Comment from giraffmang

Excellent

Hi there,

Damn it. I wish I had a six left.
This is one of the best poems I have read in a long time.
Very emotional and deeply affecting.

Brilliant.
Good luck
G

 Comment Written 23-Jul-2015

---

reply by the author on 23-Jul-2015

I'll take "Brilliant" over a sixer any day of the week, giraffmang. Not to mention your very gracious comments. That's very kind of you, my friend. But more than anything else, I'm really glad that you enjoyed it.
Thanks again for the uplifting and positive review. :-)

Comment from Jannypan (Jan)

Excellent

This is a great presentation for the contest. The artwork is sad and a stark contrast to what most think of when they think of a beach.

Good job on the syllable count.

I see no changes.

Best wishes in the contest.

 Comment Written 23-Jul-2015

---

reply by the author on 23-Jul-2015

Thank you for taking the time to review my haiku entry, Jan. I'm very grateful for your positive feed back and contest wishes.
All are very much appreciated. :}

Comment from sweetwoodjax

Excellent

this is an excellent write, mystery writer, I take it this is about the invasion at Normandy? that was a sad day for American history. I wish you the best of luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 23-Jul-2015

---

reply by the author on 23-Jul-2015

It could be on any beach, during any campaign, wherever brave young men (and women, too!) lost their lives fighting in a war, Pam. On Tarawa Beach during the war with Imperial Japan for example, the beach was so filled with make-shift graves that one could barely move, much less continue to fight. Helmets on rifles littered the beachhead for yards and yards. Quite a sight.
Thanks so much for your encouragement and review. It is greatly appreciated. :)

Comment from amahra

Excellent

There is so many different haiku. I didn't know they can be seventeen or less now. Anyway, I liked the haiku and also the art work that you chose to go with it. War is always sad. I'll be glad when American minds its own business and stop send our men and women in other countries to fight for reasons that has nothing to do with us.

 Comment Written 23-Jul-2015

---

reply by the author on 23-Jul-2015

Ha-ha, no, just one form of haiku, Amahra.

Haiku have never had to have 17 syllables. That "rule" is based on something that makes sense in Japanese, but not so much in English.
The "syllables" (onji) in Japanese are in a 5 - 7- 5 pattern, but Japanese is primarily polysyllabic...so creating Haiku in English based on the same pattern is likely to result in a poem that is often too long.
Haiku is less a syllabic form than a kind of poetry. Traditional Haiku have three lines, the first and third lines are separated by a kind of interjection. Good Haiku go beyond the form. The syllabic structure that many learn in elementary school is often the result of teaching about syllables rather than what Haiku really are.

So, now you know, Amahra. Traditional Japanese haiku poets do not count syllables at all--in fact, they never have.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts about the context of the poem. I very much appreciate you review, and your time. :)

Comment from Dorothy Farrell

Excellent

This is very good. Spot on! Lines l and 2 interconnect correctly. Line 3 is a good satori. Sounds like a good description of the landings on the beaches of Normandy in WW2 when so many British and American soldiers were killed and did indeed cover the beaches. The only comment I could make is - did the beaches become their graves? I am not sure. Very well done. Good luck in the contest. Warm regards Dorothy

 Comment Written 23-Jul-2015

---

reply by the author on 23-Jul-2015

Yes, in many instances, just as the photo you see here of Tarawa Beach during WWII Pacific Theater against Imperial Japan, Marines particularly were buried right where they fell because of sanitary reasons and a lack of evac personnel. In addition, they were on an island so it wasn't practical to load up troop transports to ferry the dead back and forth to the destroyers or other vessels in the fleet. It was considered far too risky. Some may have later been removed, but in many instances, their remains are still there, right where they fell.
War is sad, war is Hell, but it is also a necessary evil sometimes.
Thanks so much for your fantastic review, Dorothy. I greatly appreciate your encouraging feed back. :}

Comment from rjuselius

Excellent

this is an outstanding piece of poetic art my friend! i love the whole haiku from line 1 to the satori. exceptional indeed! this should be a winner!
thank you for sharing! virtual six..
blessings!
rebekka x

 Comment Written 23-Jul-2015

---

reply by the author on 23-Jul-2015

Thanks, Rebekka. I'm really pleased that you enjoyed reading it. So many brave young men and women have given everything so we could enjoy the freedoms we do today. I felt it was as good a time as any to honor their memories, and the countless, unmarked graves where they fell.
I am very grateful for your thoughtful review, my friend. Thanks again! :}

Comment from Glasstruth

Excellent

Such a sad poem. Yet, will we ever learn? If all the soldiers would wise up and realize that things won't improve no matter who wins. The last line is very haunting. Well crafted. Les

 Comment Written 23-Jul-2015

---

reply by the author on 23-Jul-2015

Thanks very much, Les, and you're right. In war, no one "really" wins in the end.
Again, thank you for your positive feedback and kind comments. They are greatly appreciated. :}

Comment from Jacob Collins

Excellent

You certainly captured well the imagery of the beach. I particularly liked the humour in your writing and I thought that you wrote it well. I couldn't find any faults. Good luck in the contest...Jacob

 Comment Written 23-Jul-2015

---

reply by the author on 23-Jul-2015

A "No Fault Day" is a very good day in my book, Jacob. Thanks a lot for your encouraging comments as well as your time. :}

Comment from ellie6

Excellent

A sensitive and unusual interprettion of the theme. The illustration complements the body of the story. A well written and clever haiku.

 Comment Written 23-Jul-2015

---

reply by the author on 23-Jul-2015

Thank you, Ellie. As a former veteran myself, I always try and pay tribute to all of the brave men and women (and their families) who have sacrificed so much for so many who enjoy the very liberties and freedoms we all enjoy today. I didn't want to simply write a haiku about a grave. I wanted to make a statement while honoring all of those brave and courageous dead. Hopefully, I succeeded.
Thank you very much for your time and your thoughtful comments. They are appreciated.

Comment from thee-name

Excellent

Excellent Haiku. I enjoyed reading your writing.

on a sun- scorched beach
few spots remain open
men fight to fill them

 Comment Written 23-Jul-2015

---

reply by the author on 23-Jul-2015

Thank you, thee-name! :)

reply by thee-name on 23-Jul-2015

thank you! :>)