Christine's Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 58 "The Burning Torch "Poems /stories on Fanstory
28 total reviews
Comment from GentleWind
This piece is lovely and I think you did a great job writing what you see in the picture. The picture is beautiful. You made this story of lost love come to life with the rhyme and the heartstrings were tugged. This piece deserves to be read out loud. Great job
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2015
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This piece is lovely and I think you did a great job writing what you see in the picture. The picture is beautiful. You made this story of lost love come to life with the rhyme and the heartstrings were tugged. This piece deserves to be read out loud. Great job
Comment Written 26-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2015
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Thank you very much GentleWind for you lovely review of my poem, This story just came to mind when I saw the image for the first time and it is such fun doing these challenges so appreciate your time and feedback Cheers Christine😃
Comment from Leineco
Beautifully penned "Story in a Poem" Christine :-)
Between the picture and the woeful tale of fishing
somehow it adopted an "Irish" feel to it.
I think my favorite lines were
The sailors all went to their place, dark clouds began to form
They knew the signs were ominous a brewing of a storm.
a wonderful set up for the tragedy that was about to unfold.
(One quick typo -
"Come back to me" but was to late, this angry sea won out. [the to should be too] :-)
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2015
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Beautifully penned "Story in a Poem" Christine :-)
Between the picture and the woeful tale of fishing
somehow it adopted an "Irish" feel to it.
I think my favorite lines were
The sailors all went to their place, dark clouds began to form
They knew the signs were ominous a brewing of a storm.
a wonderful set up for the tragedy that was about to unfold.
(One quick typo -
"Come back to me" but was to late, this angry sea won out. [the to should be too] :-)
Comment Written 26-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2015
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Hi Leinco .Thank you for reading my poem and for the wonderful review. I enjoyed the challenge of writing this one and thanks for the typo pick up I will change it ASAP ( I often struggle with the to and too so glad you saw it ) Yes it could be an Irish feel as I had pictured this happening in a far away country for some reason. Cheers Christine😃
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Yikes! I just realized "Come back to me" but was to late," has two to's! I'm pretty sure you knew I meant the 2nd to should be too LOL
I used to have a problem with it too - if it helps
too = also
and even more so;
both end in o
and therefore two o's
are needed
(that's how I learned it :-)
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Hi Leinco I think I have it right now . a few other typo issues also but I have fixed them too lol Thanks again Cheers Christine
Comment from BeasPeas
Hi Christine. This is a really good story poem that I enjoyed from start to finish. There is a typo here: "Come back to me but was to (too) late..."--that you may want to fix, but doesn't detract from your piece. There are too many good lines in your poem to single out any one of them. Excellent job. Marilyn/BeasPeas
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2015
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Hi Christine. This is a really good story poem that I enjoyed from start to finish. There is a typo here: "Come back to me but was to (too) late..."--that you may want to fix, but doesn't detract from your piece. There are too many good lines in your poem to single out any one of them. Excellent job. Marilyn/BeasPeas
Comment Written 26-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2015
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Thank you so much BeasPeas for you excellent rating and kind words for my poem challenge I am glad you liked this . I am loking forward to read other poems also to do with this challenge. With much appreciation for your feedback Cheers Christine😃
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
G'day mate :)
Nice job on the Picture This challenge. The poem is very sad but well written with sound rhyme and meter. I think you did an excellent job! It is fun to see all the different takes on the same picture.
Gypsy
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2015
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G'day mate :)
Nice job on the Picture This challenge. The poem is very sad but well written with sound rhyme and meter. I think you did an excellent job! It is fun to see all the different takes on the same picture.
Gypsy
Comment Written 26-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2015
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Hi Gypsy , thanks for your great feedbcak for my Challenge poem ,and yes I can't wait to see the others also. I'm sure the poets will do a fabulous job .What fun Cheers Christine😃
Comment from I am Cat
Hello Christine,
A lovely poem this painting has inspired! Well done. I enjoyed your story of love and loss, and eternal happenings. I did notice some SPAG and I've noted it below.... Just some things which usually happen sometimes when posting, no worries. And certainly nothing to rate down for. ;)
I loved the lilting tone of your saga at sea! Well done Christine and it was great reading you!
Cat
PS...
I almost missed your entry as it's pumped up much further than the others, (we're supposed to use no more than 7 member cent pumps) I'm not sure if you read that part. You might miss some of the members because of that, but hopefully not. I usually go to the second or third page around 67 cents... that's where they all will be... around the same amount.
the corrections are below. Have an awesome day!
It started out like any day, the sea so calm and (quiet) (two syllables-long i , et)
Blue cloudless sky, a gentle breeze blew on the mast so (tight.) ( long i sound)
(not actual rhymes)
With expert hand upon the deck, to(o) panic would be rare. (should be the word 'to')
With lightening flashing all around, loud thunder clapped(,) no doubt.
I did not see the big wave come, next we were overboard. (did it lose rhythm here? )
"Come back to me" but was to(o) late, this angry sea won out. (add an 'o' to make 'too')
So yes(,) my love(,) I heard your call( ) upon that fateful day (and drop the comma after the word, 'call')
well done Christine!
Lovely
Cat
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2015
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Hello Christine,
A lovely poem this painting has inspired! Well done. I enjoyed your story of love and loss, and eternal happenings. I did notice some SPAG and I've noted it below.... Just some things which usually happen sometimes when posting, no worries. And certainly nothing to rate down for. ;)
I loved the lilting tone of your saga at sea! Well done Christine and it was great reading you!
Cat
PS...
I almost missed your entry as it's pumped up much further than the others, (we're supposed to use no more than 7 member cent pumps) I'm not sure if you read that part. You might miss some of the members because of that, but hopefully not. I usually go to the second or third page around 67 cents... that's where they all will be... around the same amount.
the corrections are below. Have an awesome day!
It started out like any day, the sea so calm and (quiet) (two syllables-long i , et)
Blue cloudless sky, a gentle breeze blew on the mast so (tight.) ( long i sound)
(not actual rhymes)
With expert hand upon the deck, to(o) panic would be rare. (should be the word 'to')
With lightening flashing all around, loud thunder clapped(,) no doubt.
I did not see the big wave come, next we were overboard. (did it lose rhythm here? )
"Come back to me" but was to(o) late, this angry sea won out. (add an 'o' to make 'too')
So yes(,) my love(,) I heard your call( ) upon that fateful day (and drop the comma after the word, 'call')
well done Christine!
Lovely
Cat
Comment Written 26-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2015
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Hi Cat. Thank you so much for your great review and very helpful hints to better my poem I will attend to them ASAP. I am glad you liked my theme that is what sprung to mind when I saw the image.
I feel terrible about having this too high in the pages and although I did a pump I must have miseed counted and it actually got to the 2nd page which I overlooked, but then i found it on the first page last night. as I was wondering why no one else had put there poems on. I looked through a few times yesterday so nowI will go and see the others as soon as I have done my reviews replies. Looking forward to reading everyone poems.
I also must have jumped the Gun a bit as I posted this at 1156 yesterday morning which was Monday 26. th in Australia so Our time difference must be quite different ( Jax was going to find out )
Thanks for your eagle eye and I will correct these mistakes also
I do enjoy your support and appreciate your help
Have a great day amd I will make sure I don't overstep the mark again
A big Cheers to you Christine😊
Comment from The Mom/DarleneThomson
Christine,
Oh what a lovely poem you have gathered from this picture. A ship just sank recently with some American passengers on it so very fitting. A lovely love poem. Great job.
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2015
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Christine,
Oh what a lovely poem you have gathered from this picture. A ship just sank recently with some American passengers on it so very fitting. A lovely love poem. Great job.
Comment Written 26-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2015
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Hi Darlene .Thanks you for you great feeback and comments for my Picture Challenge. It is alway tragic when poeple are lost at sea. This image just seemed to evoke this sad story and I can't wait to see what others in the challenge group have written. I think I must have jumped the gun a bit with the time frames and my over exhuberent pumps ( I looked aeveral times yesterday for other poems and now realize I had gone to many pages Lesson for next time) Appreciate you lovely support Cheers Christine😃
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
I enjoyed your poem. It tells a great, but sad, story. The flow was amazing. I was engaged throughout from start to finish. Good job on the rhyme which adds greatly to the flow. The meter is great--kinda of like sing-song-in a good way--it kept bouncing along--much like the storm tossed ship. I see no changes. Good job and thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2015
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I enjoyed your poem. It tells a great, but sad, story. The flow was amazing. I was engaged throughout from start to finish. Good job on the rhyme which adds greatly to the flow. The meter is great--kinda of like sing-song-in a good way--it kept bouncing along--much like the storm tossed ship. I see no changes. Good job and thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 26-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2015
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Hi jannypan ,Thank you very much for your lovely review and rating for my Picture Challenge and glad you liked my writing style I seem to always write like this perhaps its just the way my brain composes lol. But I am so pleased you like it and I look forward to reading the other challenge Posts . Appreciation for your comments Cheers Christine😃
Comment from Linda Engel
Excellent poem, Christine. I love a good story in a poem and this one held its head high. Your imagery was wonderful. The rhythm and flowing of the words gave that sense the reader was on that ship in the storm. The storm took his body but the soul lives on to be her guiding light. Beautiful. Linda
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2015
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Excellent poem, Christine. I love a good story in a poem and this one held its head high. Your imagery was wonderful. The rhythm and flowing of the words gave that sense the reader was on that ship in the storm. The storm took his body but the soul lives on to be her guiding light. Beautiful. Linda
Comment Written 26-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2015
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Oh wow Linda thank you so much for you very lovely review and for your six stars so much appreciated and I an glad you found this worthy. I tired to evoke a feeling of two souls one lost and the other searching and so your comments reflected this also. This image just seemed to draw out a sad story and I enjoyed writing this . I also look froward to reading the other challenge poets work. so from a very humble Aussie Poet A big cheers and have a great day Christine😃😃
Comment from Mark Valentine
A great, haunting poem-of-the-sea to match a great picture. It beautifully captures the romance and the danger of the sea, and succeeds in transporting us landlubbers to that foreign world of waves and tides and storms.
Two brief SPAG notes - in the second lince of the fourth stanza, I think the word you want is "to" instead of "too" - conversely, in the fourth line of the sixth stanza, the "to" should be "too".
A great poem and a great response to the prompt.
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2015
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A great, haunting poem-of-the-sea to match a great picture. It beautifully captures the romance and the danger of the sea, and succeeds in transporting us landlubbers to that foreign world of waves and tides and storms.
Two brief SPAG notes - in the second lince of the fourth stanza, I think the word you want is "to" instead of "too" - conversely, in the fourth line of the sixth stanza, the "to" should be "too".
A great poem and a great response to the prompt.
Comment Written 26-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2015
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Hi Mark thanks for our great review and rating for my poem of the sea ( this just seemed to come out when looking at the image) thanks for also picking up my two mistakes lol, but I think I have got it right now, often struggle with which to too to put in the right context. Had fun composing this one and look forwrd to reading the other posts of the same challenge. Cheers Christine😃
Comment from Joy Graham
Hi Christine! Nice to meet you :) I'll be posting my poem for this challenge soon. I think you did a fine job with your interpretation. I love stories of the sea involving shipwreck and love.
Just two things I noticed:
- "With (lightening) flashing all around..." - I think it's spelled lightning?
- "Come back to me, but was (to) late..." - should be too
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2015
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Hi Christine! Nice to meet you :) I'll be posting my poem for this challenge soon. I think you did a fine job with your interpretation. I love stories of the sea involving shipwreck and love.
Just two things I noticed:
- "With (lightening) flashing all around..." - I think it's spelled lightning?
- "Come back to me, but was (to) late..." - should be too
Comment Written 26-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2015
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Hi Joy yes nice to meet you too and Thank you so much for your lovely review for my poem and also for pointing out my lightning mistake it is always great to receive help ( some times one can't spot ones mistakes for looking lol) I think also I have got the to,s in the right place too. I enjoyed writing this and look forward to readin everyone elses posts .A big thanks and Cheers for your support Christine😃
