Animated Stills
Viewing comments for Chapter 30 "Elfin King"Inspiration of Life from Photographs
16 total reviews
Comment from nancy_e_davis
You are correct. I can see his face there beard and all.
What a wonderful place to hide. A well written poem in
iambic tetrameter and abab rhyme. I have a good imagination
for seeing faces in flowers. What a beautiful Boquet. I love the soft colors. Graet picture and poem Tom. Nancy
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2015
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You are correct. I can see his face there beard and all.
What a wonderful place to hide. A well written poem in
iambic tetrameter and abab rhyme. I have a good imagination
for seeing faces in flowers. What a beautiful Boquet. I love the soft colors. Graet picture and poem Tom. Nancy
Comment Written 30-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2015
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Thank you Nancy. It was a centerpiece at the party. I love it when I spot them too.
Comment from ravenblack
Riches? That little imp disappeared again. I'm looking, but I just can't see him. Do you mean in the center of the flower, a slight hint of eyes and a beard?
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2015
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Riches? That little imp disappeared again. I'm looking, but I just can't see him. Do you mean in the center of the flower, a slight hint of eyes and a beard?
Comment Written 28-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2015
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Thank you ravenblack. Yup, right in the middle of that white flower.
Comment from RahulChadha
A perfectly and beautifully written poetry. Nicely shaped and put into words. A different topic as well.
I loved it.
Best of luck and best wishes
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2015
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A perfectly and beautifully written poetry. Nicely shaped and put into words. A different topic as well.
I loved it.
Best of luck and best wishes
Comment Written 28-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2015
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Thank you RahulChaha.
Comment from rod007
I saw the face grinning at me. There sure are impish spirits residing in that bouquet and your poem brings them out with solid imagery. I wish I could reap the riches that these spirits can bestow but alas that's only a dream. Well done, Tom.
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2015
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I saw the face grinning at me. There sure are impish spirits residing in that bouquet and your poem brings them out with solid imagery. I wish I could reap the riches that these spirits can bestow but alas that's only a dream. Well done, Tom.
Comment Written 28-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2015
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Thank you Rod. Yup, thin air it was.
Comment from robyn corum
TooOOooom...
There's another in the very center of the photograph, too. Orange in color, and eyes in a slightly slanted position, though you can't see his whole face. shhhh... I think MY beastie is slipping up on YOUR beastie. Let's watch and see what 'appens!
Very cool write!! Fun!
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2015
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TooOOooom...
There's another in the very center of the photograph, too. Orange in color, and eyes in a slightly slanted position, though you can't see his whole face. shhhh... I think MY beastie is slipping up on YOUR beastie. Let's watch and see what 'appens!
Very cool write!! Fun!
Comment Written 28-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2015
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Thank you Robyn. They're everywhere. The little rascals.
Comment from Joan E.
Did you create the concept of the Animated Still poetry form? I immediately saw the face in the white flower, and I enjoyed your alternating rhymes in these quatrains, along with the bits of alliteration. I'm afraid our "Elfin King" will "disappear into thin air," but I look forward to your next fanciful character! Cheers- Joan
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2015
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Did you create the concept of the Animated Still poetry form? I immediately saw the face in the white flower, and I enjoyed your alternating rhymes in these quatrains, along with the bits of alliteration. I'm afraid our "Elfin King" will "disappear into thin air," but I look forward to your next fanciful character! Cheers- Joan
Comment Written 28-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2015
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That you Joan. Yes, that is my own concept. I have written 29 so far.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
Wonderful picture and I love the combination of the colors in the bouquet. Your poem describes the animated still life excellent and the Elfin King is there
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2015
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Wonderful picture and I love the combination of the colors in the bouquet. Your poem describes the animated still life excellent and the Elfin King is there
Comment Written 28-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2015
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Thank you Sandra. It was a fun write.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is an excellent write, treischel, you did an excellent job writing this beautiful poem about the little spirit that hides in the flowers. I enjoyed reading it and loved the picture
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2015
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this is an excellent write, treischel, you did an excellent job writing this beautiful poem about the little spirit that hides in the flowers. I enjoyed reading it and loved the picture
Comment Written 28-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2015
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Thank you sweetwoodjax.
Comment from Glasstruth
The spirit, whatever that maybe is hard to put a finger on. The second verse is what really gives this poem personality. Very colorful writing, and that chooses not to hide as the Elfin King does. Wonderful writing. Les
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2015
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The spirit, whatever that maybe is hard to put a finger on. The second verse is what really gives this poem personality. Very colorful writing, and that chooses not to hide as the Elfin King does. Wonderful writing. Les
Comment Written 28-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2015
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Thank you very much, les.
Comment from mvbrooks
It's a light, fun poem much like a mini-break from the day--it has a relaxing quality. It's very visual. I hope you get your "riches."
Editing notes:
"Hidden there in the brightest blooms,
Elfin King with mystic powers
Concealed in camouflage costume."
-- blooms and costume do not rhyme--to maintain a rhyme, make costumes plural. This will still fit the storyline.
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reply by the author on 28-Sep-2015
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It's a light, fun poem much like a mini-break from the day--it has a relaxing quality. It's very visual. I hope you get your "riches."
Editing notes:
"Hidden there in the brightest blooms,
Elfin King with mystic powers
Concealed in camouflage costume."
-- blooms and costume do not rhyme--to maintain a rhyme, make costumes plural. This will still fit the storyline.
--------
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2015
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Thank you mvbrooks. It is perfectly acceptable to rhyme a singular with a plural. Thanks for the input.
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just know that the "sound" of the rhyme is interferred with and thereby interrupts the flow of the poem. But if you will sacrifice the flow, then keep the mismatch. In this case, since the plural does not change the meaning, it's a shame not to change it.
