Whose Seduction?
free verse25 total reviews
Comment from catch22
This is very clever and I think will do well in the contest. You've used assonance and internal rhyming to good effect here and delivered a witty little twist at the end. Who is seducing who? Very nicely penned.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2016
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This is very clever and I think will do well in the contest. You've used assonance and internal rhyming to good effect here and delivered a witty little twist at the end. Who is seducing who? Very nicely penned.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2016
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Thank you so much. Great praise coming from one of my favorite poets. I've finally come to see why I learned all of those structured forms. The little skills do come in handy, don't they. :)) So pleased you enjoyed. Thanks so much. It's encouraging to hear. mikey
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You're very welcome and I couldn't agree more that structured forms help focus our free verse skills and poetic skills in general.
Comment from doggymad
This poem certainly give plenty of food for thought. It could refer to persons or situations that we allow ourself to be drawn into.
Great work
hugs
Freda
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2016
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This poem certainly give plenty of food for thought. It could refer to persons or situations that we allow ourself to be drawn into.
Great work
hugs
Freda
Comment Written 24-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2016
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Yes, exactly. You are right on the money in catching my meaning. You usually are. :))
Thanks a million. mikey
Comment from krys123
Mikey;
-brilliant piece of poetry with a little twist at the end were we all expected the fact that the spider was going to eat the why the fly is going to eat the spider.
- good rhyming where each of your rhyming words were contingent and supportive to the meaning and concept of each of your lines therefore helping with your rhythmic flow.
- the cadence, timing and tempo of your writing was helpful in making the reading clear, fluid and easy.
- excellent pictures to be supported, and relative to your conceptual theme and complementary to your writing.
-thank you for sharing and posting and may the good Lord be with you always.
Alex
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2016
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Mikey;
-brilliant piece of poetry with a little twist at the end were we all expected the fact that the spider was going to eat the why the fly is going to eat the spider.
- good rhyming where each of your rhyming words were contingent and supportive to the meaning and concept of each of your lines therefore helping with your rhythmic flow.
- the cadence, timing and tempo of your writing was helpful in making the reading clear, fluid and easy.
- excellent pictures to be supported, and relative to your conceptual theme and complementary to your writing.
-thank you for sharing and posting and may the good Lord be with you always.
Alex
Comment Written 24-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2016
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Thanks so much, Alex. Another detailed review hitting on a number of points. Always appreciated and always encouraging. I'm always delighted to get your take on my work. Blessings to you and yours on this fine Sunday, mikey
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you are very welcome Mikey
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
I saw this on facebook and hoped it was here.
Absolutely wonderful.
I love the personification and the last verses blew me away.
Verynicely done
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2016
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I saw this on facebook and hoped it was here.
Absolutely wonderful.
I love the personification and the last verses blew me away.
Verynicely done
Comment Written 24-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2016
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Hi, my dear friend. I kinda liked this myself. Delighted you enjoyed this and blown away myself by this awesome review. I'll try and stop by soon and pay a visit. Thanks a million!! mikey
Comment from Joy Graham
Oh dear, somebody got stuck in that web again. This reminds me of Debbie Noland's eensie weensie spider series. You didn't go the way of the spout, though. The old sticky web routine, well played!
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2016
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Oh dear, somebody got stuck in that web again. This reminds me of Debbie Noland's eensie weensie spider series. You didn't go the way of the spout, though. The old sticky web routine, well played!
Comment Written 24-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2016
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Wow. That's an awesome compliment right there. Debbie's spider series is killer. She's the queen of spiders. Hahaha! Not sure if that is a compliment. :)) Well, meant as one anyway.
So pleased you enjoyed. I'll try and stop by today. Thanks a bunch. mikey
Comment from Spiritual Echo
I drop in on a few writers silently and take a gander, and I have to say, from your roots here on site, you've grown dramatically. Being able to marry the creative callings of a rich imagination with the mechanics takes time, but you've gone past graduation. Though not my favourite genre, you excel with poetry, and this was no exception--up to the last line.
This is so chilling and sensuous, folding in a double meaning that gets personal for the reader. It had to be told from the spider's point of view--had to. Then the fly speaks. The fly didn't hypnotize or lure the spider with lies--surely it was the spider, so when you change to the fly's perspective--it burst my bubble. I'd really reconsider. Perhaps have the spider say ...I know you would die for me.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2016
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I drop in on a few writers silently and take a gander, and I have to say, from your roots here on site, you've grown dramatically. Being able to marry the creative callings of a rich imagination with the mechanics takes time, but you've gone past graduation. Though not my favourite genre, you excel with poetry, and this was no exception--up to the last line.
This is so chilling and sensuous, folding in a double meaning that gets personal for the reader. It had to be told from the spider's point of view--had to. Then the fly speaks. The fly didn't hypnotize or lure the spider with lies--surely it was the spider, so when you change to the fly's perspective--it burst my bubble. I'd really reconsider. Perhaps have the spider say ...I know you would die for me.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2016
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I do the same, kind of wander around in the background. I'm so pleased to hear from you. I read most everything you write and enjoy it quite a bit. You teach without knowing it still.
I hear you about the last line and I'll consider it. But, honestly, I LOVE the twist of having the fly being the seductor. It seems so clever to me. But clever isn't always the best route, I know. Thanks a million for stopping by. I always consider you might read something when I write it. Look what you've done to me. HA!! michael
Comment from Pantygynt
This has a gorgeous volte face of an ending. That I didn't see coming until it hit me in the face - and stuck. Something here feels almost Pavlovian (The guy with the salivating dogsI mean, not the ballerina nor the sticky, sweet desert, though thsat might be appropriate too.
Yes the spider is totally conditioned, feels the web tremble as the fly alights and must come forth to eat.
Makes you wonder just who is really in control here.
Great poem.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2016
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This has a gorgeous volte face of an ending. That I didn't see coming until it hit me in the face - and stuck. Something here feels almost Pavlovian (The guy with the salivating dogsI mean, not the ballerina nor the sticky, sweet desert, though thsat might be appropriate too.
Yes the spider is totally conditioned, feels the web tremble as the fly alights and must come forth to eat.
Makes you wonder just who is really in control here.
Great poem.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2016
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Awesome to hear. I was hoping the last line would be a total surprise and not a cheap one either. Okay, you've made my week. What can I say but thanks a million. I'll try and stop by today. I read almost all your work. If I can think of something to say besides, "WOW", I'll leave a review. :)) mikey
Comment from giraffmang
Hi Mikey,
Lots going on in here. When the hunter becomes the hunted. Great extended metaphor, and only asking for trouble.
Great presentation, and tone to the piece.
G
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2016
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Hi Mikey,
Lots going on in here. When the hunter becomes the hunted. Great extended metaphor, and only asking for trouble.
Great presentation, and tone to the piece.
G
Comment Written 24-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2016
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Hey, Gman. Great to hear from you. Delighted you enjoyed this. Loving your writing of late, you're on a real roll. I'll try and stop by. mikey
Comment from Scarbrems
Ahh, the player played, the biter bit. Think you're sooo clever, don't you, Mr Spider? Really enjoyed this game of a poem. What fun you are, with your alternative perspective and all.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2016
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Ahh, the player played, the biter bit. Think you're sooo clever, don't you, Mr Spider? Really enjoyed this game of a poem. What fun you are, with your alternative perspective and all.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2016
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I'm so delighted you enjoyed this. I did have a great time writing this. Wow. It's great when something works and goes over well. You've made my week. Thanks a million. mikey
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Oh, good. Glad I've made someone's week. Think I've just upset someone else. You've just made me feel like my reviews have some value to somebody.
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Sometimes even the upset folks will stew on it and take your advice. They usually forget to tell you and thank you though. INGRATES! Ha!! mikey
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Don't think that'll happen in this instance, but hey-ho.
Comment from nordicgirl
It is about damn time you posted something. Okay, this is great stuff. This is the Blade of old. Yes!! Love the stark lines. No detail, no hints. Let the reader figure it out. I haven`t seen you write like this in a long time. Keep doing this. Great twist that I dod not see coming. Not better than your recent love poems but a killer change of pace and right their quality wise. Blade returns! NG
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2016
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It is about damn time you posted something. Okay, this is great stuff. This is the Blade of old. Yes!! Love the stark lines. No detail, no hints. Let the reader figure it out. I haven`t seen you write like this in a long time. Keep doing this. Great twist that I dod not see coming. Not better than your recent love poems but a killer change of pace and right their quality wise. Blade returns! NG
Comment Written 24-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2016
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Ha! Blade? I haven't been called that in a few years. Okay. I'm glad you liked this. I'm reluctant to post something like this here, but I guess I shouldn't be since it's received a good response. Maybe I should just write what I write, yes? What can they do, be honest? That would be nice. HAHAHA! Thanks for the great review. What did you think, I slipped? Checks in the mail. :)) mikey
