Comment from BeasPeas

Excellent

This is very nicely composed in form and content in which the mermaid laments her lack of mobility on land and inability to roam the earth and dance. She is a captive of the sea. Reference to the "unfurled flag" in each stanza further unites the poem. Marilyn

 Comment Written 28-Feb-2016

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reply by the author on 28-Feb-2016

Hi Marilyn,

Thank you for your lovely comments on my mermaid poem. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review.

Kim

Comment from thonnigford09

Excellent

Lovely fantasy poem!!! Beautiful!!!!! I love the different habitats the mermaid visits. I would recommend this!! thonnigford09

 Comment Written 27-Feb-2016

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reply by the author on 27-Feb-2016

Thank you, Thonnigford, I appreciate your excellent comments and you taking the time to read and review.

Kim

reply by thonnigford09 on 28-Feb-2016

I loved this one. Reminded me of living in N. Carolina!! Thanks again!! thonnigford09

Comment from Eternal Muse

Excellent

Excellent rendition of a Lyricat poem. I was not familiar with the form, thank you for your explanation in the author notes. This appeased the nautical lover in me, and what a great picture!

Loved these:

Wish to rove with sun above,
Enthralled by the chance
Of an adventure.
Mountainous expanse;
In clean air, replete.
Snow-capped -- peak by peak
Unfurled as a flag to distant lands;
Where chilling winds speak

Loved the personification of winds

Your word choices create amazing visuals.

Thank you for joining us with the form that Cat created, and I wish you the best of luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 15-Feb-2016

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reply by the author on 15-Feb-2016

Hi Yeltel!

I felt like you were honoring Cat with your contest, so I should do the same with my poem and try my hand at her style :) Thank you for a most excellent review! I love it! I appreciate you sharing your thoughts and taking the time to read my entry.

Thanks for sponsoring the contest, too! :)

Kim

Comment from honeytree

Exceptional

The art work is wonderful
for these words written
The imagination within the words
The beauty around in the water
The surroundings around great.

Annie

 Comment Written 12-Feb-2016

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reply by the author on 12-Feb-2016

Hi Annie,

Thank you so much for the generous six stars and your lovely review. I truly appreciate you taking the time to read and share your thoughts on my poems.

Kim

reply by honeytree on 12-Feb-2016

That's fine.

Annie

Comment from bichonfrisegirl

Exceptional

I'm a bit late getting to this one, but it was worth the wait, Kim. I love mermaid poems, and this one did not disappoint. The grass is always greener on the other side, and you've put a mermaid's spin on it. Loved it! A very creative premise for a write.

You worked the format beautifully. I've never tried to write a Lyricat ... looks challenging. Fave part: "longing's just to dance on two graceful feet - free of Neptune's reach". :) Great choice of artwork to complement your poem!

Great job, Kim!

 Comment Written 11-Feb-2016

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reply by the author on 11-Feb-2016

Hi Connie!

Thank you so much for the kind compliments and exceptionally generous six stars. I love mermaids, too! I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my poem. :)

Kim

Comment from Joy Graham

Excellent

I enjoyed your LyriCat, Dovey :) I like that you pushed the boundaries and went for four stanzas. You're such a rebel lol! I have only seen three stanza LyriCats so far, so this is exciting to see one a bit longer.

I love that picture. I see somebody lost in sadness when the world around them is vibrant and filled with color.

I'm sure Cat will love this poem. Best wishes to you in the contest!

 Comment Written 10-Feb-2016

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reply by the author on 10-Feb-2016

Thank you for all of your wonderful comments, Joy. Three stanzas just weren't enough lol :) I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my poem.

Kim

Comment from Pantygynt

Excellent

I just loved the artwork and if the weather and sea were warmer I would be off to Porthcawl - my nearest seaside resort - to look for her. These things I find difficult to write and get to flow properly. I believe the key is to go for as much ejambment as possible.

Most of the time you have got a very sound flow but just a few times, where you make a statement per line - mainly in the middle of the stanzas the jerkiness creeps in. Keep writing in this form. The more you do the better they get.

 Comment Written 10-Feb-2016

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reply by the author on 10-Feb-2016

Hi Pantygynt,

What an astute observation. Cat rarely makes a statement per line, and with this being her style, that makes perfect sense to me. I must have edited at least four times to get it to this point, in search of just that flow. I'll keep that in mind :) I'm much more apt to go for the statement per line, as you say, in the styles I'm more accustomed to writing. Who knew writing five syllable lines could be such a challenge? lol

Thanks for your thoughts!

Kim

reply by Pantygynt on 10-Feb-2016

One thing you might find helpful is the two times table. 2x5=10. Take two of those 5 liners together and you could find a pentameter lurking in there. Lol.

reply by the author on 10-Feb-2016

Leave it to you to find a mathematical approach. :) I love it! I will keep that in mind.

Comment from Teri7

Excellent

This is a very good poem you have penned. I love the shades of blue you have used in this. You used very good descriptive wording and very good imagery. Great job. hugs, Teri

 Comment Written 10-Feb-2016

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reply by the author on 10-Feb-2016

Thanks, Teri! It is great to hear from you. Its been a long time! :) Thank you for the kind comments. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review.

Kim

Comment from frogbook

Excellent

Loved this, not only the poem's excellent form and flow but the whole idea. Beautiful presentation too. Great for this prompt.

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2016

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reply by the author on 09-Feb-2016

Thanks for all of your wonderful comments, frogbook. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my poem. :)

Kim

Comment from damommy

Excellent

My goodness. I never thought a mermaid might want to experience life outside her watery home. What an imagination you have! I like this very much.

The photo you chose is lovely. 8-)

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2016

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reply by the author on 09-Feb-2016

Hi damommy,

I just gave her that human attribute of wanting what we can't have lol the poem wrote itself from there :) Thank you for your kind words. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my poem.

Kim