighting, it was pretty well done and definitely entertaining.
Jimmy
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2016
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Excellent premise, though the action could have been more specific. It was too easy, one swing equaled one kill-on both sides. War with either beasts or humans is horrific and terrifying. I felt neither. It was rather clean.
The story itself was well written. Abram's narrative was brilliantly done. The story had a perfect flow and the bed scene with Abram honoring his late wife was very well crafted.
Other than the fighting, it was pretty well done and definitely entertaining.
Jimmy
Comment Written 15-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2016
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Thank you for your honesty. I'll go over the fight scenes and see what i can improve.
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If I were you I wouldn't change your fight sequences--shorten them. But crank it up a notch, just follow one character into battle.
Your strength is your dialog and imaginative story. Play to your strengths--down play the weaker portions.
Just a thought. You have the makings of a great tory.
Comment from fafa
Very good content with a spiritual load thatwithout doubting it reflects the spirit of thewriter.
Good dialogues, a lot of congratulationsand that god blesses him
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2016
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Very good content with a spiritual load thatwithout doubting it reflects the spirit of thewriter.
Good dialogues, a lot of congratulationsand that god blesses him
Comment Written 15-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2016
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Thank you.
Comment from chcbeck
I enjoyed this story, and the story within a story approach, a great read and well written the change in font makes it easier to follow. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2016
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I enjoyed this story, and the story within a story approach, a great read and well written the change in font makes it easier to follow. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 15-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2016
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Thank you.
Comment from c_lucas
There are stories in ancient tablets which have been included into the scrolls which became part of our holy works. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2016
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There are stories in ancient tablets which have been included into the scrolls which became part of our holy works. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2016
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Thank you, Charlie.
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You're welcome, Amahra. Charlie
