Family
Viewing comments for Chapter 114 "Paper Trails"Personal poems
3 total reviews
Comment from barkingdog
You had what every your son had, and he got to stay home. What a trooper you were. You finished the paper deliveries in spite of the 'lava flow'. UGH how smelly, uncomfortable and embarrassing.
Well written.
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2015
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You had what every your son had, and he got to stay home. What a trooper you were. You finished the paper deliveries in spite of the 'lava flow'. UGH how smelly, uncomfortable and embarrassing.
Well written.
Comment Written 27-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2015
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Thank you barking dog.
Comment from Nosha17
This was really funny, I thoroughly enjoyed it-mostly because I sympathise with you, we had a newspaper route in Long Island in the eighties, those Sunday papers were mighty big and heavy. Also, I liked the part where you talked about your son rifling some of the takings to go to the sweet shop (we had sweet shops when I was young)I read my kids books called 'Just William' and he was always doing those kind of things. William was even luckier though, the owner of the sweet shop had to run off and do an errand and left William in charge-you can imagine how delighted William was! The disaster with the diarrhoea was the final straw. Most enjoyable and good luck in the contest. Faye
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2015
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This was really funny, I thoroughly enjoyed it-mostly because I sympathise with you, we had a newspaper route in Long Island in the eighties, those Sunday papers were mighty big and heavy. Also, I liked the part where you talked about your son rifling some of the takings to go to the sweet shop (we had sweet shops when I was young)I read my kids books called 'Just William' and he was always doing those kind of things. William was even luckier though, the owner of the sweet shop had to run off and do an errand and left William in charge-you can imagine how delighted William was! The disaster with the diarrhoea was the final straw. Most enjoyable and good luck in the contest. Faye
Comment Written 26-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2015
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Thank you Faye. I apperciate your comments. Yeah, a paper route is not a great idea.
Comment from TAB_that's me
eww - that would be awful and certainly embarrassing ;)
Your story is interesting. There are some fragmented sentences though.
Good luck to you.
Teresa
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2015
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eww - that would be awful and certainly embarrassing ;)
Your story is interesting. There are some fragmented sentences though.
Good luck to you.
Teresa
Comment Written 26-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2015
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Thank you Teresa. So, it the fragments that cause the 4 ranking. Not the topic?
Yes it is because the writing needs improvement. The story line was great.
