A Book of Love
Viewing comments for Chapter 33 "Memories"Assorted poems of love
23 total reviews
Comment from CR Delport
Last week I was on training and didn't have much time to read and review. Although I am going to be swamped with work this week, I'll read and review as much as I can. This is very well written and very touching.
Take care.
Christelle.
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2015
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Last week I was on training and didn't have much time to read and review. Although I am going to be swamped with work this week, I'll read and review as much as I can. This is very well written and very touching.
Take care.
Christelle.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2015
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It's ok sug. I know all about 'LIFE" coming in and taking over. Thank you for leaving this lovely review :)
Always,
Missy
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day Missy. This is a very sweet little romance poem mate. The flow is smooth and gentle, a skill I don't posses. I wouldn't have worried about the warning, the picture is fine. Beautiful stuff.
Now get on a write one about my favorite pets please! Spiders! Hahahahaha! Just kidding.
Cheers Fez
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2015
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G'day Missy. This is a very sweet little romance poem mate. The flow is smooth and gentle, a skill I don't posses. I wouldn't have worried about the warning, the picture is fine. Beautiful stuff.
Now get on a write one about my favorite pets please! Spiders! Hahahahaha! Just kidding.
Cheers Fez
Comment Written 16-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2015
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HAHAHAHA!!!! I love ya Mate but... no way!!! I only know one from my childhood THE ITSY BITSY SPIDER...Now I loved that as I child but today's spiders scare the crap outa me.lol.
Thanks, Fez, for the nice review though hon. Always love your reviews this is no exception.:)
Always,
Missy
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Itsy bitsy spider was a selfish bum
he came out of his egg and soon he ate his mum,
his dad ran off in fear before he was eaten too
itsy chased him down and cooked him in a stew!
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OMG...I spit my coffee out my nose laughin so hard...lol...how cute this is...Your so funny and such a great writer, husband, dad and best of all...my friend. :)
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Well Crikey! I've done my job well then LOL. I love it when I make my friends spit coffee out of their noses, it's just the best fun. Hahahaha! Good onya mate.
I'm going to post a poem containig a recipe in the next 15 minutes, see how you go with it LOL.
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OH NO... now I am worried...lmao
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Righto I posted it just in time for you to cook it for the family LOL. Enjoy.
Comment from EricBrady
Beautiful piece and a beautiful memory. That is the one thing that we will always have. Memories can be so vivid but they aren't the same. They do offer some comfort though. The warning was correct although, I hadn't noticed until you mentioned it. I always try to read and then go to the artwork. Great work!
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2015
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Beautiful piece and a beautiful memory. That is the one thing that we will always have. Memories can be so vivid but they aren't the same. They do offer some comfort though. The warning was correct although, I hadn't noticed until you mentioned it. I always try to read and then go to the artwork. Great work!
Comment Written 15-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2015
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Thank you Eric... I have had mixed reviews on both the poem and the warning. I'm glad I went with it.
Your opinion and review me alot to me :)
Always,
Missy
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Memories of the man you love come to you at night. You married that man but he died and all you have from him now is in your memory.
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2015
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Memories of the man you love come to you at night. You married that man but he died and all you have from him now is in your memory.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2015
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Thanks hon... After the last review my confidence was shaken :(
Missy
Comment from Seven St. John
A lovely, pleasant poem -- but is that all it's supposed to be? There is not one line that sticks to my heart or mind or soul. I think you need to find that line and work it in.
Missy: I'm upgrading the rating and offering a fuller review, because I just read the guidelines for reviewing and you deserve better. The poem's flow is strong. It has a consistent tone. The rhyming is a little awkward in two places but within reason.
I also wonder what your purpose is on this site. If it is to test your work, see how it holds up and then revise for publication, I would still encourage you to work on this poem a little more. I'm a harsh critic of my own attempts at romantic poetry and find most of them lacking in imagination or spark.
John
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reply by the author on 15-Aug-2015
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A lovely, pleasant poem -- but is that all it's supposed to be? There is not one line that sticks to my heart or mind or soul. I think you need to find that line and work it in.
Missy: I'm upgrading the rating and offering a fuller review, because I just read the guidelines for reviewing and you deserve better. The poem's flow is strong. It has a consistent tone. The rhyming is a little awkward in two places but within reason.
I also wonder what your purpose is on this site. If it is to test your work, see how it holds up and then revise for publication, I would still encourage you to work on this poem a little more. I'm a harsh critic of my own attempts at romantic poetry and find most of them lacking in imagination or spark.
John
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2015
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Well I am going to just say thank you like my momma told me to and be gracious.
Missy
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I'm new on this site. So far what I see indicates that most folks here only want to post nice thoughts, but I want meaningful reviews that show where I might improve a poem. If you don't, then I'll avoid offering you any future reviews that attempt to be critical rather than simply nice. sjs
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John I just now found your revised review, thank you. I am on this site to become a better writer. Perhaps later try and get something published.
Thank again for revising :)
Missy
Comment from Green Lake Girl
Delicious memory, indeed. We need to bring the subject of your romantic poems to life! I picture a dark-haired, bedroom-eyed, muscular man...that knows how to cook. LOL
Super romantic poem, Missy. Well done.
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2015
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Delicious memory, indeed. We need to bring the subject of your romantic poems to life! I picture a dark-haired, bedroom-eyed, muscular man...that knows how to cook. LOL
Super romantic poem, Missy. Well done.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2015
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Hi there you...lol, dark-haired, bedroom-eyed, muscular man...VERY NICE thought!!! I am glad you enjoyed this lil offering of mine.(wink)
Always,
Missy
Comment from Ulla
Missy this is truly a wonderful poem. It brought tears to my eyes. There is no need for a warning in this., Picture and words complementing each other beautifully. A joy to read. All the best, Ulla
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2015
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Missy this is truly a wonderful poem. It brought tears to my eyes. There is no need for a warning in this., Picture and words complementing each other beautifully. A joy to read. All the best, Ulla
Comment Written 15-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2015
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Aw, hon, Thank you for such a lovely review. That is the highest compliment any writer can hope for ... to stir emotions. I am humbled.
Always,
Missy
Comment from Chrissy710
I don't think you needed the warning , it was a very nice poem and the image complimented the words. What comes out of a coffee break hey. Your created a nice image of love with this one . Rhymed well and read well .Cheers Christine
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2015
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I don't think you needed the warning , it was a very nice poem and the image complimented the words. What comes out of a coffee break hey. Your created a nice image of love with this one . Rhymed well and read well .Cheers Christine
Comment Written 15-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2015
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Thanks, Christine, for the lovely review you left me here. I am glad you enjoyed it :)
Always justafan,
Missy
Comment from petalangela
Tears are falling fro my eyes I am so sad reading this poem missy my husband had ryes like this and the beautifully penned words stir up my memories my needs my grief,
This is what real poetry is made of
Raw emotions not just words genres etc mean nothing poetry is from the heart or it's not real
This is real
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2015
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Tears are falling fro my eyes I am so sad reading this poem missy my husband had ryes like this and the beautifully penned words stir up my memories my needs my grief,
This is what real poetry is made of
Raw emotions not just words genres etc mean nothing poetry is from the heart or it's not real
This is real
Comment Written 15-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2015
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OMG, Pet, I have tears now reading this. You know you always want to touch a persons emotions with something but god in heaven I don't mean to hurt. I hope they were happy tears hon. I love you!!!
Always,
Missy
Comment from mfowler
This is based on a great idea. It is very sensual due to a vivid deconstruction of memory. Some lines are truly beautiful eg
I close my eyes etc
With eyes as blue as sapphire etc.
With a little tweaking it would flow a little smoother eg
Close my eyes, let (my) memories come
Gone from me now, (just) a delicious memory
This works really well. One of your best recent efforts.
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2015
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This is based on a great idea. It is very sensual due to a vivid deconstruction of memory. Some lines are truly beautiful eg
I close my eyes etc
With eyes as blue as sapphire etc.
With a little tweaking it would flow a little smoother eg
Close my eyes, let (my) memories come
Gone from me now, (just) a delicious memory
This works really well. One of your best recent efforts.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2015
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I like the way you think Mark Fowler. I am on it, to be sure :) Thanks for your valuable feedback :)
Always,
Missy
