Comment from rama devi

Excellent

Great closing line satori--such an effective pun! I can see why this won. Congratulations! This is true to form, artistically presented and nicely phonetic with alliteration of S and F. Bravo. Kudos. I do not recall ever seeing a haiku from you, but this is superb~

Warmly, rd

 Comment Written 24-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 24-Jul-2015

Thank you, rama. To hear "superb" (or see it, rather, LOL) coming from you has aboslutely made my day, my friend. I have studied every haiku book, internet tutorial...anything and everything I could get my grubby paws on to learn the intricacies of the form. I'm nowhere where I'd like to be, but I'll keep trying.
Thanks again for your wonderful feedback and encouragement. It's always a pleasure to hear from you.
All my best,
~Dean :)

reply by rama devi on 24-Jul-2015

Aw, thanks, Dean. What a kind thing to say. Warm and Best Regards, rd

reply by the author on 24-Jul-2015

Same to you, rama. :})

reply by rama devi on 24-Jul-2015

:-)

Comment from Eternal Muse

Exceptional

This is most stunning. Your satori line is superb, as is the rest of it. What a bitter irony - men fight to fight to fill the [grave] spots.

While admiring the skill and imagery of this write, I have to say, it is more of a senryu in its ironical connotation; but it is hard to write a true haiku on this subject matter. You've done an incredible job.

Good luck in the booths.

Y.

 Comment Written 24-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 24-Jul-2015

Wow, a six star rating from you for haiku is like a seal of approval, Yelena. At least it is for me because I've seen the beautiful haiku you've written yourself.

As you've indicated, I used the word "open" in reference to "open" graves, since this is a haiku-grave contest. In other words, the beach was so filled with open graves, there were few spots left but many men fighting and dying to fill them. However, you can't just come right out and say that, not in haiku. The nuances must be subtle so the tell-tale "Ah-ha!" moment sort of sneaks up on your readers. The intent for my haiku entry was not just to write about a "grave", per say, but to write about the courage and sacrifice it sometimes took, and takes, to fill one.

Sun scorched indicates heat, Yelena. Sweltering heat, as it was on the Japanese Islands when US Marines landed on the beaches of Tarawa, which is where my accompanying photo was taken. It was a battle in the Pacific Theater of World War II that was fought from November 20 to November 23, 1943. It took place at the Tarawa Atoll in the Gilbert Island. The climate is hot and humid, with a wet season from May to November. Many Pacific typhoons begin as tropical storms in the Marshall Islands region, and grow stronger as they move west toward the Mariana Islands and the Philippines. So this is my "kigo", or seasonal reference. Of course, it helps to know a bit about WWII history and the climes of the regions in question to pick up on it.

Again, thanks so much for the glowing review and exceptional rating. You have made my day! :)

Comment from LeslieP5

Excellent

This short poem addresses the subject with powerful words and the image is chilling. Its inventive use of "fighting to get in" and its double meaning is original and inventive and unfortunately too true. A very good contest entry.

 Comment Written 24-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 24-Jul-2015

Thank you for reading and reviewing my haiku-grave entry, Leslie. I very much appreciate your time, as well as your encouraging comments.
Take care, and have a wonderful day. Thanks again. :}

Comment from Brett Matthew West

Excellent

How many sun filled beaches are full of men who fought so others can enjoy them? Very well written tribute to those men, ones who should always be remembered. Well done.

 Comment Written 24-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 24-Jul-2015

Thanks so much for you kind comments and very encouraging review, Brett. I truly appreciate your feedback as always. :)

Comment from mfowler

Excellent

Excellent work here, D.
Trademark presentation and quality verse.
Loved the emotive imagery of the sun-scorched beach, the cautionary line about the lack of space, and the sombre, cynical satori of 'men fight to fill them'.
An anti-war poem? A reflection on the gravity of fighting? A reminder of death in foreign places? A damned good entry! Yes.

 Comment Written 24-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 24-Jul-2015

Thank you very much, Mark. It's a little bit of the first three things you mentioned in your review--An anti-war poem. a reflection on the gravity of fighting, and a reminder of death in foreign places--and hopefully a lot of the last one as well, LOL.
I very much appreciate you taking the time to read my haiku-grave entry, and I'm really glad you liked it.
Much obliged, my friend. :}

Comment from I am Cat

Excellent

wow.
very vivid imagery here

the first two lines are very concrete...
I'm not sure if the last line is a satori line or not.
but it certainly seems like one.

it's very real in my mind, that's for sure.
at any rate, good luck in the contest

 Comment Written 24-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 24-Jul-2015

I think it's a satori, Cat. Of course, I would, wouldn't I? After all, I wrote it, lol.
Thanks so much for reviewing my haiku-grave entry. I truly appreciate your kind and encouraging comments. I'm very pleased to know that you enjoyed the poem.
Take care, my friend. :}

Comment from Gloria ....

Excellent

Whoa, author, now this is a creative approach for sure. It states the big grave yard that is the result of war. Ugh. Best wishes to you in the contest. This looks all compliant to me except for the short-long-short format, but I think it might just squeeze by.

Best of luck to you.

Gloria

 Comment Written 24-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 24-Jul-2015

Thank you for your kind and encouraging comments, Gloria. I truly appreciate you taking the time to read and review my haiku-grave entry.
I utilized a 5-6-5 syllabic count, so it should be in compliance, at least I hope so.
Thanks again, my friend, and take care. :)

Comment from danpald

Excellent

So often this is true
To find a spot on the beach
That gives life for others
That is bravery we do no longer need

Such was the beaches of the wars
That still so often flow with blood
May they end this call of life
Yet how when there are some who fight

To end the insane murders
That come from those who do not value life
Those today that think life
Is not to be lived but offered as violence

How can one fight those who do not value life
They come to take or meme without fear of death
When does one learn how to fight this
So you poem moves my mind
Thank you for the gift of life

 Comment Written 24-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 24-Jul-2015

And thank you for understanding the meanings behind my words, Dan, and for reading between the lines a bit, as is intended with haiku poetry.
I very much appreciate your poetic response, my friend. :)

Comment from Zinnia48

Exceptional

This is a tremendously clever and poignant haiku! In just a few brief lines you described a place and a time. the picture is also perfection! Caroline

 Comment Written 23-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 23-Jul-2015

Thank you for your very encouraging comments and most generous rating of six stars, Caroline. I'm so pleased that you appreciated and enjoyed the message behind the simple words. We have much to be thankful for, and we owe it to all of the brave men and women who died and were buried on distant shores, so far from everything they loved and held dear.
I wrote this in their honor, and I'm very grateful for your review. :}

Comment from LIJ Red

Excellent

My thought is, without the prompt and the illustration, I might visualize a crowded
beach with greasy guys in swimsuits throwing beers at each other, quarreling over
places for their chairs...but I am no contest judge, and the picture and prompt
make it all seem clear to me.

 Comment Written 23-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 23-Jul-2015

Or, it could just as easily mean open--as in open graves, Red. Men fight, die, and those spots are filled with their bullet-riddled, bloodied bodies, as was intended.
Thanks very much for your thoughts, and for reviewing, however.