Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose

Good

Fan story.
by robina1978

I am not sure what your story is about. You begin proposing the question, do we sin? Then you go on to tell us you are in control, sometimes, and you have no ambition. I think if you had expanded the story more you could have done a better job.

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 13-Aug-2015

Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a great last part of the week.

Comment from The Mom/DarleneThomson

Excellent

This is so well written. I love when a writer knows when to stop. Your point has been made and conveyed. You have chosen lovely artwork. I wish you all the best in the contest.

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 13-Aug-2015

Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a great last part of the week.

reply by The Mom/DarleneThomson on 13-Aug-2015

You too.

Comment from MizKat

Excellent

Hi Ine,

I liked your little story and I believe in a lot of things you said. You did another great job in writing. I'm glad, you write even when you don't really feel like it.

Kat

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 13-Aug-2015

Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a great last part of the week.

Comment from davisr (Rhonda)

Excellent

Do you really think that's what Brooke would want you to do? If she really was your teacher and your inspiration, what message would you be sending her? Do well, look to other people, or to the poet inside of you.
Rhonda

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 13-Aug-2015

Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a great last part of the week.

Comment from Gloria ....

Excellent

Ha! Love this robina, even though it's far too short for the contest that you've entered into. So, unless you expand you will get the DQ.

Gasp! You mean one can sin on FanStory? I always comply to the rules, I guess that lets me off the hook this time.

But do keep writing, girl. It's of course our hope that Brooke will return to us and she would definitely want everyone to keep the home fires burning by writing up a storm. :)

Good point about fans.

Have a great day,

Gloria

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 13-Aug-2015

Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a great last part of the week.

Comment from l.raven

Excellent

HI Ine, I know I miss her...she used to come and correct my mistakes...sigh...now I just wait for her to pop up one day...I hope very soon...I love ya too...well said sweet girl...Luff Linda xxoo

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 13-Aug-2015

Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a great last part of the week.

reply by l.raven on 13-Aug-2015

you too sweet girl...xxoo luff

Comment from lancellot

Excellent

Yes, I miss Brooke too, she is very much missed. On this writing though, I must admit it does not comply with the contest rules. This isn't fiction or fan fiction and it is nowhere near the 700 word minimum.

My suggestion for improvement would be to submit this or future writings like this as a stand alone submission.

When Brooke entered contests she always honored the rules. Not trying to offend you. Just saying.

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 13-Aug-2015

Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a great last part of the week.

Comment from ExperiencingLiphe

Excellent

Things are different without her but that's the crazy part of fanstory, whether we're famous or not, we are our own little family on here. Not sure how Brooke is doing but I do hope she's at least feeling a little better and might peak in on us from time to time.

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 13-Aug-2015

Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a great last part of the week.

Comment from Jackarrie

Excellent

Hi Ine,

I believe all of us miss Brook so much, I was not a fan of hers but as soon as I reviewed one of her poems, I would get a review for one of mine. She was very honest and fair. I have learned from her. I have also learned from other lovely people here. We have no choice but to keep going.

Mary

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 13-Aug-2015

Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a great last part of the week.

Comment from BeasPeas

Excellent

Hi Ine. I like FanStory, too. We have a good time writing on it, don't we? Once in a while there's a snag, but overall enjoyable. You seem to be missing Brooke a lot from what I've read in your previous work. Just remember, we have to write for ourselves. Hugs, Marilyn

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 13-Aug-2015

Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a great last part of the week.