Dr. Howler's Nightmares
Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "Pole Dancer"A collection of most unusual bedtime stories
15 total reviews
Comment from Dean Kuch
Her raven(,) long black hair cascaded down her back like a flowing river. ---Add a comma where indicated, Brett. Or restructure the sentence slightly; Her long, raven black hair cascaded luxuriously down...
Well, well. It would seem as if the good Doctor Howler is at it yet again. That's good, I happen to enjoy the stories he sends our way.
This story was certainly no exception.
This is a great lycanthropic tail...e-r-r-r-r, heh-heh... tale, that is. It sure didn't end the way I'd thought it would, but that's what makes stories like this so much fun to read. The plotting is familiar, but good. The pacing and suspense should keep the readers engaged. It is that "twist" at the climax that sets this one apart, however.
Great work, Brett. Tell Dr. Howler I said, "Woof~", heh-heh...
~Dean :}
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2015
  |
Her raven(,) long black hair cascaded down her back like a flowing river. ---Add a comma where indicated, Brett. Or restructure the sentence slightly; Her long, raven black hair cascaded luxuriously down...
Well, well. It would seem as if the good Doctor Howler is at it yet again. That's good, I happen to enjoy the stories he sends our way.
This story was certainly no exception.
This is a great lycanthropic tail...e-r-r-r-r, heh-heh... tale, that is. It sure didn't end the way I'd thought it would, but that's what makes stories like this so much fun to read. The plotting is familiar, but good. The pacing and suspense should keep the readers engaged. It is that "twist" at the climax that sets this one apart, however.
Great work, Brett. Tell Dr. Howler I said, "Woof~", heh-heh...
~Dean :}
Comment Written 31-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2015
-
Errors corrected as you suggested. Always appreciate your reviews. Glad you like my little stories. You are the one who turned me on to this genre (see the monster you created?) And, I thank you for that. Doctor Howler likes your tales. He also said "Woof" right back at you too.
-
Heh-heh! You're more than welcome, Brett. They look like they are doing well too. Keep up the "good fight" for horror aficionados everywhere. ~Dean ;}
Comment from barkingdog
So, she wasn't the only one. Aha. Surprise, our supposed hero is now one of the hunted.
Excellent build up to the exciting, flash conclusion.
Love and horror fit together perfectly.
Some suggestions:
-Of course(,) I wouldn't be far behind
- Yes(,) I was wanted.
-Knowing my weapon was securely in place(,) all I could do
-soon-to-be,
-not ever(even) how to wipe
-Carefully(,) I loaded my silver bullets or I carefully loaded my silver bullets
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2015
|
So, she wasn't the only one. Aha. Surprise, our supposed hero is now one of the hunted.
Excellent build up to the exciting, flash conclusion.
Love and horror fit together perfectly.
Some suggestions:
-Of course(,) I wouldn't be far behind
- Yes(,) I was wanted.
-Knowing my weapon was securely in place(,) all I could do
-soon-to-be,
-not ever(even) how to wipe
-Carefully(,) I loaded my silver bullets or I carefully loaded my silver bullets
Comment Written 31-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2015
-
Thanks for your comments and support. Appreciate them very much. Keep your reviews coming.
-
I know you read and review me, too. Thank you for that.
Comment from giraffmang
Hi Brett,
Well, a shewolf indeed, taking the kill back to the pack? Unlucky for our narrator. A neat tale.
GMG
Her raven long black hair - it may be more descriptive to invert this to raven black, long hair.
couple other males - couple of.
definitely was is a crack shot- this should either be am is or was was.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2015
|
Hi Brett,
Well, a shewolf indeed, taking the kill back to the pack? Unlucky for our narrator. A neat tale.
GMG
Her raven long black hair - it may be more descriptive to invert this to raven black, long hair.
couple other males - couple of.
definitely was is a crack shot- this should either be am is or was was.
Comment Written 31-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2015
-
Thanks for your comments and support. Keep them coming.
Comment from amahra
Very nice story. I really enjoyed it. Fantastic art work also: very colorful and beautiful.
Me? I was a nobody in a nowhere bar just pouring blended whiskey down one double shot after another. Oh, at one time I had been somebody but that's another story to be told later. Tonight I kicked back and let the long, painful past go. [Great second paragraph following the opener.]
I watched [the couple other] [?] males of the human species mesmerized...etc." [I watched a couple of other males of the human species mesmerized...etc.]
Before I could make another [,] move shadows bolted out of the far reaches...etc.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2015
|
Very nice story. I really enjoyed it. Fantastic art work also: very colorful and beautiful.
Me? I was a nobody in a nowhere bar just pouring blended whiskey down one double shot after another. Oh, at one time I had been somebody but that's another story to be told later. Tonight I kicked back and let the long, painful past go. [Great second paragraph following the opener.]
I watched [the couple other] [?] males of the human species mesmerized...etc." [I watched a couple of other males of the human species mesmerized...etc.]
Before I could make another [,] move shadows bolted out of the far reaches...etc.
Comment Written 31-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2015
-
Thanks for your comments and support. Appreciate them very much indeed.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Terrific story. He no longer has any use for the corpse, since werewolves don't turn in shewolves, so the town will not be warned, and the WW population will only grow. :)
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2015
|
Terrific story. He no longer has any use for the corpse, since werewolves don't turn in shewolves, so the town will not be warned, and the WW population will only grow. :)
Comment Written 30-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2015
-
Glad you enjoyed this little story. I will let Doctor Howler see your comments and well.
Comment from Muffins
A knuckle-biting tale of cat and mouse ,or should I say man and wolf. The character's "see it all" voice and the sultry descriptions of the She-Wolf completely absorbed me into the story. The plot is a good old fashion good guy chases the bad guy , but with a inside out twist.
This can be read to a child, a grown child at heart!!
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2015
 |
A knuckle-biting tale of cat and mouse ,or should I say man and wolf. The character's "see it all" voice and the sultry descriptions of the She-Wolf completely absorbed me into the story. The plot is a good old fashion good guy chases the bad guy , but with a inside out twist.
This can be read to a child, a grown child at heart!!
Comment Written 30-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2015
-
Thank you for your comments and support. I will let Doctor Howler know you liked his little tale.
Comment from Lani2
This is a very suspenseful story. It did not end the way I thought it would. I thought you would end up saving her from this man, you twisted my thoughts. The wolf will continue on. I did not see anything not to like. Lani2
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2015
|
This is a very suspenseful story. It did not end the way I thought it would. I thought you would end up saving her from this man, you twisted my thoughts. The wolf will continue on. I did not see anything not to like. Lani2
Comment Written 30-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2015
-
Thank you and I will let Doctor Howler know you enjoyed his story.
Comment from joann r romei
This was an easy to follow read, at first I thought he was a serial killer, but you gave the suspense away by saying she was a werewolf. Nicely done.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2015
|
This was an easy to follow read, at first I thought he was a serial killer, but you gave the suspense away by saying she was a werewolf. Nicely done.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2015
-
Thanks for your comments and support. Will let Doctor Howler see them as well.
Comment from Walu Feral
WOW! G'day Brett. You are an expert at these twists mate, that was like an explosion as I waited to find out what she looked like dead. I really enjoyed this Sir.
A couple of suggestions, but perhaps I'm wrong...
" Not ever(even) how to properly wipe their butts."
" One thing I definitely was(am) is a crack shot. I do not miss."
"I had seen the grisly remains of her victim(victims) before."
Cheers Fez
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2015
|
WOW! G'day Brett. You are an expert at these twists mate, that was like an explosion as I waited to find out what she looked like dead. I really enjoyed this Sir.
A couple of suggestions, but perhaps I'm wrong...
" Not ever(even) how to properly wipe their butts."
" One thing I definitely was(am) is a crack shot. I do not miss."
"I had seen the grisly remains of her victim(victims) before."
Cheers Fez
Comment Written 30-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2015
-
Thanks for your comments and support. Corrections made as noted. Keep your reviews coming.
-
Will do brother, I've developed a real liking for your style of writing. It's actually helped me to develop mine. Thanks mate.
Comment from judiverse
This is a spine-tingling one. The guise as a gorgeous pole dancer was a great one, as she was sure to lure her share of innocent victims. The narrator is well aware of the powers of this she-wolf. He's determined to put an end to her, and has persisted in following her. No one has believed his story, and how he's a wanted man. Excellent description of the setting and great atmosphere. It seems that he ends up in the company of other wervolves. judi
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2015
|
This is a spine-tingling one. The guise as a gorgeous pole dancer was a great one, as she was sure to lure her share of innocent victims. The narrator is well aware of the powers of this she-wolf. He's determined to put an end to her, and has persisted in following her. No one has believed his story, and how he's a wanted man. Excellent description of the setting and great atmosphere. It seems that he ends up in the company of other wervolves. judi
Comment Written 29-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2015
-
Doctor Howler does have a unique sense of nightmares. Appreciate your comments and support.
-
Hi, Brett. You're very welcome. Happy trails. judi
