Comment from Mystic Angel 7777

Excellent

This meets the contest requirements splendidly with a correct word count. Sad, indeed, as we just had another movie theater incident not far from me this week - you deliver a poignant narrative with the only positive being that he did die in a moment of gratitude and joy. I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you very much for sharing it.

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 07-Aug-2015

Thanks for reading and your kind feedback. I appreciate both!

Comment from mfowler

Excellent

My goodness,your climax was a kick in the guts. Of course, that's what you need in good flash. You set us up well with the lovely domestic story and kill us with the massacre in the theatre, a phenomenon well known. Excellent use of your skinny word budget. Good luck.

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 07-Aug-2015

Thanks for reading and your kind feedback. I appreciate both!

Comment from light

Excellent

Your story is becoming a shocking reality. It was well written and I felt the emotion. I wish you success in the contest.
Elaine

 Comment Written 06-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 06-Aug-2015

Thank you so much, Elaine, for reading and your kind comments. I had no intention of writing this story, but some of the current facts really struck a cord with me. I'am an old guy, but don't remember this sort of thing.

Comment from write hand blue

Excellent

I think that you have started out well with this story. But I feel some lead up is needed to explain about the shooting part to tie the story together.

An original write, good luck with the contest.

:) Mel.

 Comment Written 06-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 06-Aug-2015

Thanks so much for reading and your comments. The subject really impacted me, but the 100 word restriction tied my hands, I'm thinking about a longer post.

reply by write hand blue on 07-Aug-2015

I find that the 100 word limit really does stretch the mind. And is a great way to improve my writing. Some compromises are often needed and I find that I spend a lot of time over a period of days before I'm happy. Keep writing. :) Mel.

Comment from Muffins

Excellent

The positive pulse in the beginning did not warn me of the now all to familiar scene at the end. The family's poverty isn't as awful as the horror that destroys the joy they worked so hard to experience. The ending is shocking because it is not only unexpected but feels, sadly, convincing.

 Comment Written 06-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 06-Aug-2015

Thank you so much for reading and your kind comments. I'm old, I just don't remember such horrific things.

Comment from mvbrooks

Good

You've taken a current news story and made a heart-warming story. Describing how the family members work so hard for their money added to the pathos. The story is realistic (and sad.)

Editing notes:
"On alternating Sunday's, either Dad or Mom, took Roberto to..."
--omit comma after "Mom"

" Roberto, so much wanted to see 'Mission Impossible.'
--omit comma after "Roberto"

"Gathering from the jar, the two almost skipped the two blocks to the show."
--need to add a subject to the first part of the sentence. As it reads now, the "two" were gathered from the jar. Need to add "money" "Gathering money from the jar, the two....

"Not even settled, the show was interrupted with loud pops."
--again, need to add a subject to the first part of the sentence. As it currently reads, the "show" was not even settled -- need to add "We were" not even settled, (etc)

 Comment Written 06-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 06-Aug-2015

Thank you so much for reading and your feedback. I think you're wrong on a couple of them, but what the heck! It's always great to get feedback.

reply by mvbrooks on 06-Aug-2015

Check the grammar online (google it) and let that guide you.

Comment from Bill Schott

Excellent

THONK! That was a different ending that so reminded me of an improvisational piece. Family is average lower middle class going to a flick and BAM! shot by a nut. Someone's reality. Powerful and memorable.

 Comment Written 06-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 06-Aug-2015

Thanks Bill for your thoughtful feedback. A story, of course ,but you picked up on an important element, the "normal" tradegy.

Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose

Excellent

Hello anonymous,

~Movie Night~is a pretty good mystery story for 100 words is not too bad. So far your story is the best one and I think you will get my vote.

 Comment Written 06-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 07-Aug-2015

Thanks for reading and your kind feedback. I appreciate both!

Comment from giraffmang

Excellent

Hi there,

A sad reflection on current events and the society we appear to live in. Putting a virtual face on the victims of such atrocities. Emotional.

Good luck.

GMG

 Comment Written 06-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 07-Aug-2015

Thanks for reading and your kind feedback. I appreciate both!

Comment from humpwhistle

Excellent

Don't mind me, but I'm always a little uncomfortable
when borrow from tragic headlines for personal gain. I'm sure your heart is in the right place, but . . .

Best of luck.

Peace, Lee

 Comment Written 06-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 06-Aug-2015

Thanks for reading and your comments. You can't pick your muse sometimes. I found myself thinking about the tragic shootings and just wrote.