To Cherish Thorns
Viewing comments for Chapter 58 "On the Cusp At Midnight"Free Verse Poetry
16 total reviews
Comment from mfowler
No punches pulled here, your 'unobtainable oubliette' revealed in a stunning free write where poetic rules are brushed aside for raw, inventive, and at times, funny exposition of young Mikey's unbelievable life. Only Feral of Mandela could match you for the wild start that should have left you referred to him@psycho.com. Loved the wildness of the start: a clever sober drive to glory. You describe the childhood:
Michael was mistaken for a girl
with golden locks and bluesy eyes
it amused him
as did insanity
It's mix of absurdity and normality co-agulate into a mystery box that might produce anything. You became:omnipotent twelve-year old
leader of the pack
he appeared unaffected by the maladies
Against the odds, a normal kid with a strong sense of self emerges:
HIGH school wasn't for him
the crowd being stupid and he being smart
accepted by
he rejected
in secret
The girl, the escape into music dominate the remainder of your bio. They are fascinating on every level. Little wonder you have so much imagination and emotional richness to draw for these great creations.
I hope your free-est of free verses does really well.
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No punches pulled here, your 'unobtainable oubliette' revealed in a stunning free write where poetic rules are brushed aside for raw, inventive, and at times, funny exposition of young Mikey's unbelievable life. Only Feral of Mandela could match you for the wild start that should have left you referred to him@psycho.com. Loved the wildness of the start: a clever sober drive to glory. You describe the childhood:
Michael was mistaken for a girl
with golden locks and bluesy eyes
it amused him
as did insanity
It's mix of absurdity and normality co-agulate into a mystery box that might produce anything. You became:omnipotent twelve-year old
leader of the pack
he appeared unaffected by the maladies
Against the odds, a normal kid with a strong sense of self emerges:
HIGH school wasn't for him
the crowd being stupid and he being smart
accepted by
he rejected
in secret
The girl, the escape into music dominate the remainder of your bio. They are fascinating on every level. Little wonder you have so much imagination and emotional richness to draw for these great creations.
I hope your free-est of free verses does really well.
Comment Written 13-Sep-2015
Comment from Lovinia
Hi Mikey
I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry. Perhaps, sometimes, you aren't either? Cause and effect ... what we have to deal with, fate, or a mistake? Either way, it's not in our hands in the beginning. Of course, some can plan escape, they fly ... "the EAGLE, Baby!" Some soar so high! Some know the meaning of 'apple pie'.
"and the girl, always, always, the girl" ... just an added dimension of a
"sincere" soul ... or a Divine torment? Part of the equation anyway ... accept what we can't change, maybe?
"There is
one
though
waiting for the genetic miracle" -- a miracle achieved ... by my calculations. LOL
"I, poet laureate of the universe,
laugh as I let off steam
disaster averted"
Superb presentation, all configuration perfect - I love the diversity of your life. I feel sorrow for the bad stuff, and happiness, Mikey manages to always 'shine through'/ This is brilliance at its best ... stunning free verse. I'm almost glad the contest is full, how could anyone compete with this? I've enjoyed all your poetic technique, just the right amount, not too much. I don't need to point it all out, do I?
Such a cute photo of Mikey, I presume. Love the final image. What a BLAST! I know this will be appreciated by the free verse poets, I do hope the classic rhyme poets enjoy your own exclusive style. You are unique for sure. Hahahah! That's in the nicest kind of way, not uniquely antiquated. :))) Brilliant ... I'm wondering if anyone can beat this? Wishing you the best of luck. I'd give a ten star but I only have a six. Hugs - Lovi xoxoxo
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Hi Mikey
I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry. Perhaps, sometimes, you aren't either? Cause and effect ... what we have to deal with, fate, or a mistake? Either way, it's not in our hands in the beginning. Of course, some can plan escape, they fly ... "the EAGLE, Baby!" Some soar so high! Some know the meaning of 'apple pie'.
"and the girl, always, always, the girl" ... just an added dimension of a
"sincere" soul ... or a Divine torment? Part of the equation anyway ... accept what we can't change, maybe?
"There is
one
though
waiting for the genetic miracle" -- a miracle achieved ... by my calculations. LOL
"I, poet laureate of the universe,
laugh as I let off steam
disaster averted"
Superb presentation, all configuration perfect - I love the diversity of your life. I feel sorrow for the bad stuff, and happiness, Mikey manages to always 'shine through'/ This is brilliance at its best ... stunning free verse. I'm almost glad the contest is full, how could anyone compete with this? I've enjoyed all your poetic technique, just the right amount, not too much. I don't need to point it all out, do I?
Such a cute photo of Mikey, I presume. Love the final image. What a BLAST! I know this will be appreciated by the free verse poets, I do hope the classic rhyme poets enjoy your own exclusive style. You are unique for sure. Hahahah! That's in the nicest kind of way, not uniquely antiquated. :))) Brilliant ... I'm wondering if anyone can beat this? Wishing you the best of luck. I'd give a ten star but I only have a six. Hugs - Lovi xoxoxo
Comment Written 13-Sep-2015
Comment from ellie6
Wow,Mikey. She must be some girl ! That's the thing that stands out in this poem, and maybe the adventurous sperm swimming toward the goal. All the rest of it was way over my head. I liked the stream of consciousness, though.
ellie.
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Wow,Mikey. She must be some girl ! That's the thing that stands out in this poem, and maybe the adventurous sperm swimming toward the goal. All the rest of it was way over my head. I liked the stream of consciousness, though.
ellie.
Comment Written 13-Sep-2015
Comment from Neonewman
What an incredible ride this was my friend! I can easily say that you have outdone yourself with this brilliantly crafted piece. I have never felt so alive reading such work before. I don't understand the free verse, but I certainly had not trouble following this piece. Maybe it's because I am a bit mad myself!
God bless!
Steve
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What an incredible ride this was my friend! I can easily say that you have outdone yourself with this brilliantly crafted piece. I have never felt so alive reading such work before. I don't understand the free verse, but I certainly had not trouble following this piece. Maybe it's because I am a bit mad myself!
God bless!
Steve
Comment Written 13-Sep-2015
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is an excellent write , Michael, greati magery presented about the journey of your life. I enjoyed reading it and wish you the best of luck in the contest.
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this is an excellent write , Michael, greati magery presented about the journey of your life. I enjoyed reading it and wish you the best of luck in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Sep-2015
Comment from seaglass
That is such a cute happy baby, rocking his horse in front of the original "Charlie Brown Christmas Tree." It's good you could take life with humor and disregard. I was a very sensitive, reflective kid and the assassination, the war, the draft, segregation were upsetting to the max. It has been an interesting life, hasn't it?
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
|
That is such a cute happy baby, rocking his horse in front of the original "Charlie Brown Christmas Tree." It's good you could take life with humor and disregard. I was a very sensitive, reflective kid and the assassination, the war, the draft, segregation were upsetting to the max. It has been an interesting life, hasn't it?
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Sep-2015
