Comment from I am Cat

Excellent

Wow, lots of information in here Christine... heartbreaking. This is almost like a news article, you've got so much information in it... I almost feel like it should be several poems... it's so jam packed. That being said, and if you want to keep it one poem... wow! You've really succeeded in getting the info in there...
it would have really been nice, also to really FEEL the feelings of the people involved... you know? It IS heartbreaking, and wow, it's just devastating... the little things that happen in horrible devastation like this, are things like ... dogs standing on rooftops... little children crying... birds that have ceased chirping... snakes slinking by happily... things like that... like... life continues... kids sitting in trees eating Peanut butter and jelly sandwhiches... the things that HAVE to keep happening.. those are things that make it real. YOu know what i mean?
that might be something for you to think about if you do another one... you
know? The human factor.
This poem was so 'matter of fact'...
I'd love to 'see, feel, hear, taste, smell' the fear, the sadness...

see?

;)
(I love when people give me ideas, I hope that you don't mind either. )

((((((stay safe Christine)))))))))
just a few thoughts below:


This fast and rushing water took[,] all within its wake

Left many people stranded too, when the banks (did) break

(suggest the word "would" instead so you can avoid reverse syntax)

And help soon give,best wishes send, for these we'll not ignore. (send? or sent?)

Love and laughter,
Cat

 Comment Written 08-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Jan-2016

Hi Cat Thanks for that and yes it is like a news reel, but that is how I felt when I heard of these events, and thanks so much for your helpful suggestions I will keep them in mind for my next one. (hopefully not on the same subject though)
Yes I do know what you mean as your poetry displays emotions and feeling all the time.
I shall keep plugging away and enjoying the feedback received
I am 'sending' you best wishes and hopefully they will be sent soon LOL
Love and Hugs and of course always my Cheers Christine
PS have managed to get my 6 in for this year Yaaaaaaaa

Comment from ciliverde

Excellent

First of all, I'm sorry to hear about so much tragedy and destruction. It's all so similar to Southern California where we had heavy rain and flooding and mud slides just two days ago and this is a couple of weeks after a huge fire above a major highway.
Your town Yarloop and the rhyming "scoop" reminded me of the equipment we call the super scooper here in Southern California - it's a helicopter with a huge bucket and we drop seawater on the fires.
Meanwhile there's historic flooding in our Midwest and big snowstorms on the East Coast Boston area.
I hope all your 'Roos are okay, I can picture them hopping through all that water. Hugs and prayers,
Carol

 Comment Written 08-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Jan-2016

Hi Carol, Wow it seems that Southern California and Australia do share many similarities. I know that California is very bush fireprone as are many areas in Australia and seems we share similar weather patterns also ,because what we have here is at the same time as California, so I too feel sadness for your people. The devestation left behind takes years to rebuild and many do just to have ii happen all again ( especially in the flooded areas, it is repeated a few years later same place !. Yes the widlife are also resilient and I hope we didn't lose to many. Thanks Caro for your support and comments ,they mean a lot Cheers Christine😃

Comment from Robert Louis Fox

Excellent

Hi Christine. Your piece has a nice rhyme scheme. It's also filled with concern and emotion. It's also cautionary in it's message and filled with imagery. But let me ask what makes this a poem? Is it simply the rhyme scheme? Might it not be more appropriate to be considered rhyming prose? Isn't poetry a crafting of metaphors with allusions, euphemisms, personification, similes, and most importantly, sybolism? Lumped together, I guess what I'm missing is the figurative language that makes a poem a poem. Then again, perhaps it's all there and I don't see it. That's as likely as anything. So keep up the good work! Best regards, BobFox

 Comment Written 08-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Jan-2016

Hi Robert and thank you for your interesting review and comments regarding my poem. I think poetry is really in the eyes of the beholder and there are so many many variations with so much esoteric language and rules for writing prose and or poetry that sometimes the reader can miss the message conveyed in a simply told story. I tend to write in simple rhyme and rhythm to create a story that is simple to read but hopefully allows the reader to be able to see the story and or message that is based on actual events or from my thoughts.
I don't try to use language that is ambigious or difficult to interpret and can be so esoteric that no one can get the gist of what is written.
I guess then despite all the different styles, and genre's rules and regulation attributed to writing of any description and despite the use of or lack of linguistic euphemmisms, metaphors, allusions, personification, similes and symbolism, poetry come down the the readers interpretation.
On that note I thank you again for reading my poem and I shall keep on writing and might I say learning and trying all styles and use of words that come to mind.
With deep appreciation of your review Cheers Christine😃

Comment from dmt1967

Excellent

This poem captures the devastation of natural disasters perfectly. I think these are worse than man-made ones at times. My heart goes out to the families who loose everything. Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 08-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Jan-2016

Thank you dmt1967 for your review of my poem and I am pleased you stopped by to have a read and yes we can't do much about nature as it will destroy at will. your comments are appreciated Cheers Christine😊

Comment from rjuselius

Excellent

This is a fine piece of poetry dear Chrissy! Your words are descriptive and also a social commentary. I enjoyed your poem thoroughly.
Thank you for sharing!
Blessings!
Rebekka x

 Comment Written 08-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Jan-2016

Hi Rebekka, Thanks for your lovely comments for my poem and ai am pleased you liked its construct and glad to have shared this with you Thanks for reading thisand I appreciate you time to make a comment Cheers Christine😃

Comment from William Ross

Excellent

very nicely written. sorry to hear of the fires and flooding taking place there. it seems things like this are happening all over the globe. Prayers out to you over there.

 Comment Written 08-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Jan-2016

Hi William Thank you so much for your review and lovely sentiments .Yes these poor people are having a tough time as are many others across the world. Cheers to you too Christine😀

Comment from Brett Matthew West

Good

Should the Hunter Valley River be more properly known as the Hunter River, as it is known in New South Wales?

Also "river" should be "River" since it is a proper name.

In notes, new should be "news".

"School" should be "school".

"Hospital" should be "hospital".

"Church" should be "church".

"All the one" should be "all one".

"Tasman sea" should be "Tasman Sea". Again, a proper name.

"parts Australia" should be "parts of Australia".

"its" should be "it's or it is".

"Thank" should be "thank".

Nature has a unique way of destroying places, some times it seems much too often, as this poem depicts.

May choose to revisit these suggested edits to further enhance this poem.

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 Comment Written 08-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Jan-2016

Hi Brett Thank you for your heplfu review and I have been back to correct
several of the mistakes, however for your information also. The Hunter Region is also commonly known as the Hunter Valley a region of New South Wales and extends approx 120km to 310 km north of Sydney. It contains the Hunter River and its tributaries with highlands to The North and South. The Hunter Valley is one of the largest rivers valleys in NSW and the region is commonly known also for its wineries and coal industires.
I would refer to the Hunter Valley as this is what I know it as, hence the Hunter river is within this region. This can be confusing I know and it just how different people interpret this.

As far as my use of the word its instead of it's I find the following the reason for my choice
Its can mean it is when an apostrophe is used to make a contraction, i.e. it's a nice day but its i-t-s no apostrophe is a possesive pronoun just like hers, ours and yours none of which take an apostrophe.
Only use the apostrophe when it's is short for it is .
I have use its several time as it 's used as possessive and not to mean it is. I hope this makes sense to you. If you disagree let me know which its should be corrected.

I otherwise thank you for your corrective suggestions and for your time to do so.
Cheers Christine😃

Comment from royowen

Excellent

"I love a sunburnt country and of sweeping plains, of droughts and flooding rains" that poem rings true, comes back to thrill and cajole. I always get the impression that we are are tested to the fullest in this great land of ours. Well done, Christine, well written in great verse and better language. The descriptive text is great, the meter nice and even, aabb rhyming, well done, my friend, blessings, Roy

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 Comment Written 08-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Jan-2016

Thank you Roy so much for your encouraging review . it is alway great to hear from another Aussie who really understands our land and the forces we have no control over. I am pleased you thought i did a good job with this one. hope I don't have to write anymore. Cheers my friend Christine😃