The Conjurer, Part Three
The Shaman's lure40 total reviews
Comment from Sonaleeka
very well written and pleasant reading.Easily can connect to charters of the book,which makes people more eager to read .
Thanks for sharing.Keep writing.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2015
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very well written and pleasant reading.Easily can connect to charters of the book,which makes people more eager to read .
Thanks for sharing.Keep writing.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2015
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Thank you for your kind and encouraging review, Sonaleeka.
:) Bev
Comment from Green Lake Girl
Well, you've gone and produced another fine chapter to this riveting story, Bev. I enjoyed the deep POV of the good Doctor.
The rose is an interesting component to the story. I surmised it was homegrown, as many florist's roses are without thorns and scent. So, the rose that the woman dropped for him is significant in its purity and classic characteristics. It's a nice mysterious touch to the story.
The very last part of your story is perfect. Dr. Morales still doesn't quite "get it", does he? He has an arrogance problem and lots to learn. I sincerely doubt the shaman will be following Dr. Morales's script.
"Though the events in the square had temporarily rattled me, the shaman had an Achilles heel that I would find and exploit. We would soon be following a new script--one written solely by me."
Excellent writing, Bev. You are the mistress of suspense and multi-layered stories. I've come to expect and appreciate your style. And you never disappoint.
(You forced me to look up wormholes. I'll confess the concept is over my head. LOL)
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2015
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Well, you've gone and produced another fine chapter to this riveting story, Bev. I enjoyed the deep POV of the good Doctor.
The rose is an interesting component to the story. I surmised it was homegrown, as many florist's roses are without thorns and scent. So, the rose that the woman dropped for him is significant in its purity and classic characteristics. It's a nice mysterious touch to the story.
The very last part of your story is perfect. Dr. Morales still doesn't quite "get it", does he? He has an arrogance problem and lots to learn. I sincerely doubt the shaman will be following Dr. Morales's script.
"Though the events in the square had temporarily rattled me, the shaman had an Achilles heel that I would find and exploit. We would soon be following a new script--one written solely by me."
Excellent writing, Bev. You are the mistress of suspense and multi-layered stories. I've come to expect and appreciate your style. And you never disappoint.
(You forced me to look up wormholes. I'll confess the concept is over my head. LOL)
Comment Written 15-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2015
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Hi, Marietta. Thanks for your insights about the rose. I did not know that hothouse roses don't have thorns. The last time I got a box of roses, they definitely had some, but that was a few years back. I love when readers inform me of the facts LOL. The rose will likely come up again.
Glad you enjoyed this post, and found it multi-layered. It's definitely what I strive for in the writing. I like my characters in this story, so I find myself having lots of possible thoughts about where to take this. As you know, that can sometimes be a problem, albeit a nice one to have.
Thanks so much for this very generous and encouraging review. Always good to hear from you!
:) Bev
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You're very welcome. Well deserved as always. Actually, most significant is the aroma of the rose. It's hard to find a rose that smells like a rose anymore.
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I've noticed that too.
Comment from Rob Caudle
Great job here, Bev, from the beginning. No bumps out of the read. My first test secondly the writing let met taste the dust feel the heat, the kids playing soccer gave a sense of reality to the write. I loved the worm hole bit at the beginning Hey one thing you might consider in Mexico the square is truly that as you point out, a church on one side and usually a market on the other with the center being a place for entertainment of all sorts. I believe they are called zocolo in Spanish [not sure of the spelling] but it might be cool to give the reader the term just to extend your already gritty sense of scene. Great job!
Rob
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2015
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Great job here, Bev, from the beginning. No bumps out of the read. My first test secondly the writing let met taste the dust feel the heat, the kids playing soccer gave a sense of reality to the write. I loved the worm hole bit at the beginning Hey one thing you might consider in Mexico the square is truly that as you point out, a church on one side and usually a market on the other with the center being a place for entertainment of all sorts. I believe they are called zocolo in Spanish [not sure of the spelling] but it might be cool to give the reader the term just to extend your already gritty sense of scene. Great job!
Rob
Comment Written 15-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2015
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Rob, what a great idea. Thanks... I'll check out the term and spelling.
I really appreciate your generosity and support for this story. It means a lot to me Mon Amie. Especially as I have to really watch my p's and q's as a fair number of reviewers have mentioned the Castaneda link. I love a good challenge (hehe).
All my best,
Bev
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Don't worry overmuch about the Carlos connection. remember all faith based writing will always read a bell with who evers faith is being written about.
I think you are on a winner here.
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Thanks, Rob. Your insights and encouragement really help!
:0) Bev
Comment from Rosalyne
Hi, Bev.
This is a great story! The description of the wormhole is fascinating, especially the way you've related it to the relationship of the Shaman.
The internal thought is so well shown and really brings out his character.
You've ended with a continued suspense and mystery, leaving the reader hungry for more.
Awesome chapter, my friend.
Bye
Rosalyne :)
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2015
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Hi, Bev.
This is a great story! The description of the wormhole is fascinating, especially the way you've related it to the relationship of the Shaman.
The internal thought is so well shown and really brings out his character.
You've ended with a continued suspense and mystery, leaving the reader hungry for more.
Awesome chapter, my friend.
Bye
Rosalyne :)
Comment Written 15-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2015
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Aw, thanks Rosalyne. I really appreciate your insights and encouragement, not to mention your generosity! I like my characters, so I find that makes writing this so much more fun! You're a real pal. I'm going to be sending some times for chats with Stacia. I feel bad that I've not been able to attend any as yet. Hopefully, we'll be talking soon.
Hugs, Bev
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Hi, Bev.
Your writing is excellent! You really have such a wonderful way of creating and building characters. Each of your stories different and exciting. I really like the direction you're taking with this one.
I've missed you in the chats. I can't wait for our next class together. If there is anything I can share from the previous chats let me know.
We've talked generally about nonfiction writing. It's interesting how one idea can flow into a branch of topics. Stacia is so patient as I tend to hop from one topic to another. LOL
I'm looking forward to our next class together!
Bye
Hugs
Rosalyne :)
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I've sent along my chat times to her just now. I have an out-of-town visit to make Sunday and Monday, but will be back on Tuesday. My stepmother doesn't have internet access, so I'm pretty much in blackout mode LoL. I did read the chats and see that you two covered a lot of good stuff. I hope I can catch up with the next planned chat. I'm anxious to get my story idea going. Also, I did go into Stacia's portfolio to get the suggested link/reading. She's posted a couple of poems for contests lately. Her Tanka contest entry is especially good. I hadn't thought to fan her in the past because I didn't think she was posting much, but looks like she does.
Thanks, my friend, for your kind words regarding my characters. For some reason, once I post something I get this stupid notion that what I've written is trivial. If I wrote in a vacuum, I really think that voice would pretty much destroy my creativity. Thank goodness for wonderfully creative and supportive friends like you.
Hugs, Bev
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Hi, Bev.
You are such a talented writer! Your characters are excellent, each so different and fresh.
What especially has drawn me to your writing is both characters and the originality of your stories. This isn't easy to do.
Writing can be very isolating. I, too, doubt every word put on paper.
I'm so sorry I haven't been around much. My dad hasn't been well for
several months.
It feels so good taking a class with Stacia. I can't wait to join you in the chat. You always have such amazing ideas! I'm behind in my readings and have only begun to outline the assignment. I look forward to reading yours!
I smiled about the lack of internet, something we all take for granted today. Great tool to have, now I need to learn how to use it properly. LOL
Have a great day, my friend!
Hugs
Rosalyne :)
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Yes, it is weird isn't it? She's almost ninety and she has no need for it since she's mostly living alone. It's a bit of a pain for me, but I can live for two days without Internet.
I'm sorry to hear about your dad. It's really tough to keep their spirits up when they are dealing with so much, especially when they have chronic pain. My step-mother was always a very active woman, and now she has to sit in her chair and watch TV because her legs are so weak and she's afraid she'll fall. Which she probably will do if she tries to climb stairs. I feel bad for her, and try to cheer her up when I have a chance to visit every couple of months.
Stacia is such a great teacher. I'm looking forward to the point when we can all connect in chat and get some fascinating conversations going. There's always nuggets of wisdom and good advice in among the conversations. And it's really great to be working with you again. It sounds like, from the first chat I reviewed, you have some excellent concepts and ideas, Rosalyne. That's great. Gives me inspiration.
Have a great day, buddy.
Hugs, Bev
Comment from Joan E.
I relished your description of "wormholes" as "incubators" of baby universes, held together with "cosmic strings". I liked the thought-provoking question about who was the child and who, the parent in the meeting, along with your "bees in a hive" simile. Once again, you captured my imagination from the onset of the chapter and held it through the final sentence. Comparing the envelope to a "poison dart" intensified the suspense. To be eagerly continued... Joan
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2015
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I relished your description of "wormholes" as "incubators" of baby universes, held together with "cosmic strings". I liked the thought-provoking question about who was the child and who, the parent in the meeting, along with your "bees in a hive" simile. Once again, you captured my imagination from the onset of the chapter and held it through the final sentence. Comparing the envelope to a "poison dart" intensified the suspense. To be eagerly continued... Joan
Comment Written 15-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2015
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Thanks so much, Joan, for this really gracious review. I, especially, appreciate your highlighting the those parts of the story you liked. I'm glad you're on board with this story as it's always good to get the perspective of excellent writers like yourself.
Hugs, Bev
Comment from ejwalker
Tightly written. I like the clean, concise style you construct sentences with. The opening paragraph with the worm hole analogy works for this excerpt and sets a tone for "other worldly possibilities" that seem sure to follow. I did notice that you begin six of the paragraphs in this chapter with verbs ending in "...ing." That may be intentional, and they're broken up enough where it's not distracting. The business with the messenger boy running off when the MC reaches for a tip adds a real world dimension to the story--nice touch. I read ALL the "Don Juan" Carlos Castaneda books in the 70s, so I'm a big Mexican shaman fan. Write on. :>
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2015
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Tightly written. I like the clean, concise style you construct sentences with. The opening paragraph with the worm hole analogy works for this excerpt and sets a tone for "other worldly possibilities" that seem sure to follow. I did notice that you begin six of the paragraphs in this chapter with verbs ending in "...ing." That may be intentional, and they're broken up enough where it's not distracting. The business with the messenger boy running off when the MC reaches for a tip adds a real world dimension to the story--nice touch. I read ALL the "Don Juan" Carlos Castaneda books in the 70s, so I'm a big Mexican shaman fan. Write on. :>
Comment Written 15-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2015
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Hi, EJ. Thanks for taking time to read my post. Like you, I read and appreciated all the CC books, as well as those by the members of his own group--most notably Taisha Abelar. Did you know that the legacy lives on? Tensegrity is the name given to those who still practice the magical passes. I do, as well, on a regular basis and can attest to how extraordinary they remain. In this modern version of the hero's journey, I am hoping to update by including physics, psychological underpinnings as well as a dash of the Indian worldview. We'll see if I can pull it off :)
Thanks for the encouragement and support, E. I'll check out that annoying "... ing" issue as well.
:) Bev
Comment from Naham Mills
Nice work that reflects how intellectual and somewhat Cunning humans can be.
Keep writing about these interesting concepts my friend
Peace
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2015
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Nice work that reflects how intellectual and somewhat Cunning humans can be.
Keep writing about these interesting concepts my friend
Peace
Comment Written 15-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2015
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Thanks for taking time to read my post, NM. I appreciate it!
:) Bev
Comment from boxergirl
Captivating descriptive details and inner dialogue, Bev. I could feel the tenseness of Dr. Morales as he struggles with whether to stay or go. Good stuff! :-)
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2015
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Captivating descriptive details and inner dialogue, Bev. I could feel the tenseness of Dr. Morales as he struggles with whether to stay or go. Good stuff! :-)
Comment Written 15-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2015
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Thanks so much, BG. I appreciate this most gracious and generous review. It's especially nice to get your insights, which are always helpful going forward.
:) Bev
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
I'm finding this so intriguing - and so well-written, with superb description, Bev - altho hesitant at first, it seems he's going to accept Senor Pasquale's invitation after all.
It's quite mysterious how the Shaman knows just where he's staying, in spite of him using a different name and traveller's cheques.
vanish within a cloud of ash-colored dust, my emotions swirled like bees in a hive. - loved this
Just wish I had a six it so deserves, Bev - you're so talented, my friend.
the urge to haul(my?) ass back to Texas persisted.
Margaret
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2015
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I'm finding this so intriguing - and so well-written, with superb description, Bev - altho hesitant at first, it seems he's going to accept Senor Pasquale's invitation after all.
It's quite mysterious how the Shaman knows just where he's staying, in spite of him using a different name and traveller's cheques.
vanish within a cloud of ash-colored dust, my emotions swirled like bees in a hive. - loved this
Just wish I had a six it so deserves, Bev - you're so talented, my friend.
the urge to haul(my?) ass back to Texas persisted.
Margaret
Comment Written 15-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2015
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Hi, Margaret. Thank you so much for this grand review! I so appreciate your encouragement and support. I know that posting late in the week, as I'm doing, may limit the stars, but truly I'm just enjoying the response from readers like yourself and all you offer by way of suggestions/improvement. Great to hear from you, as always.
:) Bev
Comment from royowen
So many attractive elements to your clever plot, it will be fascinating how you draw them together, science versus the mystique has many wonderful possibilities, but the temporal will never reconcile itself to the invisible, the visible has only been here for a short time, and invisible always has and will be, long after the seen is gone! But great plot, and delicious characters, the structure and the storyline is fascinating, well done, Bev, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2015
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So many attractive elements to your clever plot, it will be fascinating how you draw them together, science versus the mystique has many wonderful possibilities, but the temporal will never reconcile itself to the invisible, the visible has only been here for a short time, and invisible always has and will be, long after the seen is gone! But great plot, and delicious characters, the structure and the storyline is fascinating, well done, Bev, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 15-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2015
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Hi, Roy. Thank you much for your insights and encouraging review. The Shaman respects that Higher Power that you refer to as well. In fact, unlike much of modern day man, he realizes that he is not the captain of his own destiny, and works with those natural forces, seen and unseen, in order to live in an impeccable manner. That's the message he will offer to the scientist.
Always great to hear from you, my friend.
:) Bev
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You've drawn on that fabulous wisdom Bev, well done
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Thanks again, Roy! :)
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Most welcome Bev
