Christine's Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 47 "The Girl in Red"Poems /stories on Fanstory
18 total reviews
Comment from royowen
And a merry Christmas to you also Christine, very clever and articulately designed answer and interpretation to this fine piece of artwork. The narrative is smooth and eloquently written, with a flair and skill in rhyming, rhythmic design, it is an excellent rendition of this artwork, and a pleasure to read, well done, excellent interpretation, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2015
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And a merry Christmas to you also Christine, very clever and articulately designed answer and interpretation to this fine piece of artwork. The narrative is smooth and eloquently written, with a flair and skill in rhyming, rhythmic design, it is an excellent rendition of this artwork, and a pleasure to read, well done, excellent interpretation, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 22-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2015
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Thank you very much for your kind words and I shall accept them with pleasure. I enjoyed writing this and glad my readers find it worthy so your comments will keep me inspired to keep writing and I also send to you a big hearty Cheer and best widhes for a very Merry Xmas Christine 😃
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Merry Christmas to you and yours, and well done,
Comment from Leineco
How wonderful - a monologue of one
becomes a dialog of two!
The painter speaks with colors swirled, inviting
the viewer in, the viewer responds with words
speculating on meaning and feeling imbued -
Each ballerina dances
expressing movement's form.
Two artists meet
on the field of dreams
and speak a higher language :-)
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2015
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How wonderful - a monologue of one
becomes a dialog of two!
The painter speaks with colors swirled, inviting
the viewer in, the viewer responds with words
speculating on meaning and feeling imbued -
Each ballerina dances
expressing movement's form.
Two artists meet
on the field of dreams
and speak a higher language :-)
Comment Written 22-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2015
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Hi Leineco You have got my meaning spot on and thanks for expressing this as a monologue by one becoming a dialogue for two I like that . the image just seemed to ask me those questions .I thank you for your time to read and give me such lovely feedback .Many good Cheers to you and have a great Xmas too Christine😀
Comment from Jared_L
Wow, third piece of yours today and I am not disappointed! I didn't count the meter but as I read there weren't any places where it felt off to me and the rhyme was right on the money.
I loved the way that you were able to in a lilting way create a story from the picture and enthrall me with it as you developed your ending. I don't know if it won or not but it should have!!
Thank-you for sharing this art!
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2015
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Wow, third piece of yours today and I am not disappointed! I didn't count the meter but as I read there weren't any places where it felt off to me and the rhyme was right on the money.
I loved the way that you were able to in a lilting way create a story from the picture and enthrall me with it as you developed your ending. I don't know if it won or not but it should have!!
Thank-you for sharing this art!
Comment Written 22-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2015
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Hi Jared ,Once again I thank yo so much for your lovely review and I am so pleased you like my work. I try to be particular with the rhyme and meter ( a bit old fashioned I think but I want my reader to enjoy the flow and not having to stop because the syllable is out of time ) I enjoyed writing this and it is part of a Picture Challenge we have sent to us by Jax Franklin who has set up this whole idea and each participant supplies an image and we all write about it ( hence you will see al lot of the same image) this is not a contest as such but a bit of fun to see what everyone comes up with
I do though thanks you again and welcome to FS Cheers Christine😀
Comment from robyn corum
Christine!
I'm glad you did decide to write about this artwork (and thanks for the info! I had no idea that Lightink PAINTED this!) I enjoyed your version very much and found it to ALSO be different from what everyone else has written! Cool!
A couple of comments, if you will allow me...
1.) the light yellow font is hard to read against the red. You might consider using a darker color of red for the background, or perhaps, increasing the font and changing it to 'bold'...? If nothing else, boring old white might be helpful -- or black. I really want people to SEE what you've written!
2.) Her form continues (to) set free, an everlasting swirl.
3.) Will be our quest this very day, what will our thoughts contrive(?)
4.) (His) gentle stare just (keeps) him safe, he knows she'll do no harm
5.) He is like us just so engrossed, and captured by her charm.
--> nice!
I enjoyed this very much - and hope you'll take my thoughts as they are intended. Whether you decide to revise or not, this was a delightful piece!
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2015
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Christine!
I'm glad you did decide to write about this artwork (and thanks for the info! I had no idea that Lightink PAINTED this!) I enjoyed your version very much and found it to ALSO be different from what everyone else has written! Cool!
A couple of comments, if you will allow me...
1.) the light yellow font is hard to read against the red. You might consider using a darker color of red for the background, or perhaps, increasing the font and changing it to 'bold'...? If nothing else, boring old white might be helpful -- or black. I really want people to SEE what you've written!
2.) Her form continues (to) set free, an everlasting swirl.
3.) Will be our quest this very day, what will our thoughts contrive(?)
4.) (His) gentle stare just (keeps) him safe, he knows she'll do no harm
5.) He is like us just so engrossed, and captured by her charm.
--> nice!
I enjoyed this very much - and hope you'll take my thoughts as they are intended. Whether you decide to revise or not, this was a delightful piece!
Comment Written 22-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2015
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Hi Robyn Well this is what came to me so I am glad you liked it and once again alway happy to accept advice and have corrected the spags LOL ( I always deliberate re to and too and I know I have been shown this and even when writing it I was unsure so glad you picked this up .I have changed to colour scheme and hope this is better if not let me know.
I am not sure now if Lighink actually painted this but perhaps I 'll assume he did to keep my poem intact ? . Wow what a great bunch of writers for this challenge and it is fun to just haveca go. with many Cheers and hugs to you Christine😀
Comment from kittykatnoel
Very well written. I was wondering the same thing, what did lightink think about while painting this. Beautiful poem to go with a beautiful picture.
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2015
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Very well written. I was wondering the same thing, what did lightink think about while painting this. Beautiful poem to go with a beautiful picture.
Comment Written 22-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2015
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Hi kittykatnoel. Thank so much for your review and so glad you thought it a beautiful poem and yes this is a lovely picture so inspirational .With a big Cheers to you and Merry Xmas Christine😃
Comment from Mark Valentine
I love reading the different takes on these pictures. It provides real insight into how creative people's minds work. Your approach was ingenious - taking a step back and reflecting on the artist's intentions and the prompt as a whole - loved it.
The meter and rhyme were tight and the imagery of the poem fit the picture perfectly I thought. There's sort of a mystic, spiritual aspect to the illusttration and so imagining the swirls as Chakras fits nicely.
One minor SPAG note - I think there's a typo in line 6 (should be "to" instead of "too" unless I'm reading it wrong).
A merry Christmas to you and yours!
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2015
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I love reading the different takes on these pictures. It provides real insight into how creative people's minds work. Your approach was ingenious - taking a step back and reflecting on the artist's intentions and the prompt as a whole - loved it.
The meter and rhyme were tight and the imagery of the poem fit the picture perfectly I thought. There's sort of a mystic, spiritual aspect to the illusttration and so imagining the swirls as Chakras fits nicely.
One minor SPAG note - I think there's a typo in line 6 (should be "to" instead of "too" unless I'm reading it wrong).
A merry Christmas to you and yours!
Comment Written 22-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2015
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Hi Mark Thank you very much for your support for my work and yes what a great challenge, everyone has been so creative.It is interesting how we all think so differently ( probably just as well hey would be a bit boring to read the same thing over and over LOL) Thanks for the spag pick up Robyn also found this my old to or too issue I knew when i put to double o is was wrong but hesitated so glad you have a sharp eye. I to read all the others today also . With many ythanks again and a big Cheer to you and yours too. Christine😀
Comment from William Ross
very nice, well written good imagination easy to read flows good. Great job on this. You all have done a great job on this. Have a Merry Christmas.
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reply by the author on 22-Dec-2015
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very nice, well written good imagination easy to read flows good. Great job on this. You all have done a great job on this. Have a Merry Christmas.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2015
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Hi William I thank yo very much for your lovely review and comments for my poem so glad you thought it well done. I enjoyed thinking this up and also enjoy your great support Have a very Merry Xmas and a big Cheers to you Christine😄
Comment from Jacob Collins
I liked your interpretation of this picture, Chrissy, I have read several pieces about this and each one is different. I thought that your writing flowed well and I couldn't find any faults. Thanks for sharing...Jacob
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reply by the author on 22-Dec-2015
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I liked your interpretation of this picture, Chrissy, I have read several pieces about this and each one is different. I thought that your writing flowed well and I couldn't find any faults. Thanks for sharing...Jacob
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2015
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Thank you so much Jacob I am glad you like my take on this challenge I must now read all the others too. I really appreciate your feedback with a big Cheers to you Christine PS Merry Xmas
