Act of Endurance
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "All Aboard"Dawn of Chaos
63 total reviews
Comment from kiwijenny
I found this daunting after a day spent reviewing.
Think shorter ..think breaking it up..
I like the language you use ..it is fresh
But I will be honest it was just like a train ride..
God bless
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2015
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I found this daunting after a day spent reviewing.
Think shorter ..think breaking it up..
I like the language you use ..it is fresh
But I will be honest it was just like a train ride..
God bless
Comment Written 01-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2015
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Yeah it is long but meant so. Did you really feel the ride. Thanking you for honesty and generous rate for this work.
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Yes and I love trains
Comment from madhatter1977
One hell of a joyride! Very impressive writing and swaying between realism and the fantastic. I think you could have broken this up into verses as it's a long poem, yet I read it to the end and think the imagery is superb and life's journey described very well. If it isn't life's journey I'm not sure I want to be on that train, lol! Best wishes, Hatter
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2015
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One hell of a joyride! Very impressive writing and swaying between realism and the fantastic. I think you could have broken this up into verses as it's a long poem, yet I read it to the end and think the imagery is superb and life's journey described very well. If it isn't life's journey I'm not sure I want to be on that train, lol! Best wishes, Hatter
Comment Written 28-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2015
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Bed time thought for children long to allow them pleasing thoughts before sleep. At least the aim. Thanking you for your patience and generous rate and kind statements
Comment from The Mom/DarleneThomson
I want on that train. It has cherries and fudge. Sounds like Heaven to me. I wasn't hungry until I read your poem now I will have to eat an apple. Fabulous writing. I do have one question in your first sentence did you mean tired? Great job my friend.
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2015
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I want on that train. It has cherries and fudge. Sounds like Heaven to me. I wasn't hungry until I read your poem now I will have to eat an apple. Fabulous writing. I do have one question in your first sentence did you mean tired? Great job my friend.
Comment Written 28-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2015
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Yes I did all my works hold these pits but thanks to those as yourselves lessening impact. Thanking you for your generous rate and pleasing comments
Comment from benoenose
A travel poem full of equip journey piece with emotions of travelling with nature show. Wonderfully recorded with all such travel insights. Read by all those who love travelling by train, a jetting experience.
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2015
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A travel poem full of equip journey piece with emotions of travelling with nature show. Wonderfully recorded with all such travel insights. Read by all those who love travelling by train, a jetting experience.
Comment Written 22-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2015
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Glad at least the intent was received even if not properly stated but a trip. Thanking you for generous rate and welcomed thoughts.
Comment from Spiritual Echo
It's hard to mess with the imaginings of a creative mind, and this poem did take me through some twists and turns of fantasy and perhaps wishful thinking. But both the title and the ending are very confusing.
Is BROAD--as in wide a typo? I believe it should be all a BOARD, as that is the common invitation for passengers to get on the train.
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2015
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It's hard to mess with the imaginings of a creative mind, and this poem did take me through some twists and turns of fantasy and perhaps wishful thinking. But both the title and the ending are very confusing.
Is BROAD--as in wide a typo? I believe it should be all a BOARD, as that is the common invitation for passengers to get on the train.
Comment Written 22-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2015
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You are right. Good shout out I will revise. Thanking you for generous rate and welcomed comments.
Comment from prettybluebirds
Good. I found this work extremely hard to follow and understand. Also, it is very long and I started losing interest about halfway through. You might do better if you shortened and condensed this poem. Best wishes in your writing.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2015
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Good. I found this work extremely hard to follow and understand. Also, it is very long and I started losing interest about halfway through. You might do better if you shortened and condensed this poem. Best wishes in your writing.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2015
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I will take into consideration your comments and it is long. Thanking you for generous rate and welcomed response.
Comment from Nosha17
As a child such train or car journeys can be such a delight. The whole world opens up before your eyes. Good descriptions and imagery. Just one thing, I think maybe this is a bit long. From my own experience the attention of the reviewer on fanstory is very short. Enjoyable read. faye
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2015
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As a child such train or car journeys can be such a delight. The whole world opens up before your eyes. Good descriptions and imagery. Just one thing, I think maybe this is a bit long. From my own experience the attention of the reviewer on fanstory is very short. Enjoyable read. faye
Comment Written 19-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2015
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You are right and hopefully set to print. Glad you like the intent. Thanking you for generous rate and encouraging statements.
Comment from OLA THOMAS
This is a great fantasy, a dreamland to behold. Yes, every child has a dreamland in which he/she lived in but the realities on ground does not allow that to happen as time progresses. A well penned poem, free verse.
ola thomas
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2015
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This is a great fantasy, a dreamland to behold. Yes, every child has a dreamland in which he/she lived in but the realities on ground does not allow that to happen as time progresses. A well penned poem, free verse.
ola thomas
Comment Written 25-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2015
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Thanking you for generous rate and welcomed thoughts about this work.
Comment from Chellybelle
Wow. You really have a way with words. Never have I seen a poem like that conveys such an interesting story in that format. I found it dazzling and intricate. Good job!
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2015
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Wow. You really have a way with words. Never have I seen a poem like that conveys such an interesting story in that format. I found it dazzling and intricate. Good job!
Comment Written 25-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2015
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Nor I finding such gleam in a comment. I thanking you for generous encouragement in conveyances plus kind rate.
Comment from DOMINA ALEXANDRA
This poem reminds me of I life I picture outside of the world we live in now. It was very open-minded and I could literally close my eyes and picture what your poem represented! Great poem. Look forward to more.
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2015
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This poem reminds me of I life I picture outside of the world we live in now. It was very open-minded and I could literally close my eyes and picture what your poem represented! Great poem. Look forward to more.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2015
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Thanking you for generous rate and welcomed comments. Glad you enjoyed this work.
