History and Myth
Viewing comments for Chapter 42 "To Golgotha"Poems that tell stories of long ago
32 total reviews
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
The saddest ancient story in the history of man kind. On the other hand all that happened had a purpose and was planned by God himself and we should be thankful each day for His Sacrifice.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2016
The saddest ancient story in the history of man kind. On the other hand all that happened had a purpose and was planned by God himself and we should be thankful each day for His Sacrifice.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2016
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Thank you Sandra. Yes, we certainly should.
Comment from lightink
It looks like your mind works similarly to mine - after reading all those druid themed pantygynts, I was definitely thinking of another Roman related/ spiritual theme, as well - this very story! I am glad you wrote it - very eloquently, too!
I am not very religious but this made me tear up. I feel deeply for Jesus and I have a lot of admiration for him. Your poem captures a whole range of emotion, cruelty, grief, fear, even a glimmer of hope for those believing...
I have just one very minor suggestion: instead of "sadness" in the line "as sadness filled the place" I recommend a stronger word: sorrow, deep grief, etc..
Sadness doesn't do justice to the overwhelming pain.
Everything else is beautiful and very moving!
Thank you for sharing!
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2016
It looks like your mind works similarly to mine - after reading all those druid themed pantygynts, I was definitely thinking of another Roman related/ spiritual theme, as well - this very story! I am glad you wrote it - very eloquently, too!
I am not very religious but this made me tear up. I feel deeply for Jesus and I have a lot of admiration for him. Your poem captures a whole range of emotion, cruelty, grief, fear, even a glimmer of hope for those believing...
I have just one very minor suggestion: instead of "sadness" in the line "as sadness filled the place" I recommend a stronger word: sorrow, deep grief, etc..
Sadness doesn't do justice to the overwhelming pain.
Everything else is beautiful and very moving!
Thank you for sharing!
Comment Written 09-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2016
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Thank you Jyoti, I consider that.
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Oh, one more thing! I created a PantyGynt contest. See if you feel like entering...
Warmly,
J
Comment from DonandVicki
I think that we need to see more spiritual poetry like yours . It is obvious that you spent a lot of time on this work. Good use of rhyme that isn't forced.
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2016
I think that we need to see more spiritual poetry like yours . It is obvious that you spent a lot of time on this work. Good use of rhyme that isn't forced.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2016
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Thank you very much DonandVicki.
Comment from Selina Stambi
Hello Tom,
It thrills and delights me to see Fanstorians experimenting with each other's 'inventions'. It delights me more to see such amazing forms created by fellow writers.
You've done credit to Jim with this one. The form lends itself perfectly to the drama of the story being told.
Well done, friend!
Sonali
Into his burning eyes it (led) ... past tense of lead: led
To evil crowds(') "Hurrah!"
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2016
Hello Tom,
It thrills and delights me to see Fanstorians experimenting with each other's 'inventions'. It delights me more to see such amazing forms created by fellow writers.
You've done credit to Jim with this one. The form lends itself perfectly to the drama of the story being told.
Well done, friend!
Sonali
Into his burning eyes it (led) ... past tense of lead: led
To evil crowds(') "Hurrah!"
Comment Written 09-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2016
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Thanks Sonali, I'll fix that. Appreciate the edit.
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Did you know that Veronica is not mentioned in the Protestant Bible? (Some theological trivia to end the day with!)
Comment from chcbeck
It's that time of year coming into lent and my early education flashed before me as I remember going through the stations of the cross. A very well written poem, thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2016
It's that time of year coming into lent and my early education flashed before me as I remember going through the stations of the cross. A very well written poem, thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2016
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Thank you chcbeck. Yup, I did those stations too.
Comment from busses
This captures what I know of his crucifixion to its end. I enjoyed the read and the formatting was ingenious. This was well planned and captured the History of scripture.
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2016
This captures what I know of his crucifixion to its end. I enjoyed the read and the formatting was ingenious. This was well planned and captured the History of scripture.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2016
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Thank you busses.
Comment from Kaydoe
This is a well written poem that depicts the last hours of Jesus 's life and the reaction of those around him. This was probably difficult to write a Pantygynt.
Just reading about the complexity of this is challenging. All I can say is Wow!
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2016
This is a well written poem that depicts the last hours of Jesus 's life and the reaction of those around him. This was probably difficult to write a Pantygynt.
Just reading about the complexity of this is challenging. All I can say is Wow!
Comment Written 09-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2016
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Thank you Jaydoe. Glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from Liberty Justice
WOW THIS IS A Beauty. A highly spiritual poem describing vividly and detailed events of Christ's life. So sorrowful and heart wrenching. Poem didbexcelkeny
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2016
WOW THIS IS A Beauty. A highly spiritual poem describing vividly and detailed events of Christ's life. So sorrowful and heart wrenching. Poem didbexcelkeny
Comment Written 09-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2016
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Thank you Liberty. Not sure what didbexcelkeny means though.
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Sorry. correction: You did
excellent job!!
Comment from pegesusunicorn
Well written with much imagery, you could feel yourself following beside him and see yourself staring up at him with tears in eyes. Thank you for sharing the experience.
Peg
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reply by the author on 09-Feb-2016
Well written with much imagery, you could feel yourself following beside him and see yourself staring up at him with tears in eyes. Thank you for sharing the experience.
Peg
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Comment Written 09-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2016
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Thank you Peg. I am glad you shared the walk with Him.
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you are very welcome.
Peg
Comment from Eric1
Hi Tom, this is a wonderful and well penned poem following the new pantygynt style of poem, it flows beautifully with excellent rhyming and rhythm, but the content to me was the icing on the cake my friend.
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reply by the author on 09-Feb-2016
Hi Tom, this is a wonderful and well penned poem following the new pantygynt style of poem, it flows beautifully with excellent rhyming and rhythm, but the content to me was the icing on the cake my friend.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2016
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Thank you so much Eric.
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You are very welcome my friend.