Comment from chasennov

Excellent

An almost perfect visit. A chapter in the book When Blood Collides. An Inappropriate Question.' This is another excellent insight into the family manipulations, Shari. I loved it. Very well done.

 Comment Written 04-Nov-2015

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reply by the author on 05-Nov-2015

Thanks, chasennov. Appreciate the response.

reply by chasennov on 05-Nov-2015

You are most welcome, Shari.

Comment from Glasstruth

Excellent

How a family gets along is a very delicate situation. You explained your side of the story well, but wasn't able to get into Jeff's head. I bet on how that day went would be different from his point of view. I did think the remark Jeff made about your husband was dumb. The dialogue is quite natural. Overall, a great chapter. Les

 Comment Written 04-Nov-2015

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reply by the author on 05-Nov-2015

I would have to tell it in third person to get in his head.
Frankly, from what I've seen, I don't want to go there. When my mother talked to him for awhile, she said, "I'd like to get inside your head."
He answered. "No you wouldn't." What does that tell you!

reply by Glasstruth on 05-Nov-2015

I guess critiquing is suggesting on how you should've written it. Your chapter is really just fine. Basically, I'm seeing it if I wrote it, and thinking what would I do? Don't know. :)

reply by the author on 06-Nov-2015

That's good. Prose and poetry should draw the reader in and make him think.
Shari
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Comment from w.j.debi

Excellent

That the visit went to so well with Jeff behaving himself is quite the feat. He cannot seem to help himself with the comments though. It sounds like you had a lovely time at the beach, especially when you were there alone.
I love my dog, but I have to agree with you that sleeping with it is not something I want to do.

You do leave quite the teaser for the next chapter...

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 Comment Written 04-Nov-2015

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reply by the author on 05-Nov-2015

Thanks, w.j. Some people love to sleep with their pets. I do let my cat on the bed if she wants to come. She doesn't move at all.

Comment from Curly Girly

Excellent

Whoa! What a cheek--asking if you thought your husband could be gay!!! I hope Jeff wasn't toying with the idea for himself. Plenty of two-way-traffic guys out there.

Suggestions:
No way did I want to see Jeff to see me in a bathing suit.
No way did I want Jeff to see me in a bathing suit.

No sunbathers in late afternoon,. no boom boxes
No sunbathers in late afternoon, no boom boxes



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 Comment Written 04-Nov-2015

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reply by the author on 05-Nov-2015

Thanks ever so much for seeing my typos.
What cheek is right! Wish I could have thought of a smart ass answer, but I was too dumbfounded.