Comment from evilynne

Exceptional

Congratulations on your win! Your poem is a lovely tale of love's triumph. It is enjoyable reading. The happy ending is great. Evi

 Comment Written 17-Dec-2015

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reply by the author on 17-Dec-2015

Thank you - perhaps I broke with tradition by not having a tragic ending!

Steve

Comment from dragonpoet

Excellent

This form is perfect for this fast paced story. I like the heart and hoofbeats metaphor. At least they didn't let the father split them up. But will she like the outlaw life.

Congratulations of the win.

Keep writing

Joan

 Comment Written 17-Dec-2015

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reply by the author on 17-Dec-2015

Thanks, Joan - glad you enjoyed.

Ys, the outlaw life is not for everyone - "What, venison for dinner again!!"

Steve

reply by dragonpoet on 17-Dec-2015

You're welcome. I would starve, or become a vegetarain. I couldn't kill deer or any animal.

Joan

Comment from DragonSkulls

Excellent

Wow, Steve. Congrats on the big win, friend. This is well worth the gold. Fantastic little tale with excellent meter throughout. You chose the perfect pic as well. Again, congratulations, S. Have a great night.

Ron

 Comment Written 16-Dec-2015

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reply by the author on 17-Dec-2015

Thanks, Ron.

Now and again I feel the urge to let my romantic side out for a little play.

Steve

reply by DragonSkulls on 17-Dec-2015

Any time, friend. You did a great job.

Comment from BeasPeas

Exceptional

This is an outstanding poem, beautifully written. Congratulations on winning the alouette poetry contest. Super job with this great piece. Marilyn

 Comment Written 16-Dec-2015

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reply by the author on 16-Dec-2015

Marilyn, thanks so much for the great review and the six stars.

Haven't seen you around for a while.....

Steve

reply by BeasPeas on 16-Dec-2015

Hi Steve. The past few weeks have been a little sparse on FanStory. I guess it is that time of year. Getting back to writing, reading, and reviewing. Marilyn

Comment from MissMerri

Exceptional

I like this type of Alouette much better than the one I tried to follow, Steve. It flows so musically and unstilted, because of the use of iambic and anapestic meter. Your story is also quite captivating and appealing. It is no wonder you achieved first place with this beautiful creation. Congratulations and Hooray! I'm honestly delighted for your much deserved win.

 Comment Written 16-Dec-2015

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reply by the author on 16-Dec-2015

Thanks, Adonna.

When I first looked at the form description I couldn't make any sense of it - it seemed ugly. Then I tried writing down a few words that just fit and stumbled across the first line of this. That was a bit of a light-bulb moment when I realised how the mixed meter could work. And the story - well that just told itself!

Steve

reply by MissMerri on 17-Dec-2015

This is a testament to your amazing creativity, Steve. I kind of had the same reaction when I first looked at the example. ;")

Comment from emrpoems

Exceptional

Excellent 5,5,7 5,5,7 meter
Good use of aab ccb rhymes
Great musical tone throughout this piece
well chosen picture to compliment the story

 Comment Written 16-Dec-2015

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reply by the author on 16-Dec-2015

Thank you.

This felt good from the start and I knew it would do well!

Steve

Comment from Adri7enne

Excellent

Wow! You almost had me in tears with this one! I think it's the sheer heroism of risking all for love and freedom. It tugs at the heartstrings. I loved it, Steve. No one can rhyme quite as well as you do. A well-earned win, poet!

 Comment Written 16-Dec-2015

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reply by the author on 16-Dec-2015

Thanks, Adrienne.

I knew I had a great combination of a story that worked and the versification to carry it off. Now I'm working on my Story in a poem entry!

Steve

Comment from Contests

A contest winning entry! A seven star rating from the Contest Committee for posting the winning contest entry.

 Comment Written 16-Dec-2015

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reply by the author on 16-Dec-2015

Thanks.

Always good to see those seven red stars.

Steve

Comment from w.j.debi

Excellent

Oh, I wish I a had a six left. This is a romantic tale as the young couple rides off together to evade her father's wrath and live their life apart.

This is an interesting form and you use it to the advantage as you weave your story. Excellent rhyming and enjambment. You know how to make it flow. Great pacing on this one.

Best of luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 12-Dec-2015

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reply by the author on 13-Dec-2015

Thanks so much for the great review and the virtual six. The poem has been well-received by reviewers - let's see if that translates across to the committee.

I don't think this form was designed for a long, narrative poem, but I am sure you'll agree it actually works well.

Steve

Comment from Serendipity!

Excellent

That is so terrific. I can see it all in my mind's eye and feel myself galloping along beside the pair. (Our was I their dog?) lol. This is only one sample of the lines I like so much: Yet my love is strong, As full as the ocean tide.
Sorry, I'm out of sixes.

 Comment Written 12-Dec-2015

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reply by the author on 12-Dec-2015

Thanks for the great review - I'm glad you enjoyed my venture into romanticism.

Steve