To Cherish Thorns
Viewing comments for Chapter 68 "Souls Know"Free Verse Poetry
58 total reviews
Comment from foxangie123
A captivating picture and awesome poem that wraps around it in such a fabulous way. It says so much in the statement of the importance of listening. A soul speaks loud and clear for those who will hear. Excellent indeed.... Keep Going You Are Very Talented...
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2016
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A captivating picture and awesome poem that wraps around it in such a fabulous way. It says so much in the statement of the importance of listening. A soul speaks loud and clear for those who will hear. Excellent indeed.... Keep Going You Are Very Talented...
Comment Written 31-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2016
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Love your analysis. Beautifully put. Thanks for the awesome review it is most encouraging and appreciated. Big smiles. mikey
Comment from NadineM
Call me crazy, but rather than dissect the poem, would like to know why you told yourself you'd stop posting...
As for the written thought, I felt it was intensely descriptive of a heart and soul that knows deep love and an even deeper loss. This felt mirror-like to me and it was a painful reminder of the strength and weakness of someone in love.
I'm glad you chose to express yourself this way and share it... wishing I could write all that seems impossible to express lately.
Best wishes for a new year filled with blessings too numerous to count. Thanks for sharing this wonderfully written free verse with me.... my favorite style of writing!
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2016
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Call me crazy, but rather than dissect the poem, would like to know why you told yourself you'd stop posting...
As for the written thought, I felt it was intensely descriptive of a heart and soul that knows deep love and an even deeper loss. This felt mirror-like to me and it was a painful reminder of the strength and weakness of someone in love.
I'm glad you chose to express yourself this way and share it... wishing I could write all that seems impossible to express lately.
Best wishes for a new year filled with blessings too numerous to count. Thanks for sharing this wonderfully written free verse with me.... my favorite style of writing!
Comment Written 31-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2016
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It's my favorite style too! I love the freedom to say EXACTLY what I want to say without worrying about form and all that.
I have a tendency to post my brains out and then get buried in responses and return reviews. I just want to be a better fan this year. I'd hate to think you thought I ignored these beautiful encouraging words. Thanks so much, mikey
Comment from AnnaLinda
Michael,
Well this is a most profound and creatively
penned poem which seems a little above
my head, but much appreciated none the
less.
I must dwell in the lower levels only
recognizing truth so skillfully penned
here.
I'm writing this review to acknowledge
your talent and thank you for the
message which would take me several
more times to read to have it penetrate
the deeper levels of me.
Still I can appreciate your message on
many levels and sorry I am not able to
comment specifically on poetic points...
I think I'm "encased in regret"
Linda
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2016
|
Michael,
Well this is a most profound and creatively
penned poem which seems a little above
my head, but much appreciated none the
less.
I must dwell in the lower levels only
recognizing truth so skillfully penned
here.
I'm writing this review to acknowledge
your talent and thank you for the
message which would take me several
more times to read to have it penetrate
the deeper levels of me.
Still I can appreciate your message on
many levels and sorry I am not able to
comment specifically on poetic points...
I think I'm "encased in regret"
Linda
Comment Written 31-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2016
-
Hi, Linda
What a lovely thoughtful response. It's so pleasing to a writer to hear insights and feedback like this. It's wonderful to be listened to. :))
Thank you very much. I'm so encouraged and delighted with your response. mikey
Comment from rama devi
Second review
As requested, an example punctuation-edit:
surely, though a whisper in a prison,
souls know only truth,
words that aren't words waft on the wind,
and the fickle currents
bow to their will and intent
for the impish breeze does have one master.
the soul speaks;
the heart and mind listen,
and for a moment
all is known in certainty.
a sprite without a name
can only dance a joyful turn.
would that the heart harken purely
to the music
but hearts are healing places,
and wounds in the most delicate places
heal slowly and scars impede
a smooth touch confused by resistance.
the most well-intentioned kiss
stings when applied to a bruise;
the most-tender caress
grates across an uneven surface;
words not even known to be careless
grip tightly to a meaning
unknown but to the rhythmic beat
suddenly interrupted.
being foolish, we solicit definition
and ascribe blame
or declare innocence
when neither need be considered.
the inexplicable retaliation
to the warmest smile
garrotes the tongue
and inflames it.
venom forms in the empty well
(a space heretofore unknown)
and spews forth in a surprise attack.
war commences in
the most peaceful of valleys.
and the burn obscures
the idyllic landscap.e
the soul pines in
solitude,
ignored
love becomes a word
to bandy about,
its expression
paralyzed by the folly
of awareness.
still,
it is real,
though encased in regret
and twisted by the past.
to set it free,
listen...
First Review
Wow, what a beautiful write, dear Mikey, revealing a compassionate heart that understands and delves into the mysteries of transformational healing that happen at our most authentic--and most vulnerable--levels.
It strikes me that you must have experienced this in your own life to be able to write about it with such insight and expressiveness. Your words resonate with raw realness.
I like how you used line breaks and spacing toward to end to highlight certain word and provide dramatic pause effect. I found myself wishing you'd used more of that in the first few stanzas as well.
Great flow when read aloud, but I must admit I have to read some lines twice to figure out the intended cadence and where a sentence ends and begins. While I respect your choice to avoid end-line punctuation, I do not believe it serves the poem well, as there is a lot of enjambment that is not smooth (on first read). If you're absolutely sure you don't want to use punctuation, then another tool you might consider is line breaks, at least in the spots where the lack of punctuation might make readers stumble. Here are a few (noted in parenthesis):
surely, though a whisper in a prison
souls know only truth
(LINE BREAK HERE)
words that aren't words waft on the wind
and the fickle currents
bow to their will and intent
for the impish breeze does have one master
the soul speaks
the heart and mind listen
and for a moment
all is known in certainty
(LINE BREAK HERE)
a sprite without a name
can only dance a joyful turn
the most well intentioned kiss
stings when applied to a bruise
the most-tender caress
grates across an uneven surface
(LINE BREAK HERE)
words not even known to be careless
grip tightly to a meaning
unknown but to the rhythmic beat
suddenly interrupted
being foolish(,) we solicite (No 'e'--unless that's UK spelling?) definition
venom forms in the empty well
(a space heretofore unknown)
and spews forth in a surprise attack
(LINE BREAK HERE)
war commences in
the most peaceful of valleys
and the burn obscures
the idyllic landscape
Please note that an indentation would equally suffice (instead of a line break) to facilitate ease of read in those spots.
High notes of insightfulness---favorite bits:
but hearts are healing places
and wounds in the most delicate places
heal slowly and scars impede
a smooth touch confused by resistance
the most well intentioned kiss
stings when applied to a bruise
the inexplicable retaliation
to the warmest smile
garrotes the tongue
and inflames it
AND
love becomes a word
to bandy about
its expression
paralyzed by the folly
of awareness
Pitch perfect closing advice:
listen
Very close to a six.
Bravo!
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2016
|
Second review
As requested, an example punctuation-edit:
surely, though a whisper in a prison,
souls know only truth,
words that aren't words waft on the wind,
and the fickle currents
bow to their will and intent
for the impish breeze does have one master.
the soul speaks;
the heart and mind listen,
and for a moment
all is known in certainty.
a sprite without a name
can only dance a joyful turn.
would that the heart harken purely
to the music
but hearts are healing places,
and wounds in the most delicate places
heal slowly and scars impede
a smooth touch confused by resistance.
the most well-intentioned kiss
stings when applied to a bruise;
the most-tender caress
grates across an uneven surface;
words not even known to be careless
grip tightly to a meaning
unknown but to the rhythmic beat
suddenly interrupted.
being foolish, we solicit definition
and ascribe blame
or declare innocence
when neither need be considered.
the inexplicable retaliation
to the warmest smile
garrotes the tongue
and inflames it.
venom forms in the empty well
(a space heretofore unknown)
and spews forth in a surprise attack.
war commences in
the most peaceful of valleys.
and the burn obscures
the idyllic landscap.e
the soul pines in
solitude,
ignored
love becomes a word
to bandy about,
its expression
paralyzed by the folly
of awareness.
still,
it is real,
though encased in regret
and twisted by the past.
to set it free,
listen...
First Review
Wow, what a beautiful write, dear Mikey, revealing a compassionate heart that understands and delves into the mysteries of transformational healing that happen at our most authentic--and most vulnerable--levels.
It strikes me that you must have experienced this in your own life to be able to write about it with such insight and expressiveness. Your words resonate with raw realness.
I like how you used line breaks and spacing toward to end to highlight certain word and provide dramatic pause effect. I found myself wishing you'd used more of that in the first few stanzas as well.
Great flow when read aloud, but I must admit I have to read some lines twice to figure out the intended cadence and where a sentence ends and begins. While I respect your choice to avoid end-line punctuation, I do not believe it serves the poem well, as there is a lot of enjambment that is not smooth (on first read). If you're absolutely sure you don't want to use punctuation, then another tool you might consider is line breaks, at least in the spots where the lack of punctuation might make readers stumble. Here are a few (noted in parenthesis):
surely, though a whisper in a prison
souls know only truth
(LINE BREAK HERE)
words that aren't words waft on the wind
and the fickle currents
bow to their will and intent
for the impish breeze does have one master
the soul speaks
the heart and mind listen
and for a moment
all is known in certainty
(LINE BREAK HERE)
a sprite without a name
can only dance a joyful turn
the most well intentioned kiss
stings when applied to a bruise
the most-tender caress
grates across an uneven surface
(LINE BREAK HERE)
words not even known to be careless
grip tightly to a meaning
unknown but to the rhythmic beat
suddenly interrupted
being foolish(,) we solicite (No 'e'--unless that's UK spelling?) definition
venom forms in the empty well
(a space heretofore unknown)
and spews forth in a surprise attack
(LINE BREAK HERE)
war commences in
the most peaceful of valleys
and the burn obscures
the idyllic landscape
Please note that an indentation would equally suffice (instead of a line break) to facilitate ease of read in those spots.
High notes of insightfulness---favorite bits:
but hearts are healing places
and wounds in the most delicate places
heal slowly and scars impede
a smooth touch confused by resistance
the most well intentioned kiss
stings when applied to a bruise
the inexplicable retaliation
to the warmest smile
garrotes the tongue
and inflames it
AND
love becomes a word
to bandy about
its expression
paralyzed by the folly
of awareness
Pitch perfect closing advice:
listen
Very close to a six.
Bravo!
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 31-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2016
-
My New Year's Resolution: Don't just read the review and make the wonderful corrections. RESPOND! Hahaha.
Wow, this is just tremendous to hear. Your tips and suggestions as always are just the thing to elevate my work. Thank you.
I shy away from punctuation on these types of pieces 'cause I don't know how to punctuate it properly. LOLOL
I'm up for punctuation if you have some thoughts. The line breaks you suggested make a HUGE difference.
Hope you have an awesome New Year. Thanks for making me a better writer. Hugs, mikey
-
hanks for your enthusiastic response and considerate resolution, too, dear Mikey. Sure...I'd love to offer suggestions...take a peek in a few minutes: i'll make a second review with an example edit adding punctuation.
Have a great year too...and thanks for your enthusiastic participation on FS, enhancing the experience for many with your input and poetry. ;)
Hugs, rd
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Oh my, I almost forgot. Thank you so much, the revisions make all the difference. I think I learned something too. :))
I get daunted when there aren't complete sentences and it scares me away from punctuation. I can see now it's the same approach. I'm delighted. :))))
-
Yay! :-))))
Comment from pattipac
Michael, this masterfully penned poem about words is so deep that it demands to be heard, and listened to. Your use of alliteration and excellent word choice reflects the hurt, and balm our words have on others. Sorry I am out of sixes or I'd place one on this jewel of a poem.
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2015
|
Michael, this masterfully penned poem about words is so deep that it demands to be heard, and listened to. Your use of alliteration and excellent word choice reflects the hurt, and balm our words have on others. Sorry I am out of sixes or I'd place one on this jewel of a poem.
Comment Written 31-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2015
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Hi, my friend. I'm so thrilled you enjoyed this. Yes, you have it all right on the money. A virtual six and tons of praise always work for me. :))
Hope you have a wonderful New Year!
By the way, you gave me a four. Hahaha.
I do that all the time except it's usually a one or two. It doesn't go over well!!!
See ya next year. mikey
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Oh, Mikey, I meant to select a five. I'm on my way to correct this mistake. My vision has been getting worse. My bad, my friend. Happy New Year.
-
No problem. Mines probably worse. When I look in the mirror I look thirty. I suspect the image may be out of focus. Hahaha. But, I like the delusion much better.
May all your dreams come true in 2016. mikey
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi, Mikey
= You touch on all the human elements of love, blame, emotion that run a full gamut for sure.
=
= Stunning artwork to enhance your work.
= Love this passage...
love becomes a word
to bandy about
its expression
paralyzed by the folly
of awareness
still
it is real
though encased in regret
and twisted by the past
to set it free
listen
= Most EXCELLENT. (*<*)
******** NEW ** FYI** NOTIFICATION ********
= Many people are having trouble accessing my work on the CLASSIC SITE.
= As per inquiry = per Tom = you must access MY WORK through the NEW SITE--he will not help with this issue.
******** A member wrote Tom to tell him they could not access my work ********
=> This was his response <=
It displays fine on the new (current) version of FanStory. We highly recommend using the new version and not the classic version. Some advanced formatting will not be shown on the old version.
Thanks,
Tom
***********************************
* HAPPY NEW YEARS - 2016! *
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jackie / Jax (*>*)
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2015
 |
Hi, Mikey
= You touch on all the human elements of love, blame, emotion that run a full gamut for sure.
=
= Stunning artwork to enhance your work.
= Love this passage...
love becomes a word
to bandy about
its expression
paralyzed by the folly
of awareness
still
it is real
though encased in regret
and twisted by the past
to set it free
listen
= Most EXCELLENT. (*<*)
******** NEW ** FYI** NOTIFICATION ********
= Many people are having trouble accessing my work on the CLASSIC SITE.
= As per inquiry = per Tom = you must access MY WORK through the NEW SITE--he will not help with this issue.
******** A member wrote Tom to tell him they could not access my work ********
=> This was his response <=
It displays fine on the new (current) version of FanStory. We highly recommend using the new version and not the classic version. Some advanced formatting will not be shown on the old version.
Thanks,
Tom
***********************************
* HAPPY NEW YEARS - 2016! *
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jackie / Jax (*>*)
Comment Written 31-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2015
-
Quite a few folks have postings not visible on classic. Yep, I just switch over to the new site. I think I'm being brainwashed. Hahaha!
What a wonderful review. Jeez, my face is gonna crack from smiling!
So pleased you enjoyed this and understood it so perfectly. Thank you kindly.
The happiest of New Year's to you! Blessings, mikey
Comment from seaglass
...he soul speaks the heart and mind listens...Lots of hidden philosophy in this poem... so much about love. In the end, regardless of what is passed off as love, real love is real. I like the picture
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2015
|
...he soul speaks the heart and mind listens...Lots of hidden philosophy in this poem... so much about love. In the end, regardless of what is passed off as love, real love is real. I like the picture
Comment Written 31-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2015
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Yes, you have it exactly as intended. Pleased you enjoyed. Yeah, cool picture, huh? Thanks so much for the encouraging words. mikey
Comment from Pyrrho
The heart, soul & mind ... the metaphors of such monumental cliché proportions they are no longer clichés. Then they stretched, massaged, distorted, sometimes past recognition. Somehow they are the body language of the mind ... meaning what goes on among napping neurons and sluggish synapses.
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2015
|
The heart, soul & mind ... the metaphors of such monumental cliché proportions they are no longer clichés. Then they stretched, massaged, distorted, sometimes past recognition. Somehow they are the body language of the mind ... meaning what goes on among napping neurons and sluggish synapses.
Comment Written 31-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2015
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Always love your insights. Thought provoking and so much an improvement over, "read it, liked it"!!
May 2016 be a stellar year for you. Stop taking off by the way. You know this is where all the cool kids hang out. :)) mikey
Comment from Jean Lutz
Words so deep they stir memories of those no longer present -- and light a flame within of future ignitions. The perfect piece for ringing out the old year and welcoming in the new. May your dreams come true, my friend!
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2015
|
Words so deep they stir memories of those no longer present -- and light a flame within of future ignitions. The perfect piece for ringing out the old year and welcoming in the new. May your dreams come true, my friend!
Comment Written 31-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2015
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Wow. Thank you so much! What beautiful words to read and close out the year with.
May 2016 be the year of realized dreams for you as well.
Happy New Year, my friend. I'm all smiles. mikey
Comment from happykat4
First, I read and read this poem again. For me, it was very compelling. I felt as though love begins and all of the joys are there, along with the certainty that it will go on forever. Love becomes interrupted and the soul seems to break, needs to reflect on this love, seeing and coming to terms with what has been said or done. Yet the last words say it best. "to set it free, LISTEN." The words spoke to me as I read them. This is beautiful, sad and heart warming at the same time. Well done.
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2015
|
First, I read and read this poem again. For me, it was very compelling. I felt as though love begins and all of the joys are there, along with the certainty that it will go on forever. Love becomes interrupted and the soul seems to break, needs to reflect on this love, seeing and coming to terms with what has been said or done. Yet the last words say it best. "to set it free, LISTEN." The words spoke to me as I read them. This is beautiful, sad and heart warming at the same time. Well done.
Comment Written 31-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2015
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I'm so pleased this spoke to you. I can ask for no more and it makes my day and no doubt next year's days too!!
Wonderful words for me to read again if anyone doesn't like this. I'm going with your opinion. Ha! Have a wonderful New Year! mikey
