October twelve
some quatrains 134 words16 total reviews
Comment from danpald
Well the poem of Autumn Season
Touches with the truth of reason
For the beauty of the day
Changes into the wonder of time display
The years pass with a pattern
Learn the reality of nature
For like my poems of the Autumn Fairies
Your poem tells if the seasons beauty
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2015
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Well the poem of Autumn Season
Touches with the truth of reason
For the beauty of the day
Changes into the wonder of time display
The years pass with a pattern
Learn the reality of nature
For like my poems of the Autumn Fairies
Your poem tells if the seasons beauty
Comment Written 21-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2015
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Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!
Comment from janalma
This poem is poetic. Lol. But, many aren't, here. Your descriptive words bring very real images to mind. A nice summing up of the time of year and it doesn't sound awkward anywhere. No illogical wording or saying it backward (which I realize is ok, sometimes.) Good.
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2015
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This poem is poetic. Lol. But, many aren't, here. Your descriptive words bring very real images to mind. A nice summing up of the time of year and it doesn't sound awkward anywhere. No illogical wording or saying it backward (which I realize is ok, sometimes.) Good.
Comment Written 13-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2015
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I seek the concrete, the plain, the straightforward. Thank you very much for reading and reviewing.
Comment from nancyjam
This is a beautiful poem. Wonderfully descriptive.
The reader feels the emotions of the speaker as he
speaks of the loss of summer and contemplates death both of the season
and perhaps his own or a loved one
Excellent rhyme and strong meter. Good word choice to emphasize
mood.
I thoroughly enjoyed the read.
Nancy
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2015
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This is a beautiful poem. Wonderfully descriptive.
The reader feels the emotions of the speaker as he
speaks of the loss of summer and contemplates death both of the season
and perhaps his own or a loved one
Excellent rhyme and strong meter. Good word choice to emphasize
mood.
I thoroughly enjoyed the read.
Nancy
Comment Written 13-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2015
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Nancy, I am so glad you enjoyed the read. Thank you very much for the read, the review, and especially for the exceptional rating.
Comment from misscookie
You captured my attention from the first line to the last.
I could vision the changing season and the changing that it bring.
This is a very interesting write.
Thank you for sharing.
Cookie
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2015
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You captured my attention from the first line to the last.
I could vision the changing season and the changing that it bring.
This is a very interesting write.
Thank you for sharing.
Cookie
Comment Written 13-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2015
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Thank you very much for reading and reviewing, I am glad you enjoyed the poem.
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You're very welcome, until next time.
Cookie
Comment from Nosha17
Aha, iambic tetrameter poem, so few people attempt it but it isn't so hard, you accomplished it very well. Just one place you had the stress on the first syllable, line 1 of last verse. You could say to keep it in sync with the rest of the poem, As sunlight falls......... How anyone can enjoy free verse after reading your poem, or Nancy's or even one of mine (I am very modest)and a few others who are real poets. Mastering meter and rhyme is a big deal to some, it isn't that hard if you are musical and smart. Excellent rhyming and meter, hope you didn't mind me pointing out that one part. Keep up the good work. Faye
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2015
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Aha, iambic tetrameter poem, so few people attempt it but it isn't so hard, you accomplished it very well. Just one place you had the stress on the first syllable, line 1 of last verse. You could say to keep it in sync with the rest of the poem, As sunlight falls......... How anyone can enjoy free verse after reading your poem, or Nancy's or even one of mine (I am very modest)and a few others who are real poets. Mastering meter and rhyme is a big deal to some, it isn't that hard if you are musical and smart. Excellent rhyming and meter, hope you didn't mind me pointing out that one part. Keep up the good work. Faye
Comment Written 13-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2015
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Faye, I write at the gallop, and any advice is greatly welcomed. Thank you for reading and reviewing.
Comment from robyn corum
wow. This was just amazing. It enjoyed the images it produced in my mind and I REALLY enjoyed the unusual verbage. So many of us keep using the same words over and over -- very refreshing!
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2015
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wow. This was just amazing. It enjoyed the images it produced in my mind and I REALLY enjoyed the unusual verbage. So many of us keep using the same words over and over -- very refreshing!
Comment Written 13-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2015
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Thank you very much for reading and reviewing October Twelve, Robyn. And thanks especially for the six stars!
Comment from OnyxSapphire78
What a beautiful tribute to changing of the seasons. There is so much beauty all around us everyday and what a great way to capture some of this.
The bugs that sang the summer through
now sing a weary fainter song
the sky's a deeper, cooler blue
as days draw short and nights grow long.
Vivid imagery and a very nice way to set the tone and draw your reader in.
Well done. Great artwork as well. Good luck and happy writing!
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2015
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What a beautiful tribute to changing of the seasons. There is so much beauty all around us everyday and what a great way to capture some of this.
The bugs that sang the summer through
now sing a weary fainter song
the sky's a deeper, cooler blue
as days draw short and nights grow long.
Vivid imagery and a very nice way to set the tone and draw your reader in.
Well done. Great artwork as well. Good luck and happy writing!
Comment Written 13-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2015
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I am glad you enjoyed this poem, and I thank you sincerely for reading and reviewing.
Comment from Dean Kuch
"
The bright new face upon the world
will call to mind the times gone by
when earth her flags of gold unfurled
when leaves would blaze and then would die.
My words like cold October rain
will drip and tap with same old sound
if sleep or death, it's still the pain
of love and summer in the ground."
I'm speechless, Red. I know that's difficult to believe coming from a windbag full of hot air like me, but it's still true, nonetheless. This beautifully penned, heartfelt, poignant, melancholy musing on love, life, death--and all the ether that lies between--has stolen my breath away. Damn you, sir, for making me cry. I hate to cry...
In he immortal words of Forest Gump..."And that's all I haf'ta say 'bout that..."
~Dean
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2015
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"
The bright new face upon the world
will call to mind the times gone by
when earth her flags of gold unfurled
when leaves would blaze and then would die.
My words like cold October rain
will drip and tap with same old sound
if sleep or death, it's still the pain
of love and summer in the ground."
I'm speechless, Red. I know that's difficult to believe coming from a windbag full of hot air like me, but it's still true, nonetheless. This beautifully penned, heartfelt, poignant, melancholy musing on love, life, death--and all the ether that lies between--has stolen my breath away. Damn you, sir, for making me cry. I hate to cry...
In he immortal words of Forest Gump..."And that's all I haf'ta say 'bout that..."
~Dean
Comment Written 13-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2015
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Your review gives me hope that I approach a goal I have worked toward for some time, the ability to share the sense of being a human being through the written word. Thanks very much for reading and reviewing, for the most welcome comments and rating.Or, put another way, "Yahoo."
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Well, I can't speak for anyone else, Red, but it sure hit home for me...
~Dean
Comment from Jay Squires
Red, this is a lovely nature poem with your own personification. I love the stanza:
My words like cold October rain
will drip and tap with same old sound
if sleep or death, it's still the pain
of love and summer in the ground.
You'll not soon forget the October rain.
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2015
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Red, this is a lovely nature poem with your own personification. I love the stanza:
My words like cold October rain
will drip and tap with same old sound
if sleep or death, it's still the pain
of love and summer in the ground.
You'll not soon forget the October rain.
Comment Written 13-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2015
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Thanks again for reading and reviewing. I was awakened just now by wind and thunder(at one AM) Odd weather for October.
Comment from Cass Carlton
This is one of those pieces where I think to myself, I wish I had written this. May I make some suggestions? Please totally disregard if you choose, but I would like to put them to you if you please. First verse. I would put "day" and "night "in the plural "days and nights" it just seems to roll off the tongue better. Third verse. "When leaves would blaze and then would die" Consider leaving off the
"When" because you already have "When" at the .start of the previous line. How do you feel about having "would " twice so closely together? What about re-arranging the words to something like" Leaves blazed forth and then would die."
The last verse, consider switching "That" and "and" putting one where the other was and reading it through. It makes a lovely poem truly beautiful. But, it IS your poem so please do as you see fir . It is very good. It has a hint of intimacy in it, these are your feelings Your memories your dreams. Well done cheers Cass
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2015
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This is one of those pieces where I think to myself, I wish I had written this. May I make some suggestions? Please totally disregard if you choose, but I would like to put them to you if you please. First verse. I would put "day" and "night "in the plural "days and nights" it just seems to roll off the tongue better. Third verse. "When leaves would blaze and then would die" Consider leaving off the
"When" because you already have "When" at the .start of the previous line. How do you feel about having "would " twice so closely together? What about re-arranging the words to something like" Leaves blazed forth and then would die."
The last verse, consider switching "That" and "and" putting one where the other was and reading it through. It makes a lovely poem truly beautiful. But, it IS your poem so please do as you see fir . It is very good. It has a hint of intimacy in it, these are your feelings Your memories your dreams. Well done cheers Cass
Comment Written 12-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2015
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I will certainly read your suggestions into this work, and I thank you very much for reading and reviewing, and sharing your ideas. I also especially appreciate the exceptional rating. Yes, I am a guy who has seen a lot of autumns...
