Attention Span
Reality Doesn't Exist If You Are Not Looking - a Ballade63 total reviews
Comment from Laurie Keim
Hi Tony.
This is your reply to Schrodinger's Cat Experiment. I wrote one on the same subject in 1993 The Fires of Metz about Cat, Rat and Bat. It one a prize and was published in Imago.
Your poem tackles something deeper than the contradiction between common sense and evidence at an atomic level. Your poem, cleverly and intelligently, reconstitutes love in material terms. Love is a need that renders us vulnerable and dependent
"My love for you is not a passing phase;
Have pity on this foolish moonstruck man.
Oh, how I love you! I am lost in praise!
My future lies in your attention span. "
The key here is 'lost in praise". I am lost when you praise me for the pleasure is overwhelming and addictive. Or I can't stop praising you and therefore loose my equilibrium. I'm aware that this poem is also playing at comic effects. However, they serve to intensify the irony, rather than dissipate it.
# 2 The reasoning goes up a notch here and Chesterton-like presents a powerful paradox. While I'm 'enchained" to you, it is this servitude that provides me with the only lasting bliss. Call me crazy, if you like, the subject, responds:
"Though I'm enchained, your eyes can set me free
to live a life of bliss. My fancy plays
with cheerful thoughts of domesticity
with you, my love, my life, my only craze."
"Craze' is obsession but it is also a hare's breath away from madness (in keeping with all things erotic related to hares).
The second half of the stanza is extremely wise satire. It asks the question: Can you survive without the attention of material goods? Here, take this gift, I've got your attention now:
"I offer you the world! Attention pays
when such an offer's made. I'm rich. I can
bestow great wealth, so if you're wise, appraise...
Your future lies in your attention span. "
The poet just rotates the atomic field 90 degrees and he has another surprising observation. If we crave attention so much, being ignored becomes the powerful weapon. If it is pushed too hard or too far, we do annihilate ourselves as Schrodinger so rightly observed.
There is great music in this poem, mischief throughout, that leaves the mind buzzing or your lips smiling.
Loved it.
Cheers,
Laurie
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2015
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Hi Tony.
This is your reply to Schrodinger's Cat Experiment. I wrote one on the same subject in 1993 The Fires of Metz about Cat, Rat and Bat. It one a prize and was published in Imago.
Your poem tackles something deeper than the contradiction between common sense and evidence at an atomic level. Your poem, cleverly and intelligently, reconstitutes love in material terms. Love is a need that renders us vulnerable and dependent
"My love for you is not a passing phase;
Have pity on this foolish moonstruck man.
Oh, how I love you! I am lost in praise!
My future lies in your attention span. "
The key here is 'lost in praise". I am lost when you praise me for the pleasure is overwhelming and addictive. Or I can't stop praising you and therefore loose my equilibrium. I'm aware that this poem is also playing at comic effects. However, they serve to intensify the irony, rather than dissipate it.
# 2 The reasoning goes up a notch here and Chesterton-like presents a powerful paradox. While I'm 'enchained" to you, it is this servitude that provides me with the only lasting bliss. Call me crazy, if you like, the subject, responds:
"Though I'm enchained, your eyes can set me free
to live a life of bliss. My fancy plays
with cheerful thoughts of domesticity
with you, my love, my life, my only craze."
"Craze' is obsession but it is also a hare's breath away from madness (in keeping with all things erotic related to hares).
The second half of the stanza is extremely wise satire. It asks the question: Can you survive without the attention of material goods? Here, take this gift, I've got your attention now:
"I offer you the world! Attention pays
when such an offer's made. I'm rich. I can
bestow great wealth, so if you're wise, appraise...
Your future lies in your attention span. "
The poet just rotates the atomic field 90 degrees and he has another surprising observation. If we crave attention so much, being ignored becomes the powerful weapon. If it is pushed too hard or too far, we do annihilate ourselves as Schrodinger so rightly observed.
There is great music in this poem, mischief throughout, that leaves the mind buzzing or your lips smiling.
Loved it.
Cheers,
Laurie
Comment Written 19-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2015
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I must say, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this review and your take on various parts of the poem. As always, you have opened up new avenues to think about and explore. Poor old Schrodinger's cat. I hadn't come across it until the other day when its ghost started appearing in reviews! I obviously haven't been paying enough attention! Beautiful winter's day here today after several wet and windy. I should be outside - for the grass still grows, even when I am not watching it. I'm delighted that you caught all the nuances with the change of direction from one stanza to the next. Best wishes, Tony - and many thanks for the sixth star.
Comment from lancellot
Hmm, I don't if I agree with that theory of Quantum physics, what if there are no men? I smacks of self importance. I do agree with the attention being needed to love between a couple to survive and last. Thoughtful work.
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2015
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Hmm, I don't if I agree with that theory of Quantum physics, what if there are no men? I smacks of self importance. I do agree with the attention being needed to love between a couple to survive and last. Thoughtful work.
Comment Written 19-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2015
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Thanks for your entertaining review, Lancellot. I suspect that the reproductive urge of mankind is sufficiently strong to hold the attention of both men and women, thus ensuring the survival of the species - for at least a little while.
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi, Tony...
_ I like the line with the delete in it.
_ Boy, there are a couple of old boyfriends from high school I would have loved to hit the 'delete' button on. LOL
_ Excellent write---I enjoyed the format of this poem.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*:*)
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2015
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Hi, Tony...
_ I like the line with the delete in it.
_ Boy, there are a couple of old boyfriends from high school I would have loved to hit the 'delete' button on. LOL
_ Excellent write---I enjoyed the format of this poem.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*:*)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2015
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Thanks, Jax. Your desire for a delete button had me laughing! Tony
