Scenes
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Scene at a Singles' Bar"Pons and Ned meet at different locations
7 total reviews
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
LOL! Love this line:
That one there'd make a train take a dirt road.
Ned and Pons seem to disagree about the quality of the ladies present. I have to wonder what the ladies are thinking about THEM! Ned doesn't exactly have class. LOL!
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2015
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LOL! Love this line:
That one there'd make a train take a dirt road.
Ned and Pons seem to disagree about the quality of the ladies present. I have to wonder what the ladies are thinking about THEM! Ned doesn't exactly have class. LOL!
Comment Written 25-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2015
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As I go along Ned gets more and more off the chain. I'm trying to keep him simply ignorant , but not unbelievable. Thank you for giving this a look.
Comment from Dean Kuch
Ya know, Bill, there are few things in this life that I read that get me truly laughing. But this Ned & Pons series of yours never fails to deliver the laughs in spades. In my humble opinion, it is the funniest series of stories on FanStory, and I hope you'll continue with them just as long as you can.
Ya know, I have a pick-up line I use in almost every bar I go into.
It goes something like this:
I always carry with me one of those small, travel-sized bottles of WINDEX in the glove compartment of my car, then I'll slip it into my pocket before I go in. Only instead of the cleaner, I've substituted it for plain tap water with a little blue and purple food coloring added. You know, to get the color just right so it appear as if it's WINDEX. When a pretty girl walks by, I'll whip the bottle out and spritz a couple of shots in her general direction as she passes.
Girl in tight fitting Jeans: Did you just squirt me with WINDEX?
Dean: Yes, Miss. I most certainly did.
Girl in tight fitting jeans: WINDEX... really?!? Well, why on Earth would you squirt me with WINDEX?
Dean: 'Cause it makes it a lot easier for me to see myself in your pants.
Gets 'em every time, heh-heh...
Great work, as usual, Bill.
~Dean :)
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2015
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Ya know, Bill, there are few things in this life that I read that get me truly laughing. But this Ned & Pons series of yours never fails to deliver the laughs in spades. In my humble opinion, it is the funniest series of stories on FanStory, and I hope you'll continue with them just as long as you can.
Ya know, I have a pick-up line I use in almost every bar I go into.
It goes something like this:
I always carry with me one of those small, travel-sized bottles of WINDEX in the glove compartment of my car, then I'll slip it into my pocket before I go in. Only instead of the cleaner, I've substituted it for plain tap water with a little blue and purple food coloring added. You know, to get the color just right so it appear as if it's WINDEX. When a pretty girl walks by, I'll whip the bottle out and spritz a couple of shots in her general direction as she passes.
Girl in tight fitting Jeans: Did you just squirt me with WINDEX?
Dean: Yes, Miss. I most certainly did.
Girl in tight fitting jeans: WINDEX... really?!? Well, why on Earth would you squirt me with WINDEX?
Dean: 'Cause it makes it a lot easier for me to see myself in your pants.
Gets 'em every time, heh-heh...
Great work, as usual, Bill.
~Dean :)
Comment Written 22-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2015
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Thank you, Dean, for the humbling words. I consider them pearls of sage. That's a great opener, with the bottle. I've really only been successful with two women. My first wife jumped me when she was drinking, and my second wife jumped me when I was drinking. I'm beginning to see a pattern.
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Hahaha, well, Bill...here's mud in your eye, lol.
You're very welcome.
~Dean
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Hahaha, well, Bill...here's mud in your eye, lol.
You're very welcome.
~Dean
Comment from krys123
Bill;
-grammatically funny yet grotesquely imaginative to the point of being utterly dumb is Pons and that is not far behind.
- I actually could see this evidently happening in a bar with my past experiences when I was in my 20s.
- thanks for making me laugh Bill and may the good Lord be with you always.
Alex
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2015
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Bill;
-grammatically funny yet grotesquely imaginative to the point of being utterly dumb is Pons and that is not far behind.
- I actually could see this evidently happening in a bar with my past experiences when I was in my 20s.
- thanks for making me laugh Bill and may the good Lord be with you always.
Alex
Comment Written 21-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2015
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Thank you, Alex, for the excellent review. Bill
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You are very welcome Bill.
Alex
Comment from Gypsymooncat
Hahaha, I'm still laughing! This was excellent; I loved the way you brought out the brogue, which is no mean feat. That poor redhead lol! Red on the head like the dick on a dog ... Good God, I'll be laughing about this for the rest of the day! Excellent, excellent, excellent!!
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2015
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Hahaha, I'm still laughing! This was excellent; I loved the way you brought out the brogue, which is no mean feat. That poor redhead lol! Red on the head like the dick on a dog ... Good God, I'll be laughing about this for the rest of the day! Excellent, excellent, excellent!!
Comment Written 21-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2015
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Thank you, alpacalady, for the exceptional review. Glad I got a laugh out of you. Bill
Comment from chcbeck
Again a humorous entertaining piece with great straight lace conversation between the characters. Another enjoyable witty read.
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2015
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Again a humorous entertaining piece with great straight lace conversation between the characters. Another enjoyable witty read.
Comment Written 21-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2015
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Thank you, chcbeck, for the excellent review. Bill
Comment from Jacob Collins
I don't really read a lot of scripts but I thought that this was a good piece. The dialogue between the characters was well written although I would've liked to have known what was going around them more, what they were doing. Overall an interesting piece, thanks for sharing...Jacob
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2015
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I don't really read a lot of scripts but I thought that this was a good piece. The dialogue between the characters was well written although I would've liked to have known what was going around them more, what they were doing. Overall an interesting piece, thanks for sharing...Jacob
Comment Written 21-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2015
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Thank you, Jacob, for the excellent review. Bill
Comment from Jay Squires
Pons shoulda known better than to have Ned as his wing man. My sister used to say that "gag a maggot" line. That was back in the early 50's, so it's been around a while. I like those two guys, Bill. Though I wonder if I'm the only one who thinks the names should have been switched.
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2015
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Pons shoulda known better than to have Ned as his wing man. My sister used to say that "gag a maggot" line. That was back in the early 50's, so it's been around a while. I like those two guys, Bill. Though I wonder if I'm the only one who thinks the names should have been switched.
Comment Written 21-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2015
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Thank you, Jay, for the excellent review. I was thinking of a brain component. The pons is at the base of the brain stem. Ned I associate with some inbred "squeal-like-a-pig" guy. I may have taken Ned to far down the road this time. He may need some PR to redeem his character.
