Comment from Mastery

Excellent

Hi, Harriett. Good start to the New Year here, my friend. Your writing is very well paced and the dialogue is superb. The descriptions and imagery are concrete and plausible, like:

"The serpent continued inching towards Ward. It stopped, reared up like a miniature cobra and hissed at him then it turned and crawled south of the map. It traveled slowly--straight lining and swerving until it reached a certain area. It stopped, froze, then burst into flames and disappeared--leaving a bloody symbol on the spot."

Suggestion: "Jewel walked to the door and looked through the peephole. She opened it to Ward standing and gripping a skate in each hand. (try, Jewel went to the door and looking through the peephole saw Ward gripping a skate in each hand."

Thanks again for sharing. :) Bob

 Comment Written 01-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 01-Jan-2016

Okay, I'll consider that, thanks, Bob. And thank you for the review. It's always a pleasure. Happy New Year if I haven't said it.

Comment from c_lucas

Excellent

This is one of my favorite reads. I like the sincerity of your write and how you don't overdo it. There is very good imagery. Wishing you and yours a successful new Year.
Error
Jessie before the police does (do) to prevent him

 Comment Written 01-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 01-Jan-2016

Thank you, Charlie. I'm glad you like my writing and my story. I'll make that correction. Happy New Year, my friend.

Comment from chcbeck

Excellent

I really enjoyed reading this chapter and although a newer person to the site, felt had no problems engaging with it. Your synopsis is well thought out too. Your characters are very relatable. I look forward to reading more.

 Comment Written 01-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 01-Jan-2016

Thank you so much. Really appreciate your review.

Comment from royowen

Excellent

Jewel finds an incantation in which in which she needs Ward's blood, to make it work, then she does the deed, then they find out that Jessie is hanging out in an unlivable place for humans! Jewel is impressed by the fact that Ward has quite a forgiving nature. Well done, Amhara a fascinating series, well done, blessings, Roy

 Comment Written 01-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 01-Jan-2016

Thank you, Roy for this review. Happy New Year, my friend.

reply by royowen on 01-Jan-2016

Most welcome Amahra

Comment from Jim Lorson Sr

Excellent

I have been away from this site for about a year due to health issues. I wish that I could have started this book from the beginning. This chapter has me very intrigued because of my passion for Vampires, werewolves, witches and other demons that create a fictional story. This looks to be a very good one which I will follow from this chapter onward. I have enjoyed a TV show called Grimm because of the supernatural element in that story.

Very well written with excellent dialogue, plot and a means to an end in finding Jessie Carter. Looking forward to the next chapter,,,,,,Jim

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 Comment Written 01-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 01-Jan-2016

Well, welcome back and thank you, Jim. Glad to have you aboard even late in the game. So glad you enjoyed and looking forward to having you as a study reviewer. Can't wait to read you as well. Happy New Year.

Comment from Phyllis Stewart

Excellent

I think Karl will recover, probably with Jewel's help. Jessie is in a cave and won't be easy to find. Should be an exciting chapter. Looking forward to it. :)

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 Comment Written 01-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 01-Jan-2016

Thanks Phyllis. Could seem to let of Karl end like that.