Shifting Shadows. Poems of Darkness
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Murder Suicide"A collection of dark poetry
13 total reviews
Comment from Selina Stambi
Hello Leslie,
Life has become so cheap, hasn't it? You've dramatically recreated a situation that is reported all too often in the media.
Good aabb rhyme in your quatrains.
Disturbing. Nicely done.
Sonali :)
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2015
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Hello Leslie,
Life has become so cheap, hasn't it? You've dramatically recreated a situation that is reported all too often in the media.
Good aabb rhyme in your quatrains.
Disturbing. Nicely done.
Sonali :)
Comment Written 11-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2015
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Thank you Selina, I agree, it is a disturbing situation.
Comment from papa55mike
I love the poem and the picture. Very dramatic scene and I love the rhyme.
We can't hide under the veil too long or we become a part of the darkness. That's a great point you make.
Have a great Sunday and God bless.
mike
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2015
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I love the poem and the picture. Very dramatic scene and I love the rhyme.
We can't hide under the veil too long or we become a part of the darkness. That's a great point you make.
Have a great Sunday and God bless.
mike
Comment Written 08-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2015
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Thank you Mike for this great review and six stars. I like that you picked up on the veil of darkness. I am ready for some "Light" poems - I definitely prefer inspiring others with positive messages. Been off site for a wee. I will catch up on your posts later this week after I finish a few errands. Thanks again! I appreciate your reading and reviewing.
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
You express the reality of the internal horror beautifully and are so very right in that this is becoming more and more a common place occurrence. It is what comes of seeking happiness and nourishment from another rather than drawing strength and completeness from within through a higher power. Nicely done and I thank you very much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2015
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You express the reality of the internal horror beautifully and are so very right in that this is becoming more and more a common place occurrence. It is what comes of seeking happiness and nourishment from another rather than drawing strength and completeness from within through a higher power. Nicely done and I thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 30-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2015
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Thank you Mystic Angel for this very enlightened review. Enjoy your weekend.
Comment from lightink
I feel like it's more than being mentally unstable - there has to be an extra kick of evil for something like this to happen! So hard to read and witness something like this from the inside of that rotten mind! The most fascinating about this poem is the simple, almost "matter of fact" language! It creates quite a contrast!
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2015
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I feel like it's more than being mentally unstable - there has to be an extra kick of evil for something like this to happen! So hard to read and witness something like this from the inside of that rotten mind! The most fascinating about this poem is the simple, almost "matter of fact" language! It creates quite a contrast!
Comment Written 29-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2015
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Thanks, lightink - this one was a bit too evil for me! I need to get back to my peaceful, higher vibration peace and love poems!
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I think I could use one of those! Please post it soon :)
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Ghosts, zomnies, ghouls, vampires, Halloween fare is o.k. but I' done I think with the dark real ones, unless it is a socially relevant theme -one that raises awareness. Otherwise, I feel like people like you and I have worked to overcome any darkness and be a "light" in this world.
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Yes, I am getting Halloweened out! :) But I am still planning to write at least one Halloween piece of my own. I have three ideas - they are still competing!
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Darn, it just didn't send mine and erased. I have to learn to copy before sending. I do enjoy Halloween. I just went to the Day of the Dead annual festival at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery. It is very upbeat, native Indian costumed dancers, crafts, face painting, music, food, costumes. The sites are decorated and there is a contest for the best site and best costumes. I have gone the last three years. This year I went as a hippie - peacenik what else!! I look forward to reading yours when done.
Comment from I am Cat
Yeah, at least two of us here on the site have lost someone in the last few months this way. Not murder/suicide... just suicide by rope...so this is a tough on.
My poem, "I Mourn You" was written about it... Mark (mfowler) also has written a poem and at least one story (I think two) about his good friend who hung himself within the last few months. My friend, Sharon, just in the last couple of months.
So yeah... this is a little too fresh for me... but it's well written, as always Leslie. ((((hugs))))
Cat
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2015
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Yeah, at least two of us here on the site have lost someone in the last few months this way. Not murder/suicide... just suicide by rope...so this is a tough on.
My poem, "I Mourn You" was written about it... Mark (mfowler) also has written a poem and at least one story (I think two) about his good friend who hung himself within the last few months. My friend, Sharon, just in the last couple of months.
So yeah... this is a little too fresh for me... but it's well written, as always Leslie. ((((hugs))))
Cat
Comment Written 29-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2015
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Sorry to hear that Cat. Truthfully, this poem did not start out with that theme - just the first line popping in my head, after writing the first poem for Deans book, wondering if there was another. I just followed it where it wanted to go. Although I enjoyed the challenge of writing the first poem for the book, I found this one too dark and even though I did know someone this happened to, I decided I do not enjoy writing about such disturbing matters. In fact, I had trouble going to sleep last night, not sure if it I was a phone call from a friend or anxiety about the negativity in the poem. I can enjoy writing Halloween type poems but this was too close to home and reality for me too, so I understand your reaction. I think I am done with the horror poems, at least for now! ((((hugs))))
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((((((aw)))))) I think horror is one thing.... but when it's based in reality... yeah, I'm out too. I'm more for the supernatural stuff that I don't believe in. I'm all about that. ghosts and ghouls... zombies and crap... but this sort of thing is too real. :(
(((((((hugs)))))))
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Empaths can't do that sort of thing... its sticks with us... :(
Comment from Linda Engel
It happens all too often. People get overly obsessed with another and the slightest pulling away, due to you being over bearing, can set the weirdo off. Next thing you know you have a double murder or murder/suicide on your hands.
It's a little sinister and creepy but that's what it's all about. Good job.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2015
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It happens all too often. People get overly obsessed with another and the slightest pulling away, due to you being over bearing, can set the weirdo off. Next thing you know you have a double murder or murder/suicide on your hands.
It's a little sinister and creepy but that's what it's all about. Good job.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2015
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Thanks, Linda - I agree it is creepy and sinister and too close to reality.
Comment from OnyxSapphire78
You are so right this horror happens in life. I was in an abusive relationship and feel lucky to have left alive. There was something very evil about him. I shudder just thinking about it.
Your poem is so very intense and gruesome and powerful. The rhyme scheme you chose worked very well. You worded everything perfectly. Nicely done.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2015
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You are so right this horror happens in life. I was in an abusive relationship and feel lucky to have left alive. There was something very evil about him. I shudder just thinking about it.
Your poem is so very intense and gruesome and powerful. The rhyme scheme you chose worked very well. You worded everything perfectly. Nicely done.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2015
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Thank you Onyx Saphire78, I am glad you got out safely - that's what matters.
Comment from w.j.debi
This is a sad commentary on what can happen if someone is emitinally involved and unstable. An emotional subject for certain.
Excellent end rhyming in the aabb pattern of your quatrains.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2015
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This is a sad commentary on what can happen if someone is emitinally involved and unstable. An emotional subject for certain.
Excellent end rhyming in the aabb pattern of your quatrains.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2015
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Thanks w.j. debi. Yes, it is sadindeed.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello,
Your poem is indeed dark. I am sorry to hear that this happened in real life, it is such a tragedy. Solid rhyme and met. Good job!
Gypsy
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2015
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Hello,
Your poem is indeed dark. I am sorry to hear that this happened in real life, it is such a tragedy. Solid rhyme and met. Good job!
Gypsy
Comment Written 28-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2015
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Thanks Gypsy Blue Rose. it is a very dark subject and too often happens in real life.
Comment from Dean Kuch
I once knew a young, beautiful, 17 year-old vivacious and bubbly young girl who I will call "Tiffany" here for anonymity's sake in my review. She and my daughter were the very best of friends in high school. On a social site which shall also remain nameless, it was posted that Tiffany had come "out of the closet" and exposed to another friend (not my daughter) that she was gay. Tiffany told this other girl she had strong feelings for this girl that went far beyond the boundaries of friendship. The girl mocked her, made fun of Tiff with vicious, brutal attacks and allegations, some of which were later discovered o be untrue.
Tiffany went home one day after another day of being ridiculed and tormented by bullies at school, and hung herself in the attic of their home. She hanged there for two days before she was discovered. Her mother was divorced and worked the night shift at a nursing home with my ex-wife's mother, and it wasn't unusual for Tiff to disappear without telling her mother or anyone else where she was going. It was the stench of her bloated body--her young, dead seventeen-year old decaying corpse--that caused her older brother to climb the attic stairs and discover her hanging there.
Suicide is fast becoming an epidemic in our society, especially amongst the young.
I could not help but think of "Tiffany" as I read your chilling poem. I like to think her spirit still roams within the walls of her childhood home, happy and carefree as she was normally in life...until the bitter end.
Thank you again for yet another great addition to what is now "our book", Leslie.
With admiration and gratitude...
~Dean
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2015
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I once knew a young, beautiful, 17 year-old vivacious and bubbly young girl who I will call "Tiffany" here for anonymity's sake in my review. She and my daughter were the very best of friends in high school. On a social site which shall also remain nameless, it was posted that Tiffany had come "out of the closet" and exposed to another friend (not my daughter) that she was gay. Tiffany told this other girl she had strong feelings for this girl that went far beyond the boundaries of friendship. The girl mocked her, made fun of Tiff with vicious, brutal attacks and allegations, some of which were later discovered o be untrue.
Tiffany went home one day after another day of being ridiculed and tormented by bullies at school, and hung herself in the attic of their home. She hanged there for two days before she was discovered. Her mother was divorced and worked the night shift at a nursing home with my ex-wife's mother, and it wasn't unusual for Tiff to disappear without telling her mother or anyone else where she was going. It was the stench of her bloated body--her young, dead seventeen-year old decaying corpse--that caused her older brother to climb the attic stairs and discover her hanging there.
Suicide is fast becoming an epidemic in our society, especially amongst the young.
I could not help but think of "Tiffany" as I read your chilling poem. I like to think her spirit still roams within the walls of her childhood home, happy and carefree as she was normally in life...until the bitter end.
Thank you again for yet another great addition to what is now "our book", Leslie.
With admiration and gratitude...
~Dean
Comment Written 28-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2015
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Thanks, Dean. So sorry to hear about "Tiffany. Bullying can have such a devastating effect on vulnerable teens. I did not start out to write about this - just heard the opening line and followed the poem where it wanted to go. Truthfully, it was to dark and disturbing for me. I enjoy reading your poems, but found this one heavy and oppressive for me. I need to get back to some poems with a "higher vibration." I wrote Rainbows some years ago and was going to enter it into the daily prompt but there was only one space left and it got away from me, so waiting for another.
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You're welcome, Leslie. Anytime...
~Dean
