His Father's Eyes
see author notes3 total reviews
Comment from pattipac
Suzie, this is a beautiful poem about the pride a father has for his son. It reads like a pray to God to watch over him as he grows to the age where his father will have to release him to the world. I have been away from this site, thus the late response.
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2015
  |
Suzie, this is a beautiful poem about the pride a father has for his son. It reads like a pray to God to watch over him as he grows to the age where his father will have to release him to the world. I have been away from this site, thus the late response.
Comment Written 22-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2015
-
Thank you so much! I hardly get to post anything anymore so I've been away most of the year myself. When I wrote this, his son was just born. Instead of writing a nursery rhyme kind of poem, I wanted to write one that would hopefully mean something to him when he's grown. I truly appreciate you taking time to read it and I'm so glad you liked it!
-
Suzie, I started filling a notebook of my writings for each of my granddaughters after their birth. It is filled with poems I wrote for them, and memoirs of me growing up that lets them learn a bit about their great grandparents, and grandparents, who they never got to me. My husband started writing his memoirs to be included so they will have some when they grow up. Hopefully, they will treasure this when they are older, and we are no longer with them.
-
Thank you so much! I hardly ever can get time to get on Fan Story so I just saw your review. I'm sorry to reply so late. Thank you again!
Comment from kiwisteveh
Just a first note about the example you have in your poem of the incorrect use of 'everyday' in the first stanza. Here it should be two words 'every day' - adjective plus noun. Compare that to the absolutely correct usage in the last stanza, 'everyday life'. Now the single word is used as an adjective describing 'life.'
This is a lovely poem that any new parent would be pleased to receive. It takes the form of wishes or prayers for the newborn with repeated use of 'May he....'
Lovely, heart-warming stuff.
Steve
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2015
 |
Just a first note about the example you have in your poem of the incorrect use of 'everyday' in the first stanza. Here it should be two words 'every day' - adjective plus noun. Compare that to the absolutely correct usage in the last stanza, 'everyday life'. Now the single word is used as an adjective describing 'life.'
This is a lovely poem that any new parent would be pleased to receive. It takes the form of wishes or prayers for the newborn with repeated use of 'May he....'
Lovely, heart-warming stuff.
Steve
Comment Written 17-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2015
-
Thank you so much for the review and the correction. Will change now. Thanks again!
Comment from Spiritual Echo
The vulnerability and the huge responsibility of becoming a parent are all beautifully laid out in this poem.
Great gentle flow of words that almost feels like the movement of a parent rocking his child.
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2015
|
The vulnerability and the huge responsibility of becoming a parent are all beautifully laid out in this poem.
Great gentle flow of words that almost feels like the movement of a parent rocking his child.
Comment Written 17-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2015
-
Thank you so much!
