Comment from I am Cat

Exceptional

Carol,
This is a WONDERFUL pantoum! You've outdone yourself! I absolutely love it!
So well done and with such ease of shifting lines...
(well suited for shifting shadows, eh?) lol

I love the shifting line of: ' A shifting step, the sound is sly', and 'heart stops as terror draws nearby'...

the beginning and ending line of: ' a sunless specter hovers near' is very effective.
You've outdone yourself my dear woman!
;)

I am thrilled to bestow this six to you.... and I look forward to getting my own poem in this damn book! LOL
;)
Well done
Cat

 Comment Written 08-Nov-2015

---

reply by the author on 08-Nov-2015

Watch out, my dear Cat, once you stray to the dark side you may never come back!
My husband is not too pleased with my recent works - too dark, he says. "Why can't you write happy poems?" He says. Hee hee - this is too much fun :)
Thank you so much for the wonderful compliments. I'm so happy that I finally pieced together a Pantoum that works! Third time's the charm I guess (Reading Aloud and Thousands of Oaks were my first attempts) - bastardized pantoums :)
I cannot wait to see YOUR dark poem!
Carol

reply by I am Cat on 08-Nov-2015

LOL, well, I've liked your bastardized poems. (some of my favorite people are bastards as well... what does that say about me?) ;)

As for dark, i've written a few, and I must say, they ARE great fun to write! I'm sure you've read Dean's post for today? It's amazing. ;)

Well done on your pantoum, I think it's amazing, I sent gynt after it, and he's impressed as well. Says you're a pretty amazing poet. (I have to agree with that) ;)

reply by the author on 08-Nov-2015

Oh, Dean's poem is amazing!! He is just so, so talented.
Thank you so much for being as supportive as you are - you and Gynt are so amazing. Great poets and wonderful people. :) :)

Comment from JanPerry

Excellent

I like the word specter as well. I don't know what it means exactly and have never used the word in my life. But it seems to serve its purpose here and draws one in to the fear that you need the Lord to help you with.
thanks for the read.

 Comment Written 03-Nov-2015

---

reply by the author on 03-Nov-2015

Hi, specter is not a word I tend to use often either. Although I am known for bringing strange words into everyday conversation. The Merriam Webster definition is good. "a visible disembodied spirit : ghost. Something that haunts or perturbs the mind."

I tend to use the dictionary a lot when writing poems :)
Carol

reply by JanPerry on 04-Nov-2015

Yes, I find the dictionary a necessity if I write a poem. Thanks.

Comment from c_lucas

Excellent

A master wordsmith has the talent (if you want to call it that) to bring things to life with his creative skills. This the very well written with an interesting flow of words.

 Comment Written 03-Nov-2015

---

reply by the author on 03-Nov-2015

Hi, interesting comment. I don't know if it's talent or luck sometimes. I used to feel that way about tests in grad school too - haha.
Thanks for the review! :)
Carol

reply by c_lucas on 03-Nov-2015

You're welcome, Carol. Charlie

Comment from MacMhuirich

Excellent

Wow, what a well written poem. It radiates fear from the first stanza which it sustains to the last stanza. Good rhythm, rhyme and flow and a real joy to read.
I know not what, but still I fear
For safe retreat I hope and pray
The day grows dim, no light appears
Oh Lord, help me to find my way
Thank you for sharing your wonderful talent.
Bless you
John

 Comment Written 03-Nov-2015

---

reply by the author on 03-Nov-2015

Thank you so much John, I like to hint at scary things rather than describing them. A word to God, or a positive affirmation, never hurts, in good times and bad :)
Have a wonderful day,
Carol

Comment from Pearl Edwards

Excellent

I like Pantoums and I enjoyed this dark Pantoum. Like the opening and closing line of the -sunless spectre - creates a good dark vision straight away for the reader. A Great chapter in this book.

 Comment Written 03-Nov-2015

---

reply by the author on 03-Nov-2015

Thank you so much, I like Pantoums myself although until now, they have evaded me. I mean, I tried to write them but in the end they didn't make sense. So glad you enjoyed this one :)
Carol

Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose

Excellent

Hello :)

I love horror and dark poems, stories and movies. This is a beautiful poem about depression. I know depression well. Excellent rhyme and meter. Well chosen words to convey the sorrow and melancholic. Good job!
Gypsy

 Comment Written 02-Nov-2015

---

reply by the author on 02-Nov-2015

Thanks for the comments, Gypsy, much appreciated!
Carol

Comment from TomyKan

Excellent

A well written poem that captures the fear from the beginning and keeps us riveted to the end. Good rhythm, rhyme and flow.

 Comment Written 02-Nov-2015

---

reply by the author on 02-Nov-2015

Thank you for the review, much appreciated!
Carol

Comment from doggymad

Exceptional

Carol this was incredible. Would have been a great entry for the Halloween contest.

Wonderful picture painted of a more ethereal spirit than the spook vampire/werewolf stuff.

I loved it

hugs
Freda

 Comment Written 02-Nov-2015

---

reply by the author on 02-Nov-2015

Thank you Freda for this most wonderful review!! I gave myself a break from contests b/c I never win and it uses up extra $$ - haha. I like the ethereal haunting better than something that is overtly grisly or scary - as you said. Dean scared the crap out of me with his last poem about the creepy child! Lol.
Thanks again, you made my day with this sweet review :)
Carol

reply by doggymad on 02-Nov-2015

He scared you? I picked up my laptop to see what was sizzling under it doh!

xxx
Freda

Comment from Dean Kuch

Exceptional

"A sunless specter hovers near
A shifting step, the sound is sly
My sanity a thin veneer
Heart stops as terror draws nearby"

I was hooked from the start on this chilling, well written rhyming verse, Carol. I could have stopped right there--at the very start--and awarded you six stars simply for the atmosphere you've created in that frightening first stanza. But, I decided to press on...

Not only is this a very well crafted Pantoum, it is a horrifying, well crafted Pantoum which, for me, made it all the better. The ending and the way you tired in all of the lines that are required in the Pantoum form was brilliantly conceived.

So, having said all that, I humbly step back, bow at the waist, and scream, "BRAVO!" at the top of my voice.

You do darkness proud...

Thanks so much again for your fantastic contribution to Shifting Shadows..

~Dean

 Comment Written 01-Nov-2015

---

reply by the author on 01-Nov-2015

DEAN...thank you so much for this wonderful review - I am honored and humbled by your words. I have to say, with the inspiration from you and others including Cat, Gynt, Tony Fawkus, mfowler, Ellen (Barking Dog)...I am learning how to be a poet. I am honored to have a piece of work within your book, which is such a fantastic project. I haven't had so much fun in years.
Thank you, my friend. This has made my day...heck, my WEEK!!!
I hope you had a frightful Halloween and are now enjoying a restful, contemplative All Saints Day :)

reply by Dean Kuch on 01-Nov-2015

Oh believe me when I tell you this, Carol. The pleasure was all mine and I was more than happy to do it.

I postewd a few pics on my profile page from the Halloween costume/birthday party I attended last night. We had a great time made even more so for me because I took first place in the adult male costume. If you decide to look, I am the handsome one in the Pumpkin King's costume, LOL. The Grim Reaper, my nephew who is in the same photo, took second place.

Again, you're more than welcome, and thanks for a fantastic addition to our book!

Warmest wishes
~Dean :}

Comment from --Turtle.

Excellent

Hi ciliverde,

I read through this poem, funny how a muse will steal an artist off their path. I really enjoyed the theme of this poem, as I tend to think poetry allows for people to sketch very abstract or hard to define ideas with imagery and comparisons. How others experience depression is one concept that I read about and try to better fathom. That this poem then transformed into more of haunting made me think how depression in a personified form can sometimes seem.

A sunless specter hovers near (On a side note, this line, I thought about the depression medicine commercials that depict a black cloud chasing some person, until they take the medication being sold, that is... )

The poetry form here does well to jostle in a way where anxiety and confusion and repetition add to and enhance the theme of being haunted and daunted, seeking light, fearing and no clear escape.

 Comment Written 01-Nov-2015

---

reply by the author on 01-Nov-2015

Hi Turtle,
Because I have occasional depression, I have been wanting to write about it but it's hard to start sometimes. Well, Dean's book got me thinking about a dark, scary poem, and what's more dark than depression? Especially when it could also be about a dark spirit lurking around. The image is an illustration by Gustave Dore for Poe's The Raven - always inspirational.
The commercials make me laugh, how someone looks so down in the mouth, then suddenly they're playing with the dog, going bike riding, laughing like an idiot - Lol.
I think subject works well with repetition, and not every subject will. The funny thing about depression is, you cannot reason yourself out of it. The only way out is to begin thinking about something else. (break that repeating cycle),
Thanks for your thoughts!
Carol