Happy Days
Cherry picking in the fifties15 total reviews
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi pretty bluebird,
I enjoyed your entry for the "Enjoyment of Eating" contest. Growing up, we never had cherries in the groceries. In fact, the only berries we had were picked by us... blueberries, blackberries (my favorite), raspberries, and wild strawberries. They made their way onto a bowl of Kellogg's Corn Flakes. But I have bought cherries the past few years when they are in season. And they are delicious.
I especially enjoyed the part of your story about Mrs. Guzman. I wonder how she made everything so hot? My youngest son loves hot food, especially Thai dishes.
I remember one summer, my father got me a job picking raspberries. Oh boy, it was so hot on the side of that hill. And the pay was dismal. I'd walk to the local store for a bottle of pop... ginger beer was my favorite. I wasn't used to the Public Landing store, though. One day, I walked in, sweating and tired and thirsty! And there were three young girls there. One was the cashier. One was sitting right on top of the pop cooler. It was one of those coolers, you'd pop the coins in, and guide the neck of the bottle along a run until you could pull it out from the clamp. Well, she wouldn't move her butt. And I know the three of them were getting such a kick out of making me blush redder than a ripe Macintosh. I had to slide back the cooler lid, right towards her crotch. She just refused to move her legs. I was so embarrassed! But that pop was delicious on my walk back to the berry patch.
Nicely penned!
Hugs,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2022
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Hi pretty bluebird,
I enjoyed your entry for the "Enjoyment of Eating" contest. Growing up, we never had cherries in the groceries. In fact, the only berries we had were picked by us... blueberries, blackberries (my favorite), raspberries, and wild strawberries. They made their way onto a bowl of Kellogg's Corn Flakes. But I have bought cherries the past few years when they are in season. And they are delicious.
I especially enjoyed the part of your story about Mrs. Guzman. I wonder how she made everything so hot? My youngest son loves hot food, especially Thai dishes.
I remember one summer, my father got me a job picking raspberries. Oh boy, it was so hot on the side of that hill. And the pay was dismal. I'd walk to the local store for a bottle of pop... ginger beer was my favorite. I wasn't used to the Public Landing store, though. One day, I walked in, sweating and tired and thirsty! And there were three young girls there. One was the cashier. One was sitting right on top of the pop cooler. It was one of those coolers, you'd pop the coins in, and guide the neck of the bottle along a run until you could pull it out from the clamp. Well, she wouldn't move her butt. And I know the three of them were getting such a kick out of making me blush redder than a ripe Macintosh. I had to slide back the cooler lid, right towards her crotch. She just refused to move her legs. I was so embarrassed! But that pop was delicious on my walk back to the berry patch.
Nicely penned!
Hugs,
Kimbob
Comment Written 19-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2022
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Thank you for sharing your funny incident with me. I can almost picture your face. You went back a way to find this old writing of mine. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Hugs.
Comment from Jackreese
Sounds like a very nice time to be a part of. Unlike today it sounded very laid back and fun. No one worried about how much fat, sugar or cholesterol you were taking in just good old fashioned fun.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2015
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Sounds like a very nice time to be a part of. Unlike today it sounded very laid back and fun. No one worried about how much fat, sugar or cholesterol you were taking in just good old fashioned fun.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2015
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Thank you. Yep, we just ate whatever. I remember my mom making fried bread when she made our bread for the week. Man those were good with homemade butter. If I ate like that now I would weigh 300 lbs.
Comment from Benjamin Valencia
Hello. thank you for sharing a good memory with the reader. It's a story that relates to many. Interesting how you mentioned that the pickers were your relatives. You might have felt yourself very close to them. Take care and cheers.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2015
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Hello. thank you for sharing a good memory with the reader. It's a story that relates to many. Interesting how you mentioned that the pickers were your relatives. You might have felt yourself very close to them. Take care and cheers.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2015
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Thank you. Yes, those were good days.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Smiles author oh you make eating all the food( I myself love to eat) so fun and delightful to feast upon.
Best to you in the The enjoyment of eating!
Gert
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2015
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Smiles author oh you make eating all the food( I myself love to eat) so fun and delightful to feast upon.
Best to you in the The enjoyment of eating!
Gert
Comment Written 19-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2015
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Thank you. those were great times.
Comment from mvbrooks
Your story is a sweet memory of by-gone days. You have strong description that allows the reader to envision your images. It's an enjoyable story.
There are some editing errors that interrupt the story's flow. Without these errors, this story has a strong chance of winning the contest. good luck.
Editing note:
"I remember summertime in the fifties; picking cherries in dad's orchards all day."
--omit the semicolon indicates that there are two complete sentences connected. In this case, the second part is missing a subject and therefore is a dependent clause. When the full sentence proceeds the dependent clause no comma is used to separate them.
----
"Stuffing ourselves, juice running down our arms, sweat bees stinging. "
--this is a fragment as it is missing a subject.
------
"We roasted marshmallows, and hot dogs, drank soda, sang songs and laughed, boy did we laugh."
--need to omit the comma after "marshmallows" as "marshmallows and hot dogs" are a group (group of items roasted).
--need to either change the comma after "laughed" to a semicolon or to a period as you are connecting two full sentences here.
-----
"It was hot beyond hot and burned all the way down it was best to have a jug of water handy. "
--"it" is a pronoun and needs to refer back to a prior stated noun. In this case, it would go back to "food" in the prior sentence. But "food" is plural and "it" is singular. Best to change "it" to a specific food's name for clarity.
--need to add a period or a semicolon after "down" as you are again connecting too full sentences.
-----
"My mother cooked huge meals and fed the pickers who were our relatives."
--this is the first time that you've mentioned "pickers"--the first line suggests you and family were doing the picking. I understand the word limit constraints, but this "sudden" introduction is a bit confusing.
-----------
"Life was good and it's for sure; nobody ever left the farm hungry."
--need to add a comma after "good" as that completes the first full sentence and then omit the semicolon after "sure" as it is misplaced ("it's for sure" is not a complete sentence")
----
"If they did it was nobody's fault but heir own."
--need to add a comma after "did" as it's the end of the introductory clause
--need to add a "t" to "heir" to make it "their."
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2015
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Your story is a sweet memory of by-gone days. You have strong description that allows the reader to envision your images. It's an enjoyable story.
There are some editing errors that interrupt the story's flow. Without these errors, this story has a strong chance of winning the contest. good luck.
Editing note:
"I remember summertime in the fifties; picking cherries in dad's orchards all day."
--omit the semicolon indicates that there are two complete sentences connected. In this case, the second part is missing a subject and therefore is a dependent clause. When the full sentence proceeds the dependent clause no comma is used to separate them.
----
"Stuffing ourselves, juice running down our arms, sweat bees stinging. "
--this is a fragment as it is missing a subject.
------
"We roasted marshmallows, and hot dogs, drank soda, sang songs and laughed, boy did we laugh."
--need to omit the comma after "marshmallows" as "marshmallows and hot dogs" are a group (group of items roasted).
--need to either change the comma after "laughed" to a semicolon or to a period as you are connecting two full sentences here.
-----
"It was hot beyond hot and burned all the way down it was best to have a jug of water handy. "
--"it" is a pronoun and needs to refer back to a prior stated noun. In this case, it would go back to "food" in the prior sentence. But "food" is plural and "it" is singular. Best to change "it" to a specific food's name for clarity.
--need to add a period or a semicolon after "down" as you are again connecting too full sentences.
-----
"My mother cooked huge meals and fed the pickers who were our relatives."
--this is the first time that you've mentioned "pickers"--the first line suggests you and family were doing the picking. I understand the word limit constraints, but this "sudden" introduction is a bit confusing.
-----------
"Life was good and it's for sure; nobody ever left the farm hungry."
--need to add a comma after "good" as that completes the first full sentence and then omit the semicolon after "sure" as it is misplaced ("it's for sure" is not a complete sentence")
----
"If they did it was nobody's fault but heir own."
--need to add a comma after "did" as it's the end of the introductory clause
--need to add a "t" to "heir" to make it "their."
Comment Written 19-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2015
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Thank you I really appreciate advice from reviewers. I will take your advice and nominate you fore reviewing.
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thank you...and keep writing. I'm looking forward to your next story.
Comment from Judy Couch
It's interesting that most of the good times in our lives have been accompanied by food. Picnics and cook-outs with friends and relatives. Eating cherries or other fruit as we pick them are things that all of us can understand. We've all done it.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2015
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It's interesting that most of the good times in our lives have been accompanied by food. Picnics and cook-outs with friends and relatives. Eating cherries or other fruit as we pick them are things that all of us can understand. We've all done it.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2015
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Thank you. Those were good days
Comment from Carole Rosa
To the author of "Happy Days". Your prose is written very well and your story of your happy days is refreshing. What wonderful memories you have!! Good luck in the contest. Carole
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2015
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To the author of "Happy Days". Your prose is written very well and your story of your happy days is refreshing. What wonderful memories you have!! Good luck in the contest. Carole
Comment Written 19-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2015
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from ellie6
An excellent entry into the contest. The memories you share are vivid, I can picture the kids runnung around all excited, and Mrs Guzman's super hot food. WELL WRITTEN.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2015
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An excellent entry into the contest. The memories you share are vivid, I can picture the kids runnung around all excited, and Mrs Guzman's super hot food. WELL WRITTEN.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2015
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Thank you. Those were fun days
Comment from jpduck
This conjured up a childhood idyll so clearly; I almost felt I was reliving it myself.
I presume Mrs Guzman was one of the Mexicans. I wonder whether, to this day, you love chillies or hate them.
Adrian
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2015
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This conjured up a childhood idyll so clearly; I almost felt I was reliving it myself.
I presume Mrs Guzman was one of the Mexicans. I wonder whether, to this day, you love chillies or hate them.
Adrian
Comment Written 19-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2015
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Thank you. I love all kinds of Mexican food, the hotter the better
Comment from Brett Matthew West
What a simpler time and place this well written poem depicts. Old ladies like Mrs. Guzman lived to feed you, whether you were hungry or not. Should also be a good contest entry.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2015
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What a simpler time and place this well written poem depicts. Old ladies like Mrs. Guzman lived to feed you, whether you were hungry or not. Should also be a good contest entry.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2015
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Thank you. Yes, Mrs Guzman did love to feed all of us. I'm not so sure about my poor mother. Mom got worked half to death in cherry picking season.
