When Blood Collides
Viewing comments for Chapter 74 "Seeking Peace"A family's love is tested.
25 total reviews
Comment from Sasha
My mother learned she was pregnant with me at her 2 month check up after having my sister. My father told me she cried the entire pregnancy. I never spoke to her about it until after we moved to Mazatlan. She said that was not true and that she was thrilled to be pregnant again...she admitted she did hope I was gong to be a boy. How strange how we let some of life's questions left unanswered and develop anxiety over them as a result. I think you response was perfect.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2016
  |
My mother learned she was pregnant with me at her 2 month check up after having my sister. My father told me she cried the entire pregnancy. I never spoke to her about it until after we moved to Mazatlan. She said that was not true and that she was thrilled to be pregnant again...she admitted she did hope I was gong to be a boy. How strange how we let some of life's questions left unanswered and develop anxiety over them as a result. I think you response was perfect.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2016
-
Thanks, Sasha. Did you come to terms with your sadness over this?
-
I never really felt sadness, it was more anger than anything. But, yes I go over it as soon as my mother told me it wasn't true.
Comment from mountainwriter49
Hi, Shari,
I'm trying to catch up with this family saga. You're revealing a very human element of parenting, an element children usually do not understand. And as you'e noted, some never get it until it's too late.
I enjoyed this short chapter. It's emotive and speaks to the hard knocks of life and its lessons. We have the ability to make lemonade or suck bitter lemons. It's good to see you're helping your sister learn the lemonade side of things.
Ray
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2016
|
Hi, Shari,
I'm trying to catch up with this family saga. You're revealing a very human element of parenting, an element children usually do not understand. And as you'e noted, some never get it until it's too late.
I enjoyed this short chapter. It's emotive and speaks to the hard knocks of life and its lessons. We have the ability to make lemonade or suck bitter lemons. It's good to see you're helping your sister learn the lemonade side of things.
Ray
Comment Written 24-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2016
-
Thanks, Ray. So many half-truths float around in anyone's life in an effort to protect ourselves. I'm pleased that you're catching up. :-)
Shari
Comment from alexisleech
I can imagine this has been tough to write. It's one thing to have memories, another to write them down for the world to see and have to make sense of them all over again. I hope your answer gave Barb peace of mind. It's just a shame that she carried that anger throughout her life because it must have hurt her to think her mother didn't want her.
Alexis xxx
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2016
|
I can imagine this has been tough to write. It's one thing to have memories, another to write them down for the world to see and have to make sense of them all over again. I hope your answer gave Barb peace of mind. It's just a shame that she carried that anger throughout her life because it must have hurt her to think her mother didn't want her.
Alexis xxx
Comment Written 20-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2016
-
It gets worse in the next chapter just posted. I felt so sorry for Barb,
Hugs too,
Shari
Comment from sibhus
Yeah, it's interesting what people say, or intend to say, and what we hear. Sometimes people aren't really trying to be an asshat it just comes out that way. Sad to think that Barb waited all that time to ask your opinion. A good chapter, Spitfire.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2016
|
Yeah, it's interesting what people say, or intend to say, and what we hear. Sometimes people aren't really trying to be an asshat it just comes out that way. Sad to think that Barb waited all that time to ask your opinion. A good chapter, Spitfire.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2016
-
Yes, she told Bobby the things that bothered her and he urged her to talk it over with me. Needless to say, it took a death sentence to get her to clear the air. But better late than never.
Comment from Muffins
Sometimes we don't need to know everything about a parent, sibling or a spouse. It appears your mother had a need to spill the beans no matter how hard they were. I also agree with this statement:"Some people choose to remember the negative messages. They focus on memories that reinforce a tortured mindset. These thoughts create a world that becomes their reality." When people do this, they miss out on the wonderful parts of their life, that person. If a negative comment or situation fits their mindset, they will hang on to it for life.
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2016
|
Sometimes we don't need to know everything about a parent, sibling or a spouse. It appears your mother had a need to spill the beans no matter how hard they were. I also agree with this statement:"Some people choose to remember the negative messages. They focus on memories that reinforce a tortured mindset. These thoughts create a world that becomes their reality." When people do this, they miss out on the wonderful parts of their life, that person. If a negative comment or situation fits their mindset, they will hang on to it for life.
Comment Written 19-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2016
-
It's so important to let go of the garbage. God didn't mean for us to be a septic tank. (not original, but I heard it and wanted to use it. ):-)
Comment from w.j.debi
What a lot of emotion to unravel and to process. It also reflects deep faith. Your sister is certain she is going to see her parents again and is trying to prepare herself for that reunion. Interesting that she finally reaches out to your for the help she needs to do it, like she remembered how well her big sister always took care of her while growing up. Also interesting is that she chose to seek this help over the safety of a phone call. She didn't have to look anyone in the eye and she could always hang up if it got too scary for her.
Excellent use of dialog.
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2016
|
What a lot of emotion to unravel and to process. It also reflects deep faith. Your sister is certain she is going to see her parents again and is trying to prepare herself for that reunion. Interesting that she finally reaches out to your for the help she needs to do it, like she remembered how well her big sister always took care of her while growing up. Also interesting is that she chose to seek this help over the safety of a phone call. She didn't have to look anyone in the eye and she could always hang up if it got too scary for her.
Excellent use of dialog.
Comment Written 18-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2016
-
Wow! A powerful insight here, debi. She hung up on me once years ago when she didn't like what I said. Glad you picked up on the faith. My sister stopped believing for awhile, then returned to the church again. I trust she found relief there.
Comment from Donya Quijote
Deeply philosophical this chapter is. It is difficult to understand that motives of people unless they reveal them. I can understand your sister's point of view. My mother told me that she wished she had sent me back. They also sent my brother away for a while for seemed like a period of fun. He went to stay with my grandparents and got to go to places I have yet to go to. It made me very angry, but later I learned my parents needed a break from brother. He was ADHD and was driving them crazy. How do you explain that to a child. I was three years older.
More to come...
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2016
|
Deeply philosophical this chapter is. It is difficult to understand that motives of people unless they reveal them. I can understand your sister's point of view. My mother told me that she wished she had sent me back. They also sent my brother away for a while for seemed like a period of fun. He went to stay with my grandparents and got to go to places I have yet to go to. It made me very angry, but later I learned my parents needed a break from brother. He was ADHD and was driving them crazy. How do you explain that to a child. I was three years older.
More to come...
Comment Written 18-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2016
-
Thanks for picking up on the philosophy. These insights come to me as I write. I find myself examining my own relationship with my daughter with its ups and downs. I've said things I regretted later.
Have you ever discussed that time in your life with your parents?
It's hard to understand some things unless you have had children yourself. That's what I regret about my daughter's decision. She'll never understand the connection, good times and bad.
-
Both of parents are dead now. And we did talk about some thing but everything. We were estranged for the last several years of their lives. It is something I do regret.
-
Be consoled. I understand from my spiritual teachings that you bond again after death.
Comment from Deniz22
Ah,yes, the joys of family. At least your tale has some hopeful aspects in it where someone wants to clear the air. Sounds like you were/are a good mediator. Where of where, however, did you get the "wisdom of old age"? LOL Missing you, but I'm back for a bit...first snow of the year on old Cape Cod. And I don't want to hear what the temp is in FL! :) JB
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2016
 |
Ah,yes, the joys of family. At least your tale has some hopeful aspects in it where someone wants to clear the air. Sounds like you were/are a good mediator. Where of where, however, did you get the "wisdom of old age"? LOL Missing you, but I'm back for a bit...first snow of the year on old Cape Cod. And I don't want to hear what the temp is in FL! :) JB
Comment Written 18-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2016
-
Hey! We get cold too. Fifty today. Brrrrr. Thanks for the six.
As for the wisdom, bad experiences can do that to you. Yeah, I had a few in this senior plus community because of ego. I've learned to shed it for the most part. A little bit is good.
Love ya JB
Mama
Comment from robyn corum
Shari,
Again, I applaud you for plumbing these depths. I don't think I could be brave enough. So, you go, girl! I didn't find a single nit, but to tell the truth, I was very caught up in the story. So sad!
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2016
|
Shari,
Again, I applaud you for plumbing these depths. I don't think I could be brave enough. So, you go, girl! I didn't find a single nit, but to tell the truth, I was very caught up in the story. So sad!
Comment Written 18-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2016
-
That's a first and good to hear. As for bravery-- ha-- that would be if I dared to let family read it. Well, most of them are dead by now. :-)
Comment from NicciFaye
Interesting, sad but hopefully. This was rather an interesting read for me. I can relate to the indifference of love received from a mother. Depending on a person's character, how you mentioned, sensitivity, can have a great affect. I wasn't sensitive. I was pretty outspoken in my behaviors. Looking forward to reading more.
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2016
|
Interesting, sad but hopefully. This was rather an interesting read for me. I can relate to the indifference of love received from a mother. Depending on a person's character, how you mentioned, sensitivity, can have a great affect. I wasn't sensitive. I was pretty outspoken in my behaviors. Looking forward to reading more.
Comment Written 18-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2016
-
Thank you, Nicci. I'm trying hard to present everyone's side of the story. It's not events that make things awful, it's our reaction to them.
