Joe and Aunt Grace
The ghosts in my Aunt's House.24 total reviews
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
I was actually very pleased to see your author's notes as I thought I had read the piece before. It is a good one and should do well.
GMG
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2016
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Hi there,
I was actually very pleased to see your author's notes as I thought I had read the piece before. It is a good one and should do well.
GMG
Comment Written 07-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2016
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Thanks. I hope they will let me use it. Someone told me you couldn't use a previously posted story. I never put the story in any contest before this. I don't know, will have to wait and see.
Comment from jpduck
What an amazing story; I thoroughly enjoyed it.
Typos/SPAGs. (Square brackets indicate suggested deletions, and asterisks, suggested insertions):
'It was a lovely place with a wrap- around porch and gorgeous polished oak floors.' (Delete space before 'around').
' "Really,*"* I thought to myself, *"*Can't say as I blame'
'Gramma told Joe [that] on no uncertain terms was [Joe] *he* ever to bring THAT woman into the house again'
Adrian
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2016
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What an amazing story; I thoroughly enjoyed it.
Typos/SPAGs. (Square brackets indicate suggested deletions, and asterisks, suggested insertions):
'It was a lovely place with a wrap- around porch and gorgeous polished oak floors.' (Delete space before 'around').
' "Really,*"* I thought to myself, *"*Can't say as I blame'
'Gramma told Joe [that] on no uncertain terms was [Joe] *he* ever to bring THAT woman into the house again'
Adrian
Comment Written 07-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2016
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Thank you. I truly appreciate you help on my writing. Grammar is my weak point.
Comment from trumby
fantastic. Ghosts don't always have to be evil monsters who moan and rattle chains. Aunt Grace is just looking after her house.
I hope that Joe finds someone that she approves of
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2016
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fantastic. Ghosts don't always have to be evil monsters who moan and rattle chains. Aunt Grace is just looking after her house.
I hope that Joe finds someone that she approves of
Comment Written 07-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2016
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Thanks. This guy truly believes my Aunt Grace talks to him. Who knows, maybe she does.
Comment from raineywriter
An interesting story that certainly meets the criteria. I do believe in ghosts, I think. I've had some odd experiences. I have extra-sensory perception, and I'm somewhat clairvoyant. I see things before they happen. I even see stories and poems written on a page in front of me as if someone wrote them for me, but they are on themes I've been thinking about and they mention things that only I could know, so I know they come from the depths of my mind. Yes, I believe in the supernatural. And I think Claude and Grace have every right to inhabit the home and restrict who lives there. They must be shattered to see all their lovely work undone.
You've written this quite well. It's entertaining - with a welcome touch of humor. And the tension is measured to keep the reader hooked to the very end. It's grammatically correct and well formatted, making it a pleasure to read. Well done!
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2016
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An interesting story that certainly meets the criteria. I do believe in ghosts, I think. I've had some odd experiences. I have extra-sensory perception, and I'm somewhat clairvoyant. I see things before they happen. I even see stories and poems written on a page in front of me as if someone wrote them for me, but they are on themes I've been thinking about and they mention things that only I could know, so I know they come from the depths of my mind. Yes, I believe in the supernatural. And I think Claude and Grace have every right to inhabit the home and restrict who lives there. They must be shattered to see all their lovely work undone.
You've written this quite well. It's entertaining - with a welcome touch of humor. And the tension is measured to keep the reader hooked to the very end. It's grammatically correct and well formatted, making it a pleasure to read. Well done!
Comment Written 07-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2016
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Thanks. I intend to return when I can and see how Joe is coming along with the house. I would love to have the funds to buy the place back and restore it to its original beauty.
Comment from Dean Kuch
What do I think? Do you really have to ask, lol?
I believe Joe because I know for a fact that ghosts exist. I've seen them myself a couple of times over my lifetime. They weren't scary nor were they out to hurt anyone. They simply wanted to let me know that they were around.
I could get into specifics, but I won't. It would take far too long and this is about your story, not mine. Suffice it to say that one was a close relative who died in a horrible accident when I was just six-years-old, and the other was a little girl I never knew.
Your story was well written, although you may want to think of new and innovative ways to get rid of some of the conjunctions such as "had."
Other than that, I felt this was a very interesting an entertaining story. You descriptive narrative was clear as crystal, and your narration was good.
All in all, a very good entry for the contest.
Good luck!
~Dean :}
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2016
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What do I think? Do you really have to ask, lol?
I believe Joe because I know for a fact that ghosts exist. I've seen them myself a couple of times over my lifetime. They weren't scary nor were they out to hurt anyone. They simply wanted to let me know that they were around.
I could get into specifics, but I won't. It would take far too long and this is about your story, not mine. Suffice it to say that one was a close relative who died in a horrible accident when I was just six-years-old, and the other was a little girl I never knew.
Your story was well written, although you may want to think of new and innovative ways to get rid of some of the conjunctions such as "had."
Other than that, I felt this was a very interesting an entertaining story. You descriptive narrative was clear as crystal, and your narration was good.
All in all, a very good entry for the contest.
Good luck!
~Dean :}
Comment Written 07-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2016
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Thanks. Okay, I have a bad habit of using the word (had) to often. Other reviewers have said the same. I will see about removing some of them.
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It's something I sometimes get ripped by my editors for too. It's a very common habit amongst writers, it seems.
Take care...
Dean~~>
Comment from damommy
Wonderful story. It is very well written. My attention was immediately grabbed and I can't wait to hear more about the ghosts. Good work. (I only have five stars to give you. I'm sorry.)
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2016
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Wonderful story. It is very well written. My attention was immediately grabbed and I can't wait to hear more about the ghosts. Good work. (I only have five stars to give you. I'm sorry.)
Comment Written 06-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2016
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Thanks. I posted this once before with a lot more information in it. I wanted to make it shorter for the contest. I do intend to write more about Joe and the ghosts.
Comment from Kareau
This is a very nice piece, there is a lot of detail that gives the reader a good visual of the house. The story about how the ghosts interfere with Joe is cute. You may have missed one quotation mark in the sentence: "For twenty years? I thought to myself. I'm guessing the first quotation mark is not necessary but I have not been writing very long so please double check that.
I believe in ghosts or rather angels, there have been situations in my life that I have to believe someone was watching out for me.
Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2016
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This is a very nice piece, there is a lot of detail that gives the reader a good visual of the house. The story about how the ghosts interfere with Joe is cute. You may have missed one quotation mark in the sentence: "For twenty years? I thought to myself. I'm guessing the first quotation mark is not necessary but I have not been writing very long so please double check that.
I believe in ghosts or rather angels, there have been situations in my life that I have to believe someone was watching out for me.
Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2016
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Thanks. You might be right, I will check it out. Grammar is my weak point.
Comment from johngie
Having known Aunt Grace, oh yeah, its true. Aunt Grace, like Aunt Hazel always kept the house clean, clean, clean and had milk and fresh baked cookies straight out of the oven. I even have a giant snowball bush in my back yard just like Aunt Grace. Many years ago we stopped by and first thing I noticed was that bush was gone. :(
Well said Auntie. I believe Joe.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2016
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Having known Aunt Grace, oh yeah, its true. Aunt Grace, like Aunt Hazel always kept the house clean, clean, clean and had milk and fresh baked cookies straight out of the oven. I even have a giant snowball bush in my back yard just like Aunt Grace. Many years ago we stopped by and first thing I noticed was that bush was gone. :(
Well said Auntie. I believe Joe.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2016
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Thank,s Angie. There really is a guy named Joe living in Aunt Grace's house. He is kind of a scruffy looking guy but he is harmless. He is the one that tore down all the old buildings and removed the porch from the house. He claims that Aunt Grace talks to him every day. He called me a while back because Aunt Grace told him to. What do you think?
Comment from Sis Cat
I knew I read this story before. I do not notice what you have cut, but it works in this shorter form. I do caution you that FanStory requests totally new and not repackaged writing for contests, so do not be surprised if this story is disqualified. This is a haunting, true story, and I do not want to visit or stay at that house. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2016
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I knew I read this story before. I do not notice what you have cut, but it works in this shorter form. I do caution you that FanStory requests totally new and not repackaged writing for contests, so do not be surprised if this story is disqualified. This is a haunting, true story, and I do not want to visit or stay at that house. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2016
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Thanks. I don't know about the story. Iposted it before but did not put it in any contest so I thought I could revise it to make it shorter and put it in the contest. Do you think that is allowed? If not, it is not that important. Thanks for the advice.
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I would have to answer, "No," but you can wait and see. I certainly would not have mentioned it in the notes. Contest rules typically say, and I quote, "New entries only." Someone is bound to say that they read your entry before. You can try. I have had so many things disqualified from contests that I read the rules closely and ask the contest organizer questions before I submit.
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I would have to answer, "No," but you can wait and see. I certainly would not have mentioned it in the notes. Contest rules typically say, and I quote, "New entries only." Someone is bound to say that they read your entry before. You can try. I have had so many things disqualified from contests that I read the rules closely and ask the contest organizer questions before I submit.
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Yep, you were right. They disqualified Joe and Aunt Grace but not because it was a revised story. They said it had to be fiction instead of non- fiction.
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Yes, I knew it. That's why I read the contest rules closely.
Comment from Sherylsart
Fun story. Cudos to your aunt and uncle for defending their home. I am not sure if I believe in ghosts or not, but my mind is open to it. It is really sad when people let a beautiful old house fall apart. It costs less to keep it up than to fix it after it falls apart. Nicely written story, caught and kept my attention, flowed well.
There are several places where you need to fix your quotation marks. I have copied on sentence here to show an example of what you need to do, but there are other places. Read through your story carefully, look for other places where you are missing quotes. I added the quotation marks in parentheses.
"Sort of,(") Joe replied, (")I had to agree to replace the porch and paint the house white again, among other things".
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2016
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Fun story. Cudos to your aunt and uncle for defending their home. I am not sure if I believe in ghosts or not, but my mind is open to it. It is really sad when people let a beautiful old house fall apart. It costs less to keep it up than to fix it after it falls apart. Nicely written story, caught and kept my attention, flowed well.
There are several places where you need to fix your quotation marks. I have copied on sentence here to show an example of what you need to do, but there are other places. Read through your story carefully, look for other places where you are missing quotes. I added the quotation marks in parentheses.
"Sort of,(") Joe replied, (")I had to agree to replace the porch and paint the house white again, among other things".
Comment Written 06-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2016
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Thanks. When it comes to grammar I need all the help I can get. It is my weak point.
