Strangers Within the Silence
a contest entry17 total reviews
Comment from visionary1234
Greg, as usual, you do not disappoint. This is one of your best pieces, I think!
"I once gave away the night, to inherit the sun" - your sweeping brush strokes in this piece a truly spectacular! I may have some trouble topping this one!
:) Sharyn
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2015
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Greg, as usual, you do not disappoint. This is one of your best pieces, I think!
"I once gave away the night, to inherit the sun" - your sweeping brush strokes in this piece a truly spectacular! I may have some trouble topping this one!
:) Sharyn
Comment Written 06-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2015
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Oh really? I'm really happy you like it! That means a lot. Seriously thank you Sharyn.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
What do we all hide behind our smiles, not many people know all our secrets. Allow the boy within you to be a boy and let him out sometime to make life more bearable. Show some of your true heart before you die.
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2015
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What do we all hide behind our smiles, not many people know all our secrets. Allow the boy within you to be a boy and let him out sometime to make life more bearable. Show some of your true heart before you die.
Comment Written 06-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2015
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That's beautiful. Thank you so much for reading. Truly. Very appreciated...
Comment from OLA THOMAS
This is very philosophical and spiritual. Deep thoughts from the inner mind. I like the truth hidden in this work especially in:
"Hidden under worry, I fear we have never met,
nor will we ever, until these worldly shackles unravel." You got it right.
ola thomas
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2015
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This is very philosophical and spiritual. Deep thoughts from the inner mind. I like the truth hidden in this work especially in:
"Hidden under worry, I fear we have never met,
nor will we ever, until these worldly shackles unravel." You got it right.
ola thomas
Comment Written 06-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2015
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Hi Ola thanks so very much! I really appreciate it!
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is a beautiful write, Gregory, you did an excellent job writing this beautiful poem about the decisions that make you who you are and I love the last verse. beautiful. I wish you the best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2015
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this is a beautiful write, Gregory, you did an excellent job writing this beautiful poem about the decisions that make you who you are and I love the last verse. beautiful. I wish you the best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 06-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2015
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Wow thank you! I'm Incredibly honored, especially from you as I love your work. Seriously I'm so grateful and excited! Thank you!
Comment from Joyce Long
Good luck with the contest. "Far beyond my smile...an essence of everything I have been." What a statement. My smile only indicates that I am a pleasant person and willing to accept you for what you are. My smile doesn't reveal the ups and downs I have been through or am going through. It only speaks of now.
"I will undress my skin to bare my true heart." Is this saying that you take off the smiling mask that you have worn all day and let your true self be exposed. Isn't it wonderful that we have our homes for being ourselves. The song "Behind closed doors" leaves a lot unsaid.
I certainly enjoyed your poem.
Good luck in the contest.
Joyce 10-6-15
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reply by the author on 06-Oct-2015
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Good luck with the contest. "Far beyond my smile...an essence of everything I have been." What a statement. My smile only indicates that I am a pleasant person and willing to accept you for what you are. My smile doesn't reveal the ups and downs I have been through or am going through. It only speaks of now.
"I will undress my skin to bare my true heart." Is this saying that you take off the smiling mask that you have worn all day and let your true self be exposed. Isn't it wonderful that we have our homes for being ourselves. The song "Behind closed doors" leaves a lot unsaid.
I certainly enjoyed your poem.
Good luck in the contest.
Joyce 10-6-15
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2015
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Hi Joyce. What a lovely and most appreciated review. Truly, I'm honored that you read so deeply. Extremely insightful! Again, so much, thank you.
Comment from ciliverde
The last 4 lines of this poem are fantastic, I feel that they speak to what many of us FEEL but struggle to express. Is this a penchant of the thoughtful introvert, to consider that we may never meet our own heart until that shy breath stops?
I'm still thinking about the rest of the poem. I liked the feel of soft, almost-rhymes here and there, bits of alliteration, compelling images: an unbound journal that the wind sifts through. I'm not sure what you mean by "my once to never enough" - my one nit, but maybe I'm just missing it.
Nicely done, it feels as though kindred souls exist here...
Carol
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2015
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The last 4 lines of this poem are fantastic, I feel that they speak to what many of us FEEL but struggle to express. Is this a penchant of the thoughtful introvert, to consider that we may never meet our own heart until that shy breath stops?
I'm still thinking about the rest of the poem. I liked the feel of soft, almost-rhymes here and there, bits of alliteration, compelling images: an unbound journal that the wind sifts through. I'm not sure what you mean by "my once to never enough" - my one nit, but maybe I'm just missing it.
Nicely done, it feels as though kindred souls exist here...
Carol
Comment Written 06-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2015
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Wow what an amazing review. I'm truly honored. You made my morning! ;)
You got this perfectly! The once to never enough. Vague, generalized. I tried once but it wasn't enough, classic story, etc.
Seriously, I appreciate it. Question, should I change that? Does it read weird?
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I think that you could clarify that line, although I had a feeling what it was you meant. "My once IS never enough" perhaps? Or is your one attempt a cry against the feeling that it is never enough, no matter how many times you tried? Well, it is thought provoking as is, that's certain.
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Hmm. I have to think now :)
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello :)
Beautiful poem with an abundance use of alliteration, good free verse form.
I find this work appealing and captivating with thought-provoking expression - a very interesting poem.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2015
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Hello :)
Beautiful poem with an abundance use of alliteration, good free verse form.
I find this work appealing and captivating with thought-provoking expression - a very interesting poem.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2015
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Thank you Rose!
