Family
Viewing comments for Chapter 128 "Oof!"Personal poems
10 total reviews
Comment from I am Cat
OUch! That sounds painful!
Yikes.
These octograms are harder than they look.
this is one of the most fun ones I've seen. I've
seen them written from this fun to absolutely
breathtaking (in a different way) . ;)
well done Tom
Cat
be careful out there!
Cat
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2016
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OUch! That sounds painful!
Yikes.
These octograms are harder than they look.
this is one of the most fun ones I've seen. I've
seen them written from this fun to absolutely
breathtaking (in a different way) . ;)
well done Tom
Cat
be careful out there!
Cat
Comment Written 05-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2016
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Thank you Cat. Breathtaking indeed, lol.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
I can imagine. It even hurts to belly flop in water,! let alone solid ground. And then to be able to laugh about it even though it hurt? Wow I bet that story is told over and over during family get-to-gathers. I really love octograms. They are so musical. Happy New Year! Nancy
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2015
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I can imagine. It even hurts to belly flop in water,! let alone solid ground. And then to be able to laugh about it even though it hurt? Wow I bet that story is told over and over during family get-to-gathers. I really love octograms. They are so musical. Happy New Year! Nancy
Comment Written 31-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2015
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Thank you Nancy. It certainly does come up.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
I am sorry but the picture of you falling on the snow made me laugh out loud on the last day of 2015. Luckily your ribs are healed and your ego is restored by now. Happy new year to you and your family.
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2015
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I am sorry but the picture of you falling on the snow made me laugh out loud on the last day of 2015. Luckily your ribs are healed and your ego is restored by now. Happy new year to you and your family.
Comment Written 31-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2015
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Thank you Sandra. I can laugh about it now.
Comment from bichonfrisegirl
An excellent winter poem in Octogram format that aptly conveys the hazards involved in this fun sport. The repetition of "with such a bang" made helped make the dangers crystal clear to the reader, as did your use of strong verbs ... "ran, sprang, flopped, crack". Excellent imagery created for your reader. Both picture and poem befit one another perfectly. Fave line ... "my belly flopped indignantly". :)
Thanks for sharing! Happy New Year!
bichonfrisegirl aka Connie
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2015
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An excellent winter poem in Octogram format that aptly conveys the hazards involved in this fun sport. The repetition of "with such a bang" made helped make the dangers crystal clear to the reader, as did your use of strong verbs ... "ran, sprang, flopped, crack". Excellent imagery created for your reader. Both picture and poem befit one another perfectly. Fave line ... "my belly flopped indignantly". :)
Thanks for sharing! Happy New Year!
bichonfrisegirl aka Connie
Comment Written 31-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2015
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Thank you Connie. For a wonderful review
Comment from prettybluebirds
Excellent. Boy, I bet that hurt. This is a clever little poem. Funny but, not funny. It is well written and the artwork is perfect. Good work.
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2015
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Excellent. Boy, I bet that hurt. This is a clever little poem. Funny but, not funny. It is well written and the artwork is perfect. Good work.
Comment Written 31-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2015
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Thank you prettybluebirds. I can laugh about it now.
Comment from Pantygynt
I knew nothing of this sport until I read your poem and, as a result, looked it up on the Web and saw some on YouTube. Looks like a lot of fun but your little exploit seems foolhardy in the extreme.lol.
I came across a poem yesterday that was similar in format to this except that the rhyme scheme ran ababcccb and there were no repeats. It was The Candidate by Louise Michelle on P 1 of the listing.
Knowing how you like triple rhyming it made me think of you. It would have been very effective here as the triple rhyme sequence builds to a crescendo and then the short line concluding let's you down with a bang
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2015
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I knew nothing of this sport until I read your poem and, as a result, looked it up on the Web and saw some on YouTube. Looks like a lot of fun but your little exploit seems foolhardy in the extreme.lol.
I came across a poem yesterday that was similar in format to this except that the rhyme scheme ran ababcccb and there were no repeats. It was The Candidate by Louise Michelle on P 1 of the listing.
Knowing how you like triple rhyming it made me think of you. It would have been very effective here as the triple rhyme sequence builds to a crescendo and then the short line concluding let's you down with a bang
Comment Written 31-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2015
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Thank you Pantygynt, yes, I would like that.
Comment from Joan E.
I enjoyed your Octogram with its clever rhymes as it recounted the winter tale. Your speaking in the first person added to the immediacy. Be careful on your next snow tubing outting! Again, happy 2016- Joan
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2015
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I enjoyed your Octogram with its clever rhymes as it recounted the winter tale. Your speaking in the first person added to the immediacy. Be careful on your next snow tubing outting! Again, happy 2016- Joan
Comment Written 30-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2015
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Thank you Joan. I will.
Comment from RGstar
You certainly made me laugh, my friend.
Although it may not havebeen funny at the time, you smmed it up well within the write.
The gang...the bang...and in the end, the pain.
Fun reading.
Best wishes,
RG
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2015
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You certainly made me laugh, my friend.
Although it may not havebeen funny at the time, you smmed it up well within the write.
The gang...the bang...and in the end, the pain.
Fun reading.
Best wishes,
RG
Comment Written 30-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2015
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Thank you RG. Yes, I can laugh about it now.
Comment from patcelaw
When I was about 14-16 our home was at the top of a hill and the road from the house to the bottom of the hill was about 1/8 of a mile long. One very icy day with just a little snow in the ice made of a fun ride on our sled which had runners and a steering control. Just after about 20 feet the road made a 90 degree turn to the right. I got on the sled and got a start using my hands and as I got to the turn I had picked up some good speed and was heading down the hill which was a pretty steep grade and got to the bottom of the hill in about 30-35 seconds according to my brother who was timing my run. At the bottom of the hill I had to make a 90 left, I almost made the turn but the sled turned over and I was sliding on the ice. I escaped injury thought, but didn't try the run again.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2015
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When I was about 14-16 our home was at the top of a hill and the road from the house to the bottom of the hill was about 1/8 of a mile long. One very icy day with just a little snow in the ice made of a fun ride on our sled which had runners and a steering control. Just after about 20 feet the road made a 90 degree turn to the right. I got on the sled and got a start using my hands and as I got to the turn I had picked up some good speed and was heading down the hill which was a pretty steep grade and got to the bottom of the hill in about 30-35 seconds according to my brother who was timing my run. At the bottom of the hill I had to make a 90 left, I almost made the turn but the sled turned over and I was sliding on the ice. I escaped injury thought, but didn't try the run again.
Comment Written 30-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2015
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Thank you Patricia. That sounds like an exciting ride, thanks for sharing.
Comment from Selina Stambi
that tube took off, while stranding me.
My belly flopped indignantly,
I heard ribs crack above harangue,
with such a bang.... these are great lines, Tom. Your choice of words conveys so well the painful energy behind the experience.
The final one-word line - OOF! - sums it all. Very effective.
Hope you had a good Christmas. How is Karen doing?
Happy New Year, friend.
Sonali
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2015
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that tube took off, while stranding me.
My belly flopped indignantly,
I heard ribs crack above harangue,
with such a bang.... these are great lines, Tom. Your choice of words conveys so well the painful energy behind the experience.
The final one-word line - OOF! - sums it all. Very effective.
Hope you had a good Christmas. How is Karen doing?
Happy New Year, friend.
Sonali
Comment Written 30-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2015
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Thank you Sonali. Her knee is doing wonderfully. Back still an issue.
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Will keep those prayers going. :)
