Torment and Choices
A man torn between addiction and family54 total reviews
Comment from kiwijenny
So hard and so true. Your broken heart by his addiction
Fathers should choose family
My dad hated his father for the addiction but in adulthood came to understand at least the reasons. It didn't undo the pain though
God bless
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2015
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So hard and so true. Your broken heart by his addiction
Fathers should choose family
My dad hated his father for the addiction but in adulthood came to understand at least the reasons. It didn't undo the pain though
God bless
Comment Written 29-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2015
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I know he really tried, and off and on, it would work, and then he would start looking for excuses to drink, and would find someone to blame for it. Once he put the blame on me for telling him something he didn't want to hear about my sister, but he asked and I'm not known for keeping my mouth shut. I mourned his "falling off the wagon" and blamed myself until my grandmother sat me down and explained how alcoholics work. I still loved him, but no longer let him put the blame on me. Thanks for the review and comments!
Rhonda
Comment from olliebuster
That is torment in its truest form. Its like reaching for something, your fingers touch it but your hand cannot grasp it. Its agony within. Some turn to drink, some turn to vices to satisfy their craving. When reaching out to
the children is not achievable, you sit and rot. You are recognized as a brilliant soul whose dreams are wasted. You seek solace with the spirit in the bottle or worst. A very good poem. One that makes the reader think
and reflect inwardly. Olliebuster
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2015
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That is torment in its truest form. Its like reaching for something, your fingers touch it but your hand cannot grasp it. Its agony within. Some turn to drink, some turn to vices to satisfy their craving. When reaching out to
the children is not achievable, you sit and rot. You are recognized as a brilliant soul whose dreams are wasted. You seek solace with the spirit in the bottle or worst. A very good poem. One that makes the reader think
and reflect inwardly. Olliebuster
Comment Written 29-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2015
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Wow, you totally nailed it, my friend! That's exactly what we went through with my ultra talented father who often chose the drink over us. Thank you!
Rhonda
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A good poem deserves a good review. Well done. Olliebuster
Comment from nancy_e_davis
This is a great poem and the perfect picture
to go with it, however your last two lines need help.
They don't rhyme. I suggest something like...
What might have been could never be.
Addiction took my Dad from me
remove the word[by] in second stanza. 9 syllables
Add ]his] to child and wife
by life's [long] struggle... remove long 9 syllables
You poem tells how addiction kept you from knowing your father. Well done. Just needs a little tweaking. Nancy
You might add a comma after what might have been. It is much better. The meter is a bit off in a line or two, but that will come in time. Well done Rhonda. N
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2015
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This is a great poem and the perfect picture
to go with it, however your last two lines need help.
They don't rhyme. I suggest something like...
What might have been could never be.
Addiction took my Dad from me
remove the word[by] in second stanza. 9 syllables
Add ]his] to child and wife
by life's [long] struggle... remove long 9 syllables
You poem tells how addiction kept you from knowing your father. Well done. Just needs a little tweaking. Nancy
You might add a comma after what might have been. It is much better. The meter is a bit off in a line or two, but that will come in time. Well done Rhonda. N
Comment Written 29-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2015
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Thank you so much, Nancy! I appreciate you taking the time to help me spiff it up. If you get a chance, would mind seeing how it reads now? Great suggestions.
Rhonda
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My daughters name is/was Rhonda Davis before Marriage. LOL I will check it out. Happy to help. N
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Now, that's a real coincidence! She must be a wonderful young lady!
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Without a doubt, after all , she is my daughter! LOL Nancy
Comment from JanetRussek
I found this piece heartfelt and very emotional. Addiction is so powerful and It's so unfair and sad that it devastates so many lives. Painful and heartbreaking for both the addict and their loved ones. Well written.
Warm Regards,
Janet
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2015
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I found this piece heartfelt and very emotional. Addiction is so powerful and It's so unfair and sad that it devastates so many lives. Painful and heartbreaking for both the addict and their loved ones. Well written.
Warm Regards,
Janet
Comment Written 29-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2015
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Thank you so much, Janet for your honest and heart felt review! At least my father wasn't a violent drunk. He just used it to distance himself from the world. Thanks again,
Rhonda
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You are so very welcome
Comment from Alaskastory
"Torment and Choices" brings back sad memories. At this time, and likely all through history, lives wasted with such wrong choices made. When looking back, we wonder why youths fall to life-destroying temptations. Your piece clearly states it all. Well done!
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2015
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"Torment and Choices" brings back sad memories. At this time, and likely all through history, lives wasted with such wrong choices made. When looking back, we wonder why youths fall to life-destroying temptations. Your piece clearly states it all. Well done!
Comment Written 29-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2015
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Thank you for your thoughts and review! You have done a wonderful job of reviewing this emotional poem. Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from Sis Cat
An eloquent poem and tribute that reminded me of my father, only his addiction was fame, leading to the same disaster for wife and family. He was a sculptor, so this line resonated with me, "A brilliant mind, an artist's heart, poor choices made, life torn apart." I also experience "What might have beens" when thinking about my father. I try to focus on the now and will be. Thank you for sharing your tribute to a troubled father.
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2015
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An eloquent poem and tribute that reminded me of my father, only his addiction was fame, leading to the same disaster for wife and family. He was a sculptor, so this line resonated with me, "A brilliant mind, an artist's heart, poor choices made, life torn apart." I also experience "What might have beens" when thinking about my father. I try to focus on the now and will be. Thank you for sharing your tribute to a troubled father.
Comment Written 29-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2015
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And I appreciate your heart felt review. My father's addiction of choice was alcohol, and I started to make the poem about that, but the addiction was more than that. It was what he used to emotionally distance himself, and that applies to many addictions. I'm glad you were able to relate to it, and to share your own disappointments. Thanks,
Rhonda
Comment from royowen
This is good Rhonda, you've managed to craft this one beautifully, without help, I'm always here, but this is a good one. It's very sad, did your dad disappoint you? Or did he still show his love, I've just left my precious elder child in Darwin in the tropical North of Aussie, with her hubby and grandsons. They're traveling around Aussie, be home for Christmas. In aabb rhyming,even meter, well done, Blessings, Roy.
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2015
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This is good Rhonda, you've managed to craft this one beautifully, without help, I'm always here, but this is a good one. It's very sad, did your dad disappoint you? Or did he still show his love, I've just left my precious elder child in Darwin in the tropical North of Aussie, with her hubby and grandsons. They're traveling around Aussie, be home for Christmas. In aabb rhyming,even meter, well done, Blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 29-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2015
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Thank you so much for your brilliant and sincere review. Yes, he showed his love, and I don't judge him for his flaws. He wrote about it often in his poetry. His problem was that he cared too much. Everything hurt him, even the little things, and so he drank and caused worse problems. In the end, it took his life. He's my inspiration to write, and I have to believe that somewhere he has found peace, and that he is watching over my writing. Thanks again,
Rhonda
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That's good Rhonda,, well done, Roy.
Comment from poetadeu
You have described alcohol addition as though
you know what it does to so many. The life it
destroys isn't merely his/her own. Also, those
who are in his life suffer as you have well
written. The rhyme and meter are perfect. wish
you well!
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2015
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You have described alcohol addition as though
you know what it does to so many. The life it
destroys isn't merely his/her own. Also, those
who are in his life suffer as you have well
written. The rhyme and meter are perfect. wish
you well!
Comment Written 29-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2015
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Unfortunately, I do know. It took my father as it does so many across the world. In all its ugly faces, drug and alcohol abuse is a driving wedge between people. Thank you for your review,
Rhonda
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It was my pleasure and best wishes to
you...LOL::}} Joyce
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It was my pleasure and best wishes to
you...LOL::}} Joyce
Comment from MelB
So true, addiction steals so many things from a person's life.
Addictions steal both heart and life,
health, happiness, child and wife. - nothing seemed to get his attention
So sad, the things he could have done, as it sounds as if he was very talented.
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2015
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So true, addiction steals so many things from a person's life.
Addictions steal both heart and life,
health, happiness, child and wife. - nothing seemed to get his attention
So sad, the things he could have done, as it sounds as if he was very talented.
Comment Written 29-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2015
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Thank you, Mel for the sweet and insightful review. Addiction is the great evil of our generation. Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from Tessa Kay
Parents influence you for the rest of your life. An addictive parent inspired this sad poem. You peaked my interest in the first line by adding the word 'almost'.
The desire of the child to get closer to its father and its sadness fopr not being able to comes through clearly. Well done. :)
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2015
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Parents influence you for the rest of your life. An addictive parent inspired this sad poem. You peaked my interest in the first line by adding the word 'almost'.
The desire of the child to get closer to its father and its sadness fopr not being able to comes through clearly. Well done. :)
Comment Written 29-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2015
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Almost is the key word, thanks for noticing, Tessa. You try to get close, but they push you away with their destructive behavior. Take care,
Rhonda
