The End
Minute Poem contest entry41 total reviews
Comment from RGstar
Nicely phrased, Steve.
The final test is nigh for all of us and how we take that exam is to each his own...I must admit, I will probably fail mine. I don't have the answers, but it is not one I am in a hurry to think about, though it constantly rears its head.
Good write.
Best wishes,
RGstar
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2015
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Nicely phrased, Steve.
The final test is nigh for all of us and how we take that exam is to each his own...I must admit, I will probably fail mine. I don't have the answers, but it is not one I am in a hurry to think about, though it constantly rears its head.
Good write.
Best wishes,
RGstar
Comment Written 14-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2015
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I'm pretty sure I know what happens (or doesn't) at the end and I'm in no great hurry to go there, even if my mind dwells on it a bit these days!
Thanks for the thoughtful review.
Steve
Comment from Neonewman
Beautiful artwork chosen to accompany this wonderfully crafted piece for the Minute contest entry. I particularly enjoyed the second stanza.
God bless and good luck in the contest!
Steve
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2015
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Beautiful artwork chosen to accompany this wonderfully crafted piece for the Minute contest entry. I particularly enjoyed the second stanza.
God bless and good luck in the contest!
Steve
Comment Written 14-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2015
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Thank you.
Steve
Comment from NJK62
A highly effective poem which demonstrates total command of the chosen form. The image of life as sailing the sea where the weather is unpredictable successfully evokes the capricious nature of life and the severe examination we all experience as a result. This idea of unpredictability is given additional emphasis through the effective use of alliteration in the third line. Furthermore, the image in the final two lines of the poem powerfully suggests the idea of death, sunset and even the day of judgment? In the first stanza the imagery is equally effective. 'Fleeting breath' evokes the brevity of life and I particularly liked the characterization of Death as mournful, as though (s)he/it almost regrets having to end life, despite the death of an individual being compared to a 'prize', something of value. This is an original idea. Finally the rhyme is never forced: it consistently gives additional emphasis to the key ideas in the poem. This is a highly accomplished poem that deserves to do well in the competition.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2015
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A highly effective poem which demonstrates total command of the chosen form. The image of life as sailing the sea where the weather is unpredictable successfully evokes the capricious nature of life and the severe examination we all experience as a result. This idea of unpredictability is given additional emphasis through the effective use of alliteration in the third line. Furthermore, the image in the final two lines of the poem powerfully suggests the idea of death, sunset and even the day of judgment? In the first stanza the imagery is equally effective. 'Fleeting breath' evokes the brevity of life and I particularly liked the characterization of Death as mournful, as though (s)he/it almost regrets having to end life, despite the death of an individual being compared to a 'prize', something of value. This is an original idea. Finally the rhyme is never forced: it consistently gives additional emphasis to the key ideas in the poem. This is a highly accomplished poem that deserves to do well in the competition.
Comment Written 14-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2015
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Thank you so much for the super and thoughtful review.
I like the idea of Death as being slightly gentle too - it's an idea expressed really well in the novel 'The Book Thief' where Death is the narrator.
Steve
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No problem.
Comment from Mark Valentine
Very smooth flow to this one. I love how the last two stanzas are one continuous sentence. It's a great take on one of my favorite topics - reflecting on the seeming brevity of life and pondering its meaning. The picture fits your last stanza brilliantly. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2015
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Very smooth flow to this one. I love how the last two stanzas are one continuous sentence. It's a great take on one of my favorite topics - reflecting on the seeming brevity of life and pondering its meaning. The picture fits your last stanza brilliantly. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 14-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2015
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Thanks, Mark - glad you enjoyed.
Steve
Comment from humpwhistle
Ah, the end of days. But are you referring to an individual's end, or are you talking the Big Kaput?
I think it's the former . . . But you couldn't resist raising the other question.
Frankly, I think it takes more courage to face death individually. It's personal. Exclusive, and exclusionary all at the same time.
I think your 'where sky meets sea/the world ablaze/at the end of days' is not the fiery Armageddon is really a poetic dramatization of a single quiet passing.
Best of luck, Steve
Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2015
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Ah, the end of days. But are you referring to an individual's end, or are you talking the Big Kaput?
I think it's the former . . . But you couldn't resist raising the other question.
Frankly, I think it takes more courage to face death individually. It's personal. Exclusive, and exclusionary all at the same time.
I think your 'where sky meets sea/the world ablaze/at the end of days' is not the fiery Armageddon is really a poetic dramatization of a single quiet passing.
Best of luck, Steve
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 14-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2015
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Thanks, Lee - you are right, the rhyme and the evocation of that phrase was too good to pass up.
Steve
Comment from Benjamin Valencia
Hi Kiwisteveh. A poem that I read over a few times to try and get the gist of which I think I did and its very deep. For true happiness to be achieved, he must meet the horizons to see his own fate. At least, that's what I got out of it. Cheers.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2015
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Hi Kiwisteveh. A poem that I read over a few times to try and get the gist of which I think I did and its very deep. For true happiness to be achieved, he must meet the horizons to see his own fate. At least, that's what I got out of it. Cheers.
Comment Written 14-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2015
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Thanks, ben.
Steve
Comment from visionary1234
Only you can make a Minute poem not seem trite, Steve - and use 'breath' and 'death' to boot! Love your enjambment in 2nd verse too - takes the pain out of the form, and gives us a grand finale! You're truly a poet after my own heart! :)Sharyn
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2015
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Only you can make a Minute poem not seem trite, Steve - and use 'breath' and 'death' to boot! Love your enjambment in 2nd verse too - takes the pain out of the form, and gives us a grand finale! You're truly a poet after my own heart! :)Sharyn
Comment Written 14-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2015
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Sharyn, thanks for the very kind words.
I guess the mechanics of this form aren't too difficult, so I try to give it a bit of depth in the content - glad you thought that was successful.
Steve
Comment from PoemsOfDD
A solid poem. Your poem is reflective in its message. The picture attached is very fitting and adds to the message. Well done.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2015
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A solid poem. Your poem is reflective in its message. The picture attached is very fitting and adds to the message. Well done.
Comment Written 14-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2015
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Thank you!
Steve
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Well written poem depicting that final event everyone must one day face. This poem should also be a good contest entry.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2015
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Well written poem depicting that final event everyone must one day face. This poem should also be a good contest entry.
Comment Written 14-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2015
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Thanks, Brett!
Steve
Comment from Tessa Kay
I like the minute form. It has a kind of rush to it, starting long and then going short.
The picture is amazing, very ominous, and goes very well with your poem of impending doom. Well done. :)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2015
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I like the minute form. It has a kind of rush to it, starting long and then going short.
The picture is amazing, very ominous, and goes very well with your poem of impending doom. Well done. :)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2015
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Thanks, Tessa.
Steve
