To Cherish Thorns
Viewing comments for Chapter 65 "And Sometimes You Just Fall In Love"Free Verse Poetry
32 total reviews
Comment from Dawn Munro
What a splendid free verse poem you've scribed for this wonderful prompt, and no, I have no intention of trying to pry the truth from you and spoil the mystery - all I know is, your poem is about as romantic as it could be! Best of luck. (Your own music, Mikey? Good on ya, mate! Beautiful!)
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2015
  |
What a splendid free verse poem you've scribed for this wonderful prompt, and no, I have no intention of trying to pry the truth from you and spoil the mystery - all I know is, your poem is about as romantic as it could be! Best of luck. (Your own music, Mikey? Good on ya, mate! Beautiful!)
Comment Written 27-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2015
-
My lips are sealed ... well, for the moment anyway. :))
So pleased you enjoyed, and found the music okay too. Not the best recording, but all I have at the moment. Thank you so much!! mikey
-
LOL. Discretion IS the better part of valor...
Comment from krys123
Mikey;
-the music I listen to is quite excellently compose despite some of the sound controversy of being equalized and compressed it sounds very good. and I really like the melody and I wish I had the words which I can only understand some of them. As a whole I think it is the next only done piece of music.
- I like your poem also and I didn't know you love me so much. Chuckle! No just kidding.
-I like your free verse poem it has depth and a signature that is your own. The signature I'm talking about is the words displayed on the page at different intervals.
-"it is a covering unknown to anyone but this lonely heart shivering in the dark in finding the surprise of sudden warmth sometimes boys are reached just like that...". These words are definitely a crush that is only known to your heart.
- thank you for sharing and posting and good luck in the contest and may the good Lord be with you always Mikey.
Alex
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2015
|
Mikey;
-the music I listen to is quite excellently compose despite some of the sound controversy of being equalized and compressed it sounds very good. and I really like the melody and I wish I had the words which I can only understand some of them. As a whole I think it is the next only done piece of music.
- I like your poem also and I didn't know you love me so much. Chuckle! No just kidding.
-I like your free verse poem it has depth and a signature that is your own. The signature I'm talking about is the words displayed on the page at different intervals.
-"it is a covering unknown to anyone but this lonely heart shivering in the dark in finding the surprise of sudden warmth sometimes boys are reached just like that...". These words are definitely a crush that is only known to your heart.
- thank you for sharing and posting and good luck in the contest and may the good Lord be with you always Mikey.
Alex
Comment Written 27-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2015
-
Thanks so much, Alex. You picked out some of the parts I liked myself. I'm way behind trying to catch up as always. I'm so delighted you enjoyed this and I appreciate the insights and encouraging words. I have your new song in e-mail and have to give it a listen if these people would give me a break. Hahaha. Blessings, we'll talk soon. mikey
-
You are so welcome Mikey and I enjoy reading your work, it's always refreshing.
Alex
Comment from flylikeaneagle
michael: you have your own style and free verse is excellent. You do well in this format. I'm sure the e.e. cummings would love your poems! I'm sure you have many secret lady writers that you admire. I like the weave into tapestry and can fall in love, in secret. I like the photos and colors that you use with the reverse theme. Great entry. Happy, blessed Thanksgiving! flylikeaneagle
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2015
 |
michael: you have your own style and free verse is excellent. You do well in this format. I'm sure the e.e. cummings would love your poems! I'm sure you have many secret lady writers that you admire. I like the weave into tapestry and can fall in love, in secret. I like the photos and colors that you use with the reverse theme. Great entry. Happy, blessed Thanksgiving! flylikeaneagle
Comment Written 26-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2015
-
Wow. That's great company. Thank you so much. Sorry to be so behind. Love all the stars, I can use them for a date with my secret crush. Hahaha. The song with this is mine. Give it a listen. :))
mikey
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
...that weave into a tapestry...
Love this part but all of it is wonderful. Very nice and I love the different side of you.
Quite beautiful
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2015
|
...that weave into a tapestry...
Love this part but all of it is wonderful. Very nice and I love the different side of you.
Quite beautiful
Comment Written 26-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2015
-
Hi, my friend. Thank you so much! I wish I was around more this year. I do sneak over and read how amazingly you've grown this year. Wow. You're just dazzling in everything. So pleased you enjoyed this. A really fun contest with lots of good entries. A couple of them are kind of scary too. HAHAHA!! mikey
-
I don't have any money but I will say thank you. I have had a lot of help. I looked at some of my first works and I cringe. lol
-
I KNOW!! Me too. :))
My God, I had no idea how to punctuate a thing when I first started. This place actually taught me punctuation. Twenty years of formal education couldn't do that! HAHAHA! I've had tons of help too and encouragement. A great place, yes? mikey
-
Absolutely right. Now there is one reviewer that I have that insists on cutting me to the quick and I don't understand why. But I guess it makes his day.lol
-
It isn't beloved Snooker is it??? He's a hoot. He's nutty as a loon. There's a couple others that can't be pleased. Yeah, it's all they have in life. Let em have it!!!! :)))))
-
I do and just laugh. Phyro is my nemesis.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
I enjoyed your poem from the image to the very end although I did not play the video. I like the color scheme well--the blue font makes the words seem like they are floating on the water along with the movement of the lines. Good job. I see no changes. Best wishes in the contest. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2015
|
I enjoyed your poem from the image to the very end although I did not play the video. I like the color scheme well--the blue font makes the words seem like they are floating on the water along with the movement of the lines. Good job. I see no changes. Best wishes in the contest. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 26-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2015
-
Hi.
So pleased you enjoyed this. I love that blue color on the black too. Looks cool. :))
Why didn't you listen to the video? Afraid my singing will hurt your ears??? Hahaha!!! mikey
-
No, the sound on my computer is not great. So I just enjoyed the words. It has nothing to do with you. I can't sing for the life of me. I will try it on another computer later.
-
I was just kidding. :)) That would give me an excuse though!!
Comment from Pyrrho
I enjoyed your poem after I copied it and eliminated the form of your presentation. It is my deficiency, but such forms detract from poems and ruin them for some of us.
Re your note on improving. I participated on this site years ago and my poetry was assessed as excellent (as I expected) but my prose (which I thought were excellent) were, in fact, sadly deficient and Fan Story reviewers helped me to improve in fantastic ways.
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2015
|
I enjoyed your poem after I copied it and eliminated the form of your presentation. It is my deficiency, but such forms detract from poems and ruin them for some of us.
Re your note on improving. I participated on this site years ago and my poetry was assessed as excellent (as I expected) but my prose (which I thought were excellent) were, in fact, sadly deficient and Fan Story reviewers helped me to improve in fantastic ways.
Comment Written 26-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2015
-
Most appreciated that you took the time. You're not alone, more than one are a bit put off by the staggered lines. So thanks for working with it. You're so correct about improving. If you can develop a little thicker skin and listen to the truth you CAN get way better. I read some prose I wrote two years age, downright embarrassing. And they told me it was!! Well, I listened and learned a thing or two and it's better now. Still have my ears open. Thanks a million. mikey
Comment from AnnaLinda
Mike,
Your words seem to flow "without agenda" (Loved that part)
I like your free verse style and how you have formatted on
the page. You've penned "pure and simple strands of truth"
with a real sincerity.
I like your occasional rhymes in it and your song was
beautiful! Your voice is very nice...you wrote the lyrics
as well?
This makes for a really superb entry for the "My Secret Fanstory Crush"
Mmm...now I'm curious.
Linda
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2015
|
Mike,
Your words seem to flow "without agenda" (Loved that part)
I like your free verse style and how you have formatted on
the page. You've penned "pure and simple strands of truth"
with a real sincerity.
I like your occasional rhymes in it and your song was
beautiful! Your voice is very nice...you wrote the lyrics
as well?
This makes for a really superb entry for the "My Secret Fanstory Crush"
Mmm...now I'm curious.
Linda
Comment Written 26-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2015
-
Wow. What encouraging words. Yes, the lyrics are mine. I kind of made them up as I played, I already had the little melody and was playing around with it. :))
A fun contest. Thank you so much. Curious, eh? Well, keep reading for clues. Ha!! mikey
Comment from Sis Cat
An effective poem. Yes, you can develop a secret FanStory crush, although I have been spared this delerium. Like minds can find one another here. You also warn that words can deceive. Thank you for sharing this crush poem. I wish you success in the contest.
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2015
|
An effective poem. Yes, you can develop a secret FanStory crush, although I have been spared this delerium. Like minds can find one another here. You also warn that words can deceive. Thank you for sharing this crush poem. I wish you success in the contest.
Comment Written 26-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2015
-
Yes, great insights. It can be a lovely delerium I assure you. Ha!
A fun contest, it seems I was being more coy than I thought. Some rather hot entries. :)) mikey
Comment from Dawny53
Hello Michael.. I so enjoyed reading this morning, and I just wanted to take some time and thank you for posting it.. what a lovely selection of words and thoughts.. reminds me of what it really is like to fall in love!
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2015
|
Hello Michael.. I so enjoyed reading this morning, and I just wanted to take some time and thank you for posting it.. what a lovely selection of words and thoughts.. reminds me of what it really is like to fall in love!
Comment Written 26-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2015
-
Hi. What sweet words to hear. I'm so pleased you found this to your liking. It's based on truth, so I'm glad it rings true. :))
Thank you so much, mikey
Comment from rama devi
I did not find this overlong, dear Mikey - it might appear to take more space on the page but that's due to extra line breaks (deftly used to enhance cadence and flow!)
Fun spontaneous rhyme here:
if that is the intention
of their invention
***(consider line break here for dramatic pause effect)
men know this all too well
Love this:
but then words can climb
an ascension
when they flow without agenda
a heart that empties
a soul in flight
a mind in thought unencumbered or slumbered
(Another fun random rhyme...)
This is well voiced and sweet:
in innocence, a like mind might encounter words
and see--
a heart
a soul
thoughts
NICE:
pure and simple strands of truth
that weave into a tapestry
Nice dramatic effect with WARMTH paused after SUDDEN. Very effective:
it is a covering unknown to any but this lonely heart
shivering in the dark and finding the surprise of sudden
warmth
Insightful and well voiced...an nice assonance between reached and speak:
sometimes boys are reached just like that
before the more foolish parts of them
can speak
I like the closing note in these lines:
but sometimes
you can fall in love
just like that
in secret
(and I think the word SECRET makes a more powerful ending than the current one)
I like the reference to writing, too:
maybe a poem
maybe a story
But I did not feel
yes ... right here
makes a good last note.
Just my two cents.
That's all I suggest trimming.
Good luck in the contest.
Warmly, rd
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2015
|
I did not find this overlong, dear Mikey - it might appear to take more space on the page but that's due to extra line breaks (deftly used to enhance cadence and flow!)
Fun spontaneous rhyme here:
if that is the intention
of their invention
***(consider line break here for dramatic pause effect)
men know this all too well
Love this:
but then words can climb
an ascension
when they flow without agenda
a heart that empties
a soul in flight
a mind in thought unencumbered or slumbered
(Another fun random rhyme...)
This is well voiced and sweet:
in innocence, a like mind might encounter words
and see--
a heart
a soul
thoughts
NICE:
pure and simple strands of truth
that weave into a tapestry
Nice dramatic effect with WARMTH paused after SUDDEN. Very effective:
it is a covering unknown to any but this lonely heart
shivering in the dark and finding the surprise of sudden
warmth
Insightful and well voiced...an nice assonance between reached and speak:
sometimes boys are reached just like that
before the more foolish parts of them
can speak
I like the closing note in these lines:
but sometimes
you can fall in love
just like that
in secret
(and I think the word SECRET makes a more powerful ending than the current one)
I like the reference to writing, too:
maybe a poem
maybe a story
But I did not feel
yes ... right here
makes a good last note.
Just my two cents.
That's all I suggest trimming.
Good luck in the contest.
Warmly, rd
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 26-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2015
-
I'm always so delighted to receive one of your reviews. You just notice everything!!! It's so encouraging especially since I do most of it on purpose now. :)) I remember when it was mostly by accident. Ha! But had you not pointed it out, I wouldn't have known which were the good things to continue doing.
Agree with the ending. I just added the little tag line for the contest really. A way to tie it in to Fanstory like a little wink. I'll remove it afterwards. It doesn't fit in any other context, you're right.
Did you listen to the little video? Or have you had quite enough of my singing. Hahaha! Thank you so much. mikey
-
Thanks for your warm and gracious reply, dear Mikey. That last line did indeed read like a little wink! Totally makes sense that it was for the contest (I figured as much). I would like to listen to the video. I admit I did not yet... ad now, after a long Thanksgiving party, my jet lag is dragging me to bed...I'm seeing double! Won't even be answering my reviews now...so tomorrow...will let you know.
Love, rd
-
Sweet dreams. :)) I'm about to eat ridiculous amounts of food myself.... hugs, mikey
-
Enjoy! zzzzz
-
PS Hugs!
-
Yep--ate way to much! Ough. Wish I hadn't! Hugs, rd
