Comment from Pearl Edwards

Excellent

A great final twist, that I didn't see coming. You had me feeling sorry for the single Dad with the screaming baby. Great setting with the pictures. Another good tiny tale of screams.

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 13-Aug-2015

Thanks for reading, and for the great feedback as well, Pearl. It is appreciated, as always.
~Dean

Comment from Spitfire

Excellent

A play on words in the title here? I'd rather hear the rattling of chains when ghosts walk than the wailing of a baby. If I'm reading this right, Daddy killed the baby to stop it in the first place. Now, he'll never get rid of the sound.

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 13-Aug-2015

Thanks for reading, and for the great feedback as well, Shari. It is appreciated, as always. I have left the interpretation as to what's happened prior to our hero hearing his baby crying completely up to the individuals discretion. He's definitely feels guilty for a reason, right?
Thanks again.
~Dean ;}

Comment from bard owl

Excellent

Oooh. That IS evil. Poor little girl, having a father with a psychopathic mind. I know though, babies can seem ruthlessly cruel in their absence of compassion for their sleep-deprived parents. This is truly depraved and an excellent Hitchcock- style horror story. Excellent. Linda

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 12-Aug-2015

Thanks so much for reading my Tiny Tale, Linda. I sincerely appreciate your review, and I'm pleased to know that you enjoyed the story.
Thanks again! ~Dean :}

Comment from Janet Foor

Excellent

This is a tear jerker in addition to being a tale of terror. I get really freaked out when it comes to children in jeopardy. So sad to hear a child's screams even after death. Well done Dean.

Blessings
Janet

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 12-Aug-2015

Thanks so much for reading my Tiny Tale, Janet. I sincerely appreciate your review, and I'm pleased to know that you enjoyed the story.
Thanks again! ~Dean :}

Comment from kiwijenny

Excellent

Yikes ...becaise it's you I didn't jump in fright...very pet cemetary of you..
If you called these tiny tales ..and didn't have horror in the title...it would be scarier...but then you might be arrested ...oh well
Screammmmmmmmmm
God bless

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 12-Aug-2015

Thanks so much for reading my Tiny Tale, Jenny. I sincerely appreciate your review, and I'm pleased to know that you enjoyed the story.
Thanks again! ~Dean :}

Comment from Day Z Chayn

Excellent

Hi Dean,

After I read this, a baby ghoul''s voice in my head screamed, 'OH, CRAP!' (which is what babies do a lot of, even the ghoulish/zombie-like ones.) Because your protagonist works at Macum's Mill (night shift) it made me think of "Rock-A-Bye-Baby. When I was but a wee-ankle biter, I absolutely HATED that song because it does say:

'When the bough breaks,
The cradle will fall,
And down will come baby,
Cradle and all.'

The conundrum was that if I heard anyone singing this song, I'd cry & it didn't even matter how old I was, even if people were joking. I'd just want to run & hide but couldn't very well do it unless I folded myself up just like my own wheelchair.

Trouble was, I took those words literally even before I could actually physically read them on paper. When I got older, I asked myself, "Why should anyone sing 'Rock-A-Bye Baby to a baby anyway?! Haven't they even read the words or otherwise realize what they mean?

I guess dead babies (like dead puppies) really aren't that much fun the second time around. Or are they? I guess the ghoulie's daddy ought to have given her placenta pops or placenta pudding at graveside in order to placate her to stop the s reaming and/or crying but no.

Blessings,
Shane

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 12-Aug-2015

Thanks so much for reading my Tiny Tale, Shane. I sincerely appreciate your review, and I'm pleased to know that you enjoyed the story.
Thanks again! ~Dean :}

Comment from Tomes Johnston

Excellent

This is yet another interesting and sinister poem that the author has created with this piece of writing. This is certainly up to your usual high standard. Well done.

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 12-Aug-2015

Thanks so much for reading my Tiny Tale, Tomes (how's that for a little alliteration, lol?). I sincerely appreciate your review, and I'm pleased to know that you enjoyed the story.
Thanks again! ~Dean :}

reply by Tomes Johnston on 12-Aug-2015

I enjoyed reading this. Well done.

Comment from Michaelk

Excellent

So did the wife walk out or was she walked out? I'm gonna go with the latter since he's not in jail.
That was a scary good story. What a nightmare to have a screaming baby that you cannot silence in any way. You can't even rock her to sleep.
Maybe you could have a priest come by and sing her a lullaby.
Great story, great ending. I think I would either move or go tell the baby where mommy was so she could yell at her.

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 12-Aug-2015

As happens all too often, the wife left after being forced to abort their child, Mike. I don't come right out and say that, but that's the gist behind the story. He tells us in no uncertain terms he makes very little money as a security guard at the mill. And one has to wonder why he's so riddled with guilt that he still hears his unborn daughter's cries in the dead of night. If she'd just been stillborn, he wouldn't feel as guilty unless he somehow caused it.
Thanks for reading. I appreciate your inquiries, your five stars, and your time.

~Dean

reply by Michaelk on 12-Aug-2015

I'm sorry, dude, I must be wearing my 'obtuse' cap today.
Your story said, 'I've done everything I can think of?everything I observed my wife doing before she decided to walk out on us.'
If she had been forced to abort the baby, he wouldn't have seen her doing anything.
Please forgive my stupidity if I'm ust missing it.

reply by the author on 12-Aug-2015

It's all in his mind, Mike. I know, I realize the thought process behind this story is complex, and it's not you, it's me. That's the reason I left it so vague. It would take far too long to explain in a flash fiction story, LOL.

reply by Michaelk on 12-Aug-2015

I have a similar story on the back burner. It's told from the fetus perspective, but in true Kelso (that's my last name) style, you don't realize it's a fetus talking until the end.
I haven't posted it because I'm not sure how it would be received.

reply by the author on 12-Aug-2015

This was a much longer story originally but I trimmed over 500 words to make it comply.

reply by Michaelk on 12-Aug-2015

I've learned that sometimes the story needs room to breathe. I've posted two or three stories in the past month that started out as tiny tales, then as they grew, I just couldn't trim enough to make sense and fit inside 500 words.

Comment from write hand blue

Exceptional

The shock was complete (hence the six).

No I didn't see it coming, the reader starts to wonder then the sudden end just hits you.

As you have said before simple is best.

:) Mel.

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 12-Aug-2015

Thanks so much for reading my Tiny Tale, Mel, and for the six stars as well. I sincerely appreciate your review, and I'm pleased to know that you enjoyed the story.
Thanks again! ~Dean :}

Comment from Margaret Snowdon

Excellent

Oh, Dean - not only creepy, but a bit
of a sickening story since it involves
a baby - he's hearing its screams even
after it's gone.

Margaret

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 12-Aug-2015

Thanks so much for reading my Tiny Tale, Margaret. I sincerely appreciate your review, and I'm pleased to know that you enjoyed the story.
Thanks again! ~Dean :}