Short
Viewing comments for Chapter 29 "Morning Murder"Shorter stories
8 total reviews
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Well you managed to use all the given words, and came up with a story that many can relate to. Yep, these things go off at the most unreasonable times, even though we set them that way. I can see you holding the clock to your ear, Bill!! Lol. Well done! :) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 07-May-2022
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Well you managed to use all the given words, and came up with a story that many can relate to. Yep, these things go off at the most unreasonable times, even though we set them that way. I can see you holding the clock to your ear, Bill!! Lol. Well done! :) Sandra xx
Comment Written 07-May-2022
reply by the author on 07-May-2022
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Thanks again, Sandra.
Comment from Benjamin Valencia
Hello. Respectfully, your story didn't entice me in fact, it rather disturbed me. It was really loud and distracting. It seems as if you were overly focused on the phone. "egregious communication device" seems to be a bit frivolous.
' I remembered that I had placed it on a table at the far wall the previous evening in some forgotten attempt to force me to rise to my feet, and cross the room to answer it.' (this sentence needs to be two sentences and re-structured a bit)
Hope my feedback helps. Take care and cheers.
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2015
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Hello. Respectfully, your story didn't entice me in fact, it rather disturbed me. It was really loud and distracting. It seems as if you were overly focused on the phone. "egregious communication device" seems to be a bit frivolous.
' I remembered that I had placed it on a table at the far wall the previous evening in some forgotten attempt to force me to rise to my feet, and cross the room to answer it.' (this sentence needs to be two sentences and re-structured a bit)
Hope my feedback helps. Take care and cheers.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2015
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Thanks. Purposely loud and distracting as the story focuses on the "assault" of noise.
Comment from Eric1
Hi Mystery Author, this is an excellent entry for this particular competition, Brilliantly written story with the inevitable good ending, I wish you all the best in the contest my friend.
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2015
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Hi Mystery Author, this is an excellent entry for this particular competition, Brilliantly written story with the inevitable good ending, I wish you all the best in the contest my friend.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2015
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Thank you, Eric, for the excellent review.
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It was my pleasure Bill
Comment from TAB_that's me
Ah, at least least wasn't a gruesome story like I thought it would be. Nice suspense though. Well written - no spag.
teresa
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2015
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Ah, at least least wasn't a gruesome story like I thought it would be. Nice suspense though. Well written - no spag.
teresa
Comment Written 16-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2015
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Thank you, Teresa, for the excellent review.
Comment from The Mom/DarleneThomson
I like this. You not only murdered your clock and phone, but they murdered your sleep. Exceptional writing. Thank you for sharing. Kudos on a job well done. Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2015
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I like this. You not only murdered your clock and phone, but they murdered your sleep. Exceptional writing. Thank you for sharing. Kudos on a job well done. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2015
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Thank you, Darlene, for the excellent review.
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Your welcome.
Comment from sibhus
Well, perhaps a bit over done on your adjectives, but it was an a musing short piece. Well written and within in the word count, and the use of the required words fit well in the story without seeming to be forced. I thought the ending was funny, the crime scene of the murdered sleep, ha, ha. Don't we all feel like that at times. A good entry for the contest, and good luck.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2015
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Well, perhaps a bit over done on your adjectives, but it was an a musing short piece. Well written and within in the word count, and the use of the required words fit well in the story without seeming to be forced. I thought the ending was funny, the crime scene of the murdered sleep, ha, ha. Don't we all feel like that at times. A good entry for the contest, and good luck.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2015
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Thank you for reviewing this. I actually had it done in 100 words, but didn't want to leave any unused word space on the table.
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
I have to say this was a wonderful story with just 100 words. I loved the line when he picked up the clock and held it to his ear. Very creative and I like how you slowly (despite the length) filled us in on what was happening. Great job.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2015
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I have to say this was a wonderful story with just 100 words. I loved the line when he picked up the clock and held it to his ear. Very creative and I like how you slowly (despite the length) filled us in on what was happening. Great job.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2015
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Thank you, Michael, for the excellent review.
Comment from Mark Valentine
You describe a murder that we all can relate to - not what one is expecting upon reading the title, but a nice twist, and you worked the requisite words into your story without the story seeming forced. Great job and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2015
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You describe a murder that we all can relate to - not what one is expecting upon reading the title, but a nice twist, and you worked the requisite words into your story without the story seeming forced. Great job and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2015
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Thank you, Mark, for the excellent review.
